Hello world! Al right so this is the thing. I read a story on AO3 (archive of our own) called Hearts (made by Ferith12) and it was amazing! (it was for the DC comics fandom but it was still pretty neat) I was totally inspired by it and I choose to do one for the Naruto fandom. This is no where near as good as his/her's and if you are a Batman fan then I totally recommend you read it, it's very good. Anyway, all the editing credits go to XYZArtemis, my amazing beta! Thank you! Enjoy the story!
In the beginning, Naruto pictured his heart like a pillow: a soft, red plushie he would hug to his chest every night and cuddle with whenever he felt lonely. He would squeeze it between his arms until he could feel every drop of warmth it had course through his tiny body, making him feel complete and safe.
He used to wear his heart on his sleeve, vulnerable to anyone who walked by. It didn't take long for that to change.
His perception of the heart changed in one day, and in those few seconds, he found out hearts weren't made out of cotton as he believed. It turned out they were slightly more fragile than that.
Cotton was too malleable. You could twist it and bend it and crush it with as much force as you wanted, but it would never crack or snap. It would never break. Hearts were not like that.
Running through the streets in the village that night, scared, and with tears in his eyes, he learned just how delicate a heart truly was.
When he reached his apartment, he threw the door open and just as quickly slammed it shut. He pressed his back against it, panting. Slowly, he slid down to the floor, bringing his legs closer to him as one of his hands raised to clutch the fabric of his shirt, right where his heart was. He closed his eyes as a fresh wave of tears fell down his cheeks. Confusion and sorrow filled his mind as let out a small, pained whimper.
Why? Why did they do it? He was just passing by... Why did they corner him? Why did they beat him? What did he do? Did he anger them somehow? Did he do something wrong? Or did they just do it because they could? Was there a reason behind the beating they gave him? Was there a reason for all the cuts and bruises that now peppered his body? Why? He just wanted to know... Why?!
Naruto cried a little harder.
It hurt.
It hurt so much, and the sound of his heart cracking echoed through his mind so loudly he couldn't hold back a shudder. His eyes snapped open and he gasped.
It hurt.
Later that night, curled amongst the mess of blankets placed in the security of his bed, Naruto realized, through tears and healing cuts, that his heart wasn't made out of pillow. It was made out of glass.
Honestly, he should have noticed sooner. Hearts couldn't be like the cotton filling a plushie -what kind of dummy would think that?- that would be too good in a world like this. No, hearts were little, fragile things, clear yet easy to break. Just like glass. Yes... Just like glass.
His heart was made out of glass. Clear, mirror-like glass.
If he had came to that conclusion earlier, he might have been able to spend days thinking about how pretty it must have been. Just imagining a little heart made out of crystal glass, smooth and cool to the touch, certainly better than a pillow. However, it was too late for that. His heart was already cracked and the surface was no longer perfect as he thought it should have been.
But... (the big 'BUT') that was just the first crack. Little did Naruto know that there were plenty more cracks to come. Each running deeper, (why didn't the other kids let him play with them?), and deeper (why did the adults glare at him like that?), than the other.
Little by little, (why did the man refuse to sell him food?), day by day as he grew up (why did the teachers keep ignoring him?), he could feel them; all the tiny cracks spider webbing in his heart (did the teachers hate him as well?) It came to a point where his heart was so covered in cracks that he had to constantly check on it, making sure no pieces fell off and broke, but it was fruitless. The days turned into months and one after another, he heard the soft clanking of those tiny glass pieces as they finally gave up, falling gently to the ground, (he was the nine tailed fox), their sharp edges gracing his skin as they hit the floor, (he was the monster that killed Iruka sensei 's parents), scarring him.
And then, more little shards started to fall...
(He was a monster, and they hated him for it.)
Clank.
(He wasn't the only monster. There were many others hurting the same way he did.)
Clank.
(Gaara... Good God, Gaara...)
Clank.
(Sasuke left the village.)
Clank.
(He betrayed them.)
Clank, clank.
(Gaara died.)
Clank, clank.
(He saw Sasuke again.)
Clank. Clank. Clank.
...until it shattered completely...
(Jiraiya died.)
CLANK.
...and then there was nothing left.
He stood there surrounded by the broken pieces of his heart, like a lost child... And he smiled. He smiled brightly as he took a look around, counting aloud all of the little fragments as if they were stars. He laughed as he played with the many shards, unafraid of their sharpness or the harm they could do if gripped too hard. He smiled as he danced merrily to the sound of an unknown melody, jumping and spinning between sharp fragments. He turned the pieces between his fingers curiously and scattered them throughout the floor the way he liked, creating mysterious patterns of broken glass that resembled the kaleidoscope.
He did whatever he wanted with his heart. However, never did he dare try to fix it.
Naruto would stand before his friends, barefoot and bloody-handed, smiling sincerely at them as they stared at him in confusion.
He had made his decision long ago, and there was no changing his mind. He wanted to stay broken.
His friends looked at him, confused and full of sorrow, asking him why. Naruto had grinned at the question and answered sincerely.
"I like it this way."
Their expressions had been so priceless that he couldn't hold back laughter. They were so shell-shocked.
His amusement had been short lived, though, for the look on their faces was enough to make one of his shards crack once again. They were truly sad. So, Naruto did what he do best. He smiled.
"It's okay," he said soothingly. "It's better this way."
It took him a lot of time to finally convince them to let it be (that he didn't need any fixing), but he did it in the end. However, Naruto could tell by their eyes that they still didn't understand. They still couldn't wrap their minds around the idea of someone wanting to keep their heart broken. Sure, Naruto could see the weirdness in the thought, but he didn't elaborate, even with a million years of time he wouldn't have been able to explain it.
So he returned to his little corner, sitting in the middle of his ocean of broken glass and started to count the pieces once again. He found out there were more than the last time he counted. (Sasuke was a wanted criminal), some of the already broken pieces had cracked and split (Shikamaru and the others wanted to kill Sasuke), but Naruto didn't mind, in fact, he was glad.
Maybe his friends couldn't understand it, maybe he would never be able to explain it, but every little glass, every broken piece, every tiny shard, was beautiful.
His broken heart was so beautiful.
Everytime he would hold one the pieces up against the sun, he would marvel at the sheer reflection of light it gave, blinding him with the intensity it shone with. Everytime he would tie a couple of pieces to the ceiling and let the wind shake them gently against one another, he would listen in wonder to the soft melody they composed, light and merry. Everytime he gathered them in one of the darkest places he knew, he would stare in amazement at the way they sparkled, like stars shining innocently in the night sky, laughing quietly at the world below and it's funny little people.
It was simply beautiful.
Of course, beautiful didn't mean painless. It still hurt from time to time, being broken, that is. It still hurt to recall everything he had to go through for his heart to be the way it was.
But if it wasn't broken, he wouldn't have being able to help so many people (Gaara, Sora, Nagato...). He wouldn't have been able to make it this far.
So yes, his heart was broken, and he wouldn't change it for the world.
It's not done yet! I'm planning on doing one for the rest of team 7, Itachi and Obito. Perhaps one of Gaara. Anyway, review!