AN: Ehehe... Here, have a little drabble with Bill and Dipper's daughter, Penelope, or Pennie [she has a distaste for being spelled after currency]. Here's her little adventure with Auntie Mabel...Poor her lol.

-o-o-o-

How could someone so in love with unicorns be the essence of pure evil?

I thought that it would be okay, me babysitting while Dipper and Bill go out and have some fun for once. But this little monster was a pain in the ass, why the hell didn't they warn me?! I glared down at her, arms crossed, and she returned it, while sitting in her high chair. "Are you this bad in front of your fathers?"

"No, but that's 'cause they're my papa and daddy, Auntie Mabel." Penelope stuck her tongue out and picked up her sippy cup.

I frowned at her. What was I supposed to do now? I was expecting to have a fun day with my niece yet. This. Colouring on the walls, juice stains on her shirt, throwing Food at my new sweater? I didn't expect this.

But at least I gave those two some much needed freedom. I looked at the clock and then to the four and a half year old. "Well don't worry, you're dads are coming home soon, and you won't have to see Auntie Mabel for a while."

"Really?" She pouted before her eyes flickered yellow. "But I was just starting to have fun Auntie Mabel."

"... Alright, time to call them up, I can't with you anymore," I sighed and grabbed my phone. "Dipper? Oh hey Bill. ... Oh. Yeah, I just." I pinched the bridge of my nose and put on my chipper voice. "Yeah! Pennie and I are just fine hun, you have fun with my bro bro, and make sure to bring him back in one piece!" I laughed a bit too hard and hung up quickly, laughter dragging out into a groan.

"So, no papa and daddy yet?" Her eyes briefly flickered yellow, and jesus, I hope she was just playing with me.

I sighed and slumped down into the couch. "Apparently. So what would you like to do, she-devil?"

"Well... Papa and daddy play this game sometimes..."

I quirked an eyebrow at how apprehensive she looked. Would she actually be contemplating having fun with me? I leaned forward, arms crossing over my knees and replied, "Shoot."

Penelope grinned and sat on the couch next to me. "Well, it's something that they say a lot, and apparently they play it too? Daddy would just be happy and Papa would be weird and his face would get red and stuff."

I scoffed. What the hell? "What do you mean? What's it called Pennie?"

She smiled shyly up at me and said, "Sadist and masochist."

I could feel my head explode and my organs implode and all I wanted to see was shirtless boys and girls, laying sexily on a beach at this moment, because as awkward as that was, it would be so much better than whatever the hell this was.

"Th-They - What?"

"Oh... So you don't know what it means neither?" She pouted and thought hard. "Maybe they made the words up for the game..."

Did I really want to ask this? I sighed. "When have they used the word?"

Penelope grinned. "So you do know?!" Her wide child eyes were too much, I almost forgot the bad stuff she did not even half an hour ago.

I screamed internally as I smiled. "Maybe, I think, but I just need to know which context they put it in. How they say it, I mean."

Penelope resumed her thinking position, hand on her chin and her elbow resting on her other hand as she sat up straighter. "Hmm... I think I remember Papa calling Daddy a sadist while he was talking with him? He looked a little sick and his face was red, but Daddy just smiled... I don't really know, but when I asked them, Daddy just said that it was a game? And when I asked to join they just shared a weird look... Auntie Mabel, they're weird, right?"

Oh my fucking god, Dipper, what the hell, why would you fucking do this in front of your fucking child you sick fuck. I was going to have quite the talk with him when he came home tonight... Assuming they'll be back on time.

I laughed awkwardly and looked down at my pastel nails (covered in beautiful silver glitter). "Well... I think Dipper was just calling Bill a meanie if you ask me. He was making fun with him when he was s-sick so uh.. Yeah, that's what it means."

She nodded, digesting the information that her little mind shouldn't know of until much later on in life. "Okay... So sadist is when a person is mean? So then what does masochist mean?"

"H-How was it used sweetie?"

"Uh... I was worried about Papa because their door was locked and it sounded like he was crying, and Daddy just called him a masochist."

What the hell did they think they were doing, doing their weird S and M shit near their daughter? Couldn't they just go to the mind scape or like... BILL WAS A DREAM DEMON, HE COULD KNOCK HER THE FUCK OUT BEFORE THEY DID THIS SHIT.

I just really wanted to pick up my phone again and call them but... It was already 8:53, just seven more minutes, and then they could easily just teleport back when I called.

"I think that that means a person who doesn't really like being mean, kind of like they're opposites, you know?"

She seemed to light up when I told her my excuse of an explanation.

"Oh! So it's like, Daddy is a meanie butt and Papa isn't? That's true though, so why would they use those words?" She slumped at yet another "mystery".

Fuck. These bastards owed me some serious shit now... This was the most I've mentally cursed in a while too. Jesus...

I breathed in deeply before making my super half assed explanation. "Well... Sadist and masochist are super big words so that means they're adult words sweetie. They use these adult words because... It makes the game more f-un," I cracked out, clearing my throat as I quickly put in, "And because they're such big words, you shouldn't use them around other people besides me, Papa and Daddy, okay?"

Penelope grinned, flopping onto the couch and nodded. Her braid was a mess by now and I sighed as that was the only thing I had to worry about.

"So, do you wanna be the masochist Auntie Mabel?"

I wanted to fucking choke and die right then and there. "Wh-What?!"

She looked over at me, still grinning. "Well, it is a game, right?"

"R-Right..."

"Then let's play it!"

I looked at the clock again. It was 9:02. "Actually, it's your bed time, so let's play that later, okay?"

She yawned and nodded, lifting her arms up. "Can you carry me please?"

Finally, the door was unlocking and I nodded as I lifted her up into my arms. "Come on, up to bed."

She rested her head on my shoulder and it was refreshing to see that she wasn't all she-devil. Penelope was in fact, still a little girl.

"Night, night Auntie," she said quietly as I laid her in bed.

I smiled and kissed her forehead. She giggled as I tucked her in. "Good night Penelope."

I patted her head until her breathing evened out. I sighed softly and prayed to the gods that my next visit will be a lot like the end of it, with her as the nice, sweet, little girl she was.

I walked downstairs to find Bill and Dipper still talking quietly by the door. I grinned at their little blushes and how Bill was holding bro bro all protectively, it was so cute when they kissed.

I decided to ruin the moment by walking towards them, my grin growing wider. "So, I had an interesting conversation about your BDSM lifestyle."

I couldn't contain my laughter as Dipper blushed a bright red, stuttering and Bill was just shell shocked. This conversation would definitely make my night better.

-o-o-o-

AN: I'll put this as completed for now, but if you all would like me to continue it, shoot me a message or a review ^-^ I had fun writing this hehe.