What have you done?
By t8dragons
The rest of the journey home was a blur. Trees passed on ether side of him. Their green colour fading. People shouted orders which he followed blindly. Never thinking twice. People died, he never even thought twice about them. So why now? Why did his heart seem to be breaking with every second he got closer to the place he called home. It wasn't like he ever belonged there anyway. People like him didn't have homes. Didn't have families. Didn't have friends. And most certainly didn't fall in love. So why now did he ignore the rules that he had lived by? One thing he knew. He regretted it. Every second of it.
By the time he arrived 'home' it was dark. He walked into his office and sat down at his desk. There was a pile of finished paper work lay on his desk. A small note was attached, it was from Petra. With trembling fingers he picked it up and smoothed it out it read 8 simple words.
I finished the papers for you.
Love Petra
She must have finished them just before they left. His hand shook violently. He picked up the pile of papers and threw them into the fire. He grabbed his chair and smashed it against the wall "Who the fuck cares!" He screamed. He knew it was childish. Every instinct he had fought with over the years came rushing back. The pain. The loss. Being nothing more than a stain on humanity. With the remains of his chair in hand he smashed it into his desk. Shards of glass went everywhere. "It's all my fault!" He cried "I was too late!" He sunk down to his knees. He felt the tears streaming down his cheeks, he just wanted to forget. That's when he saw the bottles of alcohol he kept for a rainy day just like this.
Levi knew he was drunk. He could feel it. And the best part was he didn't give a damn. Not about Petra's death. Not a fucking single thing. He wondered around his dead 'friends' offices kicking their loose things, more rubish i'll have to clean up later. It's not like they'll care if I trash it There dead after all. He giggled. That was fucking hilarious. He started laughing of course they don't care. For some reason that made him Laugh even louder. It was almost hysterical. After a while he felt his laughter turn into sobs. Wracking his body with overwhelming grief. Without realising it he wondered into Petra's room and tried the door. Upon his third attempt the door jambed. At the end of his patience he kicked the door in and stumbled almost expecting to see Petra sleeping on her bed. Her short strawberry blond hair spread around her head like a golden halo. He loved her so much. He took a swig from his bottle only to find it was empty, he hurled the empty bottle at the wall and promptly tripped on the door he had beaten the shit out of a few minuets ago. He narrowly missed hitting his head hard on the end of her bed. That's when he saw a notebook peeking out from under her blanket. When he picked it up a envelope fell out. It was addressed to him. Heedlessly he ripped it open tossing the notebook aside.
Dear Levi.
He paused no one ever wrote dear any more.
If you are reading this then I'm dead.
No.
I just wanted you to know
I'm not reading this.
I refuse.
Burn it.
(Petra is dead)
This never happened.
Tomorrow I'm going to wake up.
(She'll still be dead)
Go downstairs.
And she'll be making coffee.
Just the way I like it.
(You saw her)
We'll work on the papers Erwin gives us.
(And you left her there)
No.
(And you're to much of a coward to ever admit to anyone that you loved her)
I couldn't.
(That's the truth and you know it)
Burn it.
Burn this place to the ground.
Levi awoke to the filth of sleeping on the ground and a pounding hangover.
Soot dirtied his cheeks and clothes. He couldn't remember anything from last night.
Then it all came back.
What have I done?