Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts…obviously…

Warnings: Yaoi (boyxboy) or whatever you wanna call it. Riku/Sora; and language and maybe some spoilers for those who haven't finished or played KH2.

This is a one-shot. It's probably filled with a bit of crack and fluff…

(I'm grounded but my parents seem to think I'll honor the fact and leave the computer alone while they go do whatever… I say I'd rather not look a gift horse in the mouth. I could be doing something worse…like stealing a car and heading towards the border…this thought makes me feel better and eases my conscience who doesn't really seem to care all that much. But enough of my babbling. On with the fic.)

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! NO FLAMES!! That's all I ask.

Summary: Sora rants and a battle of wits leads to so much more.

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I'm In Denial and You're Bi-Polar

Sora, who was now eighteen, was a practical young man in his own opinion. He was relatively a normal person with normal every day activities.

Except for the fact that he saved the worlds.

Twice.

And what the hell did he have to show for it?

NOTHING!

(He didn't even get the girl. Damn misleading action movies…)

Yes my friends, nothing. He journeyed the worlds twice in a damn ship with a duck and dog…(they were great comrades and friends but that's beside the point.) for a little over two years going around and basically going bug exterminator on some heartless bastards who wanted nothing more than to have him thrown in a pit of doom for a perpetual amount of time.

Yes. Whoever said life was a bitch got it right the first time.

Not only that but he had to deal with the King of All Psycho Freaks.

Ansem, the guy-who-talked-shit-but-couldn't-do-shit. The man was a Psycho in every sense of the word. What kind of sane person would want to throw everything in perpetual darkness? That's like wanting to throw the worlds into a huge bowl of dark chocolate pudding…and letting them drown. Take it, it'd be a sweet way to die;

DEATH BY PUDDING!

Not that Sora would let him do that either. Yes, Ansem was a freak. But he did have a funny sense of humor…

He did manage to put Riku in a skirt.

That would have been the highlight of Sora's young life had not Riku been trying to decorate the walls with his guts at the time.

Riku.

Riku, his best friend turned heartless puppet trying to chop Sora down to size.

(Take it, it was Riku who did find Roxas and try to help him. Only after the fool went and screwed everything up.)

Riku, the guy he certainly did not have a crush on.

Riku, the bi-polar best friend who was acting just plain odd.

Yep. Life was twisted and just plain wrong. It couldn't get any worse nor could everything get more confusing. Sora was the forgotten hero with a small crush on his male best friend, who was in denial, Kairi was the girl that had moved on, and Riku was…Riku.

Life couldn't get worse.

Nor could it get anymore complicated.

Not if Sora had anything to do with it.

But unfortunately, Riku, always tends to throw everything into a swirl of dark pitch-blackness…that threatens to suck everything in…including all the grazing cows.

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"Sora…I think we should get married."

Had this come from a beautiful girl and not his estranged best friend, Sora would have probably made better sense of the situation.

"You could have all ten of my babies."

Sora wasn't even gonna honor that one with consideration.

"Sora!? Should I take your silence as an agreement?"

Sora sighed. Not your average everyday sigh either…this was more of a tell-your-best-buddy-he-could-go-jump-in-a-lake-as-nice-as-you-possibly-could sigh.

"Riku…your bi-polarness is beginning to bug me. Even if we did get married, I'm a boy. No babies. Ever."

"There are ways probably. We could look around--"

"There is no way a man can get pregnant--"

"Just like there's no way a kid can save the worlds with a freakin key. Not to mention the talking duck who can perform magic and his dog friend who can skewer you with a shield."

"Did I ever tell you how ugly you look while using sarcasm? Cos yeah, you're looking about as attractive as Jafar in a mini skirt right about now."

If there was one thing Sora still prided himself in was how easily he could get under Riku's skin.

"I would love to see you in a mini skirt."

Not that this low blow battle of wits didn't go both ways.

"But seriously, bi polar isn't attractive either. In some places, they'd probably burn you at the stake or something…"

Riku gave a low chuckle and Sora honestly didn't mean to shiver or like the way Riku's voice sounded.

In a blink of an eye Sora's hands were over his head and his back was pushed against the soft green grass. Riku's lips mere inches from his own…

"How loud to I have to scream in order for you to get off m-umph!" and suddenly Riku's tongue was in Sora's mouth.

Sora honestly didn't mean to like this either.

But he did.

Riku gave Sora's lips one last chaste kiss before he pulled away completely and eyed the baffled brunette.

"Sora, will you marry me?" Riku's eyes held sincerity which in reality sorta scared the Keyblade Master but that kiss…

How long had Sora wanted Riku to do that? It's not every day you fall in love with your best guy friend…Could two guys even get married!?

Wait…how long had Riku felt this way?!

"Riku…this better not be a product of you not taking your medication cos seriously Ansem will seem like a plushie soft bear compared to the hell I will unleash upon you…"

"Sora…I, honest to everything sacred and holy, love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please?"

Sora eyed his silver haired companion and took a careful note to look into the boy's eyes; he'd read somewhere dilated eyes meant the person was on drugs…or in Riku's case, possessed by a homicidal maniac…

"Riku…"

Riku reached forward and pulled the boy into his embrace. Sora out of instinct leaned into the well-muscled arms. The truth was the thought of marrying Riku made Sora want to smile. He didn't get much after what he'd been through.

"I love you."

But this could certainly make up for it.

Sora drew back and looked into Riku's eyes. He moved forward and planted a soft kiss on the other's lips and drew back before Riku had a chance to deepen it.

"I-I love you too."

Smug grin and suddenly Sora felt like punching the dimwit.

"Oh and Riku?"

"Hmm?"

"Bring up the baby issue again and I'll be forced to take the keyblade and shove it up your--"

A kiss interrupted Sora's very serious threat. Riku gave another smug grin and forced Sora to lay on top of him.

"You're an asshole--"

"Love you too Sora-kins."

Nope. Life couldn't get more complicated and Sora would tie Riku up and throw him in a closet should he choose to disturb the peace…again.

The baby issue dropped…when Sora had followed thru on his threat to Judo chop Riku all the way to the Land of Dragons.

So in the end saving the world did have it's rewards…they came in the form of a silver-haired nuisance…

But in the VERY end, it's all Sora could have hoped for and more.

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A/N: Yeah…My fingers just started writing and ended up with this. They seem a bit OOC but whatever.

READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!

NO FLAMES!

Till Later

Twilight