The following are scenes from my original draft of Better to Be Fake and Happy that I deleted for various reasons. If you're reading this on AO3, feel free to skip ahead to the next work in the series (whenever I manage to write that.) If you're on FFN, that means you voluntarily chose to read this fic and I just have to ask, what is wrong with you?

Disclaimer (which is totally unnecessary given that this is a FANFICTION SITE): The following is a work of fanfiction. All recognizable characters are the property of Stage 6 Films, 12 Gauge Comics, and (regrettably) Troy Duffy. All rights go to them and any other third parties that I might have failed to mention.

This fic is rated M for intense crude language, descriptions of violence, and characters displaying suicidal tendencies. None of this goes into MA territory, but if any of this bothers you, you probably should stop reading this fic now. (It's not any worse than the movie, though. I promise.)

It's a strange thought, but it's true; one conversation can change the world. It is. It's really true. Think of all the wars that could have been stopped, all the needless deaths, all the lives that could have been changed, if just two people sat down and had a conversation.

Take this scenario for example: A guy thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him. She isn't really, but he just has this sinking feeling that she is. One day, he decides to drive by her house in the middle of the day just to see if she's there and notices a strange van parked in her driveway. That's all the proof he needs to take out the revolver he keeps in his glovebox, break down the door, and put three shots in both his girlfriend and the cable guy. Yes, the cable guy, who was actually installing her cable. Now, if you think about it, this entire scenario could have been prevented with something as simple as one single conversation. The guy could have just outright asked his girlfriend if she was cheating on him; he could have disclosed his fears to a friend or family member who could talk some sense into him; and hell – not to put the blame on the victim here – his girlfriend could have just mentioned that she was having cable installed in her house that day and maybe he wouldn't have overreacted. However, we can never be sure that things would have gone differently because, unfortunately, that never happened.

Conversations can also condemn you. Think of all the things you agreed to that you absolutely regret now. Maybe it's that guy who you thought was a ten that you left the bar with who later turned out to be a two once you got him home and sobered up a bit. Maybe you told a secret to someone who thought was your friend and they ended up blabbing it to anyone with a pair of working ears. Maybe you said something you didn't mean to a person you care about and never got to apologize for it. Who knows? The point is you've said something that you've said something that either regretted immediately or came to regret later. We all have. Conversely, it might not be something you said, but rather a choice you made. Maybe you agreed to something you wish you didn't. Maybe your choice negatively impacted others and now you wish you never had the conversations that lead you to make that choice. Well, do you?

The point is that a single conversation, a single choice made could change the entire course of history; the entire universe even. It really is strange, don't you think, how just a few little words can have so much power?

April 21st, 2000

She didn't even hear the phone ringing. She was too absorbed in the book she was reading. She wouldn't even remember what the book was about later, she'd just remember that it was so enthralling that Mabel had to drop the phone on her face and snap at her to make it quick because she was expecting a call from some boy. She told the teenager to go screw herself and flipped her off for good measure before bringing the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She said into the receiver.

"Hey, babe," he said.

"Oh, hey," she said. "What's up?"

"Uh, well…" He seemed to hesitate for a second before figuring out what he wanted to say. She didn't think much of it at the time, but she would later. "Nothing much I guess. I was just wondering if you had any plans for tonight."

"Plans," she questioned. "Why would I have any plans?"

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe you decided to go out somewhere with Julie?"

"Where would I go?" She asked. "You always get mad when I go somewhere."

"Well, are you going anywhere?" He asked.

"No," she said. "Of course not, why would I?"

"Good," he said. "I was just making sure. I was actually going to ask if you wanted to have dinner with my parents tonight." Her heart literally dropped when he said that.

"What?" She said. "Can you say that again? I'm not sure if I heard you right."

He let out an annoyed huff before saying "do you want to have dinner with my parents tonight? Yes or no, I need an answer!"

"Yes," she said. "Of course, yes! Oh, God! Sorry, that just took me by surprise. We've been dating for six years and not once have you asked me if I wanted to meet your parents."

"Well, I'm asking you now," he said. "Can you be ready by five-thirty? I'll pick you up."

"Uh, yeah, sure," she glanced at the clock. She had about four hours. "I can be ready by then. God, I can't believe this! I'm meeting your parents!"

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "It's just my parents. It's not like you're meeting the fucking Pope."

"Yeah, but this is a huge step," she said, and she knew exactly what it meant. "I just… I'm in disbelief! I didn't think you wanted something like this."

"Yeah, well, neither did me 'till I did it." That statement was another thing she'd look back on, pick apart, and examine, but once again, at the time she thought nothing of it. She was just so happy that he'd be so ready and willing to make such a commitment. "I'll let you go so you can get ready."

"Okay," she said. "I love you, babe."

"Love you, too," he said before hanging up the phone. As soon as the line went dead she began ecstatically jumping for joy. She couldn't believe this. She was going to meet his parents! That was pretty much just one step away from a proposal. She felt like crying, she just couldn't wrap her head around this. Finally, finally, after six years of dating he was finally ready to spend the rest of his life with her. She had been waiting for this since the day she turned eighteen. She had to force herself to take a deep, calming breath so that way she could make herself look halfway decent so she wouldn't embarrass herself in front of his family.

However, before she did this she couldn't help but have a little fun first. She took the phone, marched straight into the living room, and threw the phone directly at Mabel's head. The girl caught sight of her in time, though, and dodged before it could connect with her skull. As Mabel let out a surprised gasp of "what the fuck", she flipped her off and said: "Fuck you and your little boyfriend! I'm getting married, bitch!" She ran back into the room laughing manically. Mabel chased her halfway up the hall before the phone began to ring again, causing her to make a mad dash to the living room and – from the sound of the crash – body dived for the phone. The thought of the teenager causing bodily harm to herself just to talk to a guy who would probably dump her next week only increased her joy tenfold.

Yeah, me posting this dumpster fire has nothing to do with the fact that I couldn't get all of my post dates for July covered in time. What would give you that idea?

Remember kids, always plan your posting schedules responsibly.

Originally posted to FFN on 7/8/18.