Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece but I am Black
Author's note: It's been a while loyal followers of Korry. A bunch of crap had been going with the computers I buy and my internet service so I've been incommunicado for the past couple of months. My bad… But I have returned with my latest story. I plan to Finish JTTS and Update "Grand Theft Apa" Fairly soon whenever I get the chance. Anyway, A few People who read most of my original fan fiction works are detoured by the fact that I make up most of the characters, but fear not- You will find no Mary Sue's in this fic.
Warning: This story is extremely perverted
The adventures of Percible the Perverted pirate By: Korry
Chapter 1: A fated meeting.
Lately, Rougetown had been unusually quiet, and outlaw-free. Ever since Captain Smoker started enforcing his anti-pirating laws, things had been uneventful, safe, and in other words- boring. Especially for Kitten. Kittara Miribashi, or- Kitten as she preferred to be called, was a former Navel Sargent, who before Smoker came, had enjoyed an action-packed career of outlaw chasing. But with no more outlaws around, she had been "Promoted" to the non-combat position of "Second captain".
Kitten glared daggers, at the officer who had picked out her uniform: A short, white, skirt, a low-cut, white, button up shirt, and frilly green cat ears that matched her hair and eye color. The outfit might have been bearable if not for the strategic location of her logos. One on her chest and another on the back of the Skirt.
"So we know what rank you are." He explained. "Now for your first assignment, me and the boys thought it'd be nice if you arranged the files for us. We'll sit here to make sure you've got the hang of it." He said. A few of the other officers pulled up chairs, and Kitten could have swore that she heard the popping of popcorn as she turned to face the monstrous filing cabinet.
"These are top secret files, you should feel honored." Said her superior, Officer Carver; a short man with buckteeth. "What do I do? They look in order to me." Queried Kitten. "Yeah, but they're way too spaced out, we want you to take the ones from waaaay up there, and put them on the bottom shelf. You can use this ladder." Answered Carver.
Muttering to herself, Kitten ascended the ladder to the highest shelf and began gathering up files, taking notice that someone had "accidentally" left the fan on. These are the most perverted cretins I've ever laid eyes on... She thought contemptuously. There's no one worse, no one! Kitten made it to the bottom cabinet and Kneeled down to put the files in place, pleased to hear the groan of disappointment that followed.
"I read somewhere that kneeling, is bad for your back." Commented an Officer. Kitten ignored him, and continued about her menial task. Suddenly the door burst down, "He's here!" All attention was reluctantly drawn to the newcomer; a boy with purple hair and glasses. He had the stocky build of someone that had relentlessly trained, and gotten very strong in a short amount of time. "We've been informed by a confidential source that, the Pirate known as 'the king of pirates', is in rouge town."
"Very good private Koby." Said Carver. "Private Helmeppo and I request permission to take him down ourselves." Said Koby. "Permission denied Private. He's a notorious criminal wanted on numerous counts of, theft, vandalism, blackmail, and sexual harassment. Not to mention his Allies, who are supposedly the most malevolent batch of pirates since the straw-hat crew. You two wouldn't stand a chance against him." Admonished Carver. "Alright men! Move out!" And with that they departed, leaving Kitten and Koby alone together.
"What are you wearing? That's not standard Navel dress!" Declared Koby blushing. "Take that up with Officer Carver." She replied Nastily. "If they had let me finish, I would have told them where to find Percible." Said Koby, changing the subject. "Yeah that's too bad- WAIT A MINUITE!" Kitten was suddenly upon Koby, shaking him violently. "You know where he is?" She asked. "Y-yeah, Helmeppo's distracting them, while I informed the N-Navy." Stuttered Koby. "Where is he?!" She demanded. "I don't know if I should tell you. After all you're non-combat- Aaah!" Kitten had a pistol pointed at Koby's most precious objects.
"Okay, Okay! They're at the Lovely Rouge Tavern, now please let me go!" Kitten nearly threw him to the ground, and tore out of the room. Finally, some action! Recently her only excitement came from tales of Percible the self proclaimed "Pirate King". "Kitten, what the hell- Aaargh!" She took down one of the passing cadets, and stole his Jacket and hat. It's time to find the Pirate King. she thought as she sped off into the darkness, with Koby in her wake.
Meanwhile, in the Lovely Rouge Tavern, a boy and girl sat together, sharing a bottle of wine. "Oni-Chan, that guy with the weird hair, scares me." Said the girl, clinging to the boy's arm. She was a cute little girl of 13 (Though she looked older), with, tanned skin, white lipstick, long, blond dreads, and Grey eyes. She wore a short black dress, white leggings, and high black boots. The boy looked over to notice a tall man with a mushroom of blond hair staring at them from across the crowded room. He got up and approached the strange man. "Um... could you like... not stare at us? You're Making Chana nervous." He requested.
"I'm sorry, but I could swear I've seen you before." Said the man. "I don't know... maybe we've met before." Replied the boy. "Well my name is Helmeppo, and don't tell anyone this... but I'm a prate." Said Helmeppo, secretly gloating at his "genius". "Really? So are we. Maybe you've heard of me, I'm Percible." He said. "Aha! I got you! I'm really a Navel officer! You're under arrest!" Helmeppo stood up, threw off his guise, and drew his pistol. "Are not." Replied Percible. "Maybe you're in the navy, but you're no officer."
"What do you know?" Scoffed Helmeppo. "Well, for starters your jacket says "Chore boy." Chana interrupted their argument. "Oni-chan! I missed you." She said, in her cute pouty voice. "Who's your friend?" She asked. "Just some Navy boy who wants to capture me. He's not important though." Answered Percible, tickling the side of Chana's neck. "That tickles, Oni-chan!" She giggled, blushing. "Don't forget me! You're under arrest!" People were starting to stare. "I think our friend here is a little Jealous, Chana. I'm willing to share you if you're up to it." Said Percible, casting an oddly furtive look at Helmeppo. "No way! He's weird looking. Besides I bet he only has big hair to make up for something else!"
"WHAT?!!!" Helmeppo had turned a dark shade of red, and steam issued from his mouth with each word. "Oh come on Chana just one little kiss. He's making a scene." By now every eye was on the trio. "YOU ARE UNDER ARR-" Channa's mouth found Helmeppo's, as she held him in a passionate kiss. Suddenly, after a few minuets of snogging, Helmeppo's expression changed from shock, to horror, and he collapsed onto Chana, who allowed him to fall unceremoniously to the floor.
"Just ignore that Drunk, and keep this party going!" Cheered Chana. "Yeah! No self-respecting Navel officer would get wasted like that. Get him out of here!" Demanded a customer, and with that, he and several others lugged Helmeppo's unconscious body out the door. "Poison lip-stick, my best invention yet." Chana gloated. She turned to Percible, and looked at him with a worried expression. "What is it Oni-chan?" Percible took a while to answer. "Someone has come for me."
Kitten scrutinized her reflection in the mirror. A large billowing coat, hid her Assets, and a white Navy cap covered her flowing green hair. She quickly made her way down the twisting path that lead to the Lovely Rouge. "Helmeppo!" Exclaimed Koby, as they arrived at the entrance. Koby's partner was laid out on the doorstep, snoring loudly. "Some partner. What kind of Navy man, gets wasted like that?" Asked Kitten. "It's not like him. It must have been that Pirate!" Declared Koby.
"You stay with your friend, and I'll handle the Pirate." Said Kitten. And with that she entered. The pub was full of its usual low-life inhabitants. It was ironic, Captain Smoker worked so hard to stop piracy, but he'd done nothing about the countless drunks, hookers, and thieves. Suddenly a strange man approached her. He was chubby, with short brown hair, and his predatory blue eyes had an air of hunger about them.
"Are you looking for me?" He asked, his breath smelling of spoiled Nachos. "Are you Percible?" Asked Kitten. "What if I am?" Kitten struck out catching the stranger full force in the face. The stranger crashed into the barstool and passed out. "What a weakling and to think He calls himself a pirate." She scoffed. "No actually, I call myself a pirate." Said a voice.
He was a slim boy, of mid-height, with long untidy hair, pale skin, and bright amber eyes, behind small, rectangle, glasses. He wore black pirate-capris, a white, fitted, and hooded jacket, a T-shirt, and boots. "I can't believe he actually did it. I told him I'd buy him a drink, If he'd pretend to be me." Said Percible. "You knew I was coming?" "Yep." He replied. "Well anyway, I'm um... Officer Kyle the manliest man in the Navy." Said Kitten in her deepest voice. "Liar." Said Percible, and with that, he reached up and grabbed one of her D's. "No guy has Knockers like that. Not even fat-asses."
"Pervert!" She screamed, all masculinity forgotten, and slapped him so hard that he too crashed into A barstool. "Oni-chan!" A girl with Blond dreads ran to Percible's side, and Threw her arms around him. "Are you okay?" She asked shaking him. "Stay away from that pervert! He's a wanted pirate!" Yelled Kitten. "Back off! Dykes scare me!" Retorted the girl. "I'm not a dyke!" Kitten Snapped indignantly. "It's alright Chana." Said Percible gently, and then to Kitten; "Shall we?"
They took their fight outside, So the general public wasn't endangered. The Pirate and the Second-captain, faced each other in front of the execution scaffold, the very place where Gold Roger was beheaded. "This is your last chance to give yourself up." Said Kitten. "No, I'm okay... um... you might want to take off that ridiculous costume... It might, like... get in the way." Suggested Percible. "Shut up!" Snapped Kitten, grudgingly agreeing. Her coat and hat came off to reveal her actual self to the wide-eyed pirate.
"Damn!" Exclaimed Percible, staring. "Tell you what... 'Second-captain' how bout we forget about this fight and go back to my ship?" He leaped backwards, to avoid a crushing blow from Kitten. "Not if you were the last man on earth!" She snapped. "But before I destroy you, tell me this… why do you call yourself the pirate king?" Asked Kitten, with a note of interest in her voice.
"Oh that? That's a typo. My wanted poster was supposed to say Pervert King but the people who made it, were like… wasted, so now everyone thinks I'm some kind of Gold Roger wannabe." He explained. "Ugh… figures." Scoffed Kitten, assuming a Kung- fu stance. "Now that that's settled, prepare face the power of 10 years of tiger school Kung-fu!"
Kitten rushed forward, with her claw like hands made several slashes to Percible's chest and face. "You're so slow." She taunted, catching him in the side of the face again. "What's wrong? Why won't you do anything? Am I too much for you?"
"No, that's not it. It's just that you don't hit very hard. I mean... I like... know this schoolgirl who got really mad when I grabbed her ass, she slaps waaaay harder than you hit." This wasn't true, but Percible's Apathetic demeanor sold the lie, and dealt a great psychological blow to Kitten, who faltered for a split second, but then regained her composure. "Oh yeah? How do you like this!"
She resumed her attack, but this time her technique was sloppier. Kitten kicked at Percible's head, and he ducked under. "Nice panties." He said. "Tiger strike!" Kitten lunged at Percible, who danced behind her and lifted up her skirt. "Very nice panties... they're so small, and your butt's hanging out. I'm going to need a quick break." He commented. "You Jerk!" She struck at him, Percible dodged again, this continued until they stood on opposite sides of a large fountain. "Why do you, like… want to capture me? If you want to have sex, all you have to do is ask. You don't have to do all this fancy Kung-fu." Percible said vaguely.
"I don't know why I'm bothering to tell you this, seeing as I'm about to kick your ass. But for the past weeks, I've seen no action. I've been stuck here in this stupid uniform, doing stupid tasks, for my stupid boss!" Seethed Kitten. "And because I'm a female, with a pretty face, big breasts, and a nice ass, they assume I'd be happy just being their eye-candy! Now maybe if I capture you, I'll get a little respect around here!"
Kitten was suddenly aware of the crowd of people watching the fight, and of the fact that she was yelling at the top of her lungs. "Become a pirate." Said Percible, in his vague tone. Kitten was incredulous. "What? Are you out of your damn mind?!" She yelled. "You got skills to go with that body, you'd make a great pirate. Besides, even though Rougetown is clean, doesn't mean that everywhere else is."
"No way! This ends now!" Said Kitten. "Very well, Now I'll show you my mad skillz! Pervert-fu m4d 5ki11 #2 and a half!" Percible and Kitten leaped at each other at the same time, and met in mid air. As Kitten was about to deal another punishing blow Percible stepped on her ass sending her crashing into the water, and landed on the other side of the fountain, perfectly dry.
"What the hell was that?" Demanded Kitten standing up. Everyone watching the fight was in awe. "What are you all staring at?" She demanded. "Looking for this?" Percible brandished a white lacy D-cup bra. Kitten was struck dumb, her clothes were still in tact, yet somehow that pervert had her bra. "It sure is cold isn't it?" Commented Percible staring harder than ever.
To her horror Kitten noticed that her wet clothes were clinging to her body, and her nipples were at full attention, from a combination of cold, and reluctant excitement. "IDIOT PERVERT!" She ran at Percible with reckless abandon, doing her best to ignore the fact that she was hanging out all over. "All that Jiggly… Hentai-Hentai blast!"
Kitten was blasted backward by a monstrous cascade of pressurized blood that issued from Percible's nose. "What the fuck?!" She on her back, covered in blood, staring wide-eyed up at Percible. "There he is!" The group of Navel officers finally arrived, and headed toward the spectacle.
"Damn! I have to get to the harbor!" Swore Percible. "Stop right there pirate!" Percible whirled around to face the oncoming Navy officers. "Kitten, what are you doing here?" Carver was at her side in a flash. "What happened to you? Are you hurt? You're covered in blood!" He was hysterical.
"We have him." Koby and Helmeppo led Percible by the arms over to where Carver was. "Nothing to see folks, move along!" Said Carver. "Now then, Kitten as for you… well done in distracting him. I'm ready to make you my personal assistant." He patted her on the back, wiping the blood on the sand.
"Come on Kitten, you're a pirate on the inside! Help me!" Said Percible, before Helmeppo elbowed him in the stomach. Suddenly Kitten lifted up her shirt, and bared her breasts to Percible. "Magnificent… HENTAI-HENTAI ROCKET!" Percible was propelled skyward, by a fresh jet of blood. taking Koby and Helmeppo with him. "HENTAI-HENTAI DRIVER!" He landed with great impact, using the two unfortunate chore boys to break the fall.
Almost at once he set off in a dead run for the alleyway, with Carver and his men hot on his trail. Suddenly he was tackled full force by Carver himself. "Ugh... should have gone for totally nude… would have gotten me to the ship..." He muttered in a drained voice. "A devil fruit person. That explains it.. Well it's too bad for you that the party's over. In the few hours you've been here you have broken rule, after rule. From harming a member of the Navy and sexual assault, to being an unregistered Devil fruit person." Gloated Carver.
"When you're right you're right... I've lost waaaay to much blood, to like... be any threat now." Muttered Percible. "Exactly, Since you gave me so much trouble, I should have you put up for the death penalty." He chuckled nastily. "That would not be wise." came a voice, suddenly a large spear was thrust in Carver's face.
"Yeah old man, you best get ya' paws off the captain." Another voice accompanied by a revolver barrel pressed against the back of his neck. "Chana told us what happened, so we came as soon as we Could." Said the one with the spear. She was tall and dark skinned, with long braided hair, and brown eyes. She wore a, tight, black, spandex, body suit and a large green hunting jacket.
"We real sorry boss." Said The girl with the revolver. She was white, with long brown hair, and blue eyes. She had on a bright blue sundress, and a big white cowboy hat. "No problem, you're both here just in time." Said Percible. "You are all guilty of hindering the navy. It is an offence punishable by-" Carver was cut off by the dark woman. "Silence! You do not know whom you speak to. I am Nala the Lioness. I am a great huntress and warrior back in my native land." She declared. "Ummm... Yeah, an' I'm Rosarita, ya best remember th' name!"
"Call your men off." Ordered Chana, from the shadows. "Kitten help me!" Carver begged Kitten, who had just arrived, out of breath. "N-no." She said resolutely, catching a horrified look from Carver. "We've got to get out of here, before the reinforcements get here. Even if Percible wasn't weakened, we still wouldn't last very long against the entire navy. What do we do with the girl?" She asked. "Take her with us, we need a hostage." Said Percible, tiredly.
"Says who?!" Demanded Kitten. "Come on. Do you really want to stay 'Second-captain'?" Asked Percible. "Join us. Oni-chan's really cool." Said Chana. "Yeah, he may be a belly crawlin' perv, but he's a good leader, and has no problem with pretty ladies fightin'." Added Rosarita.
"Kitten, If you go with them, you are a treasoner!" Hissed Carver. "SHUT UP!" Kitten ran forward and kicked Carver full force in the groin causing him to kneel over sobbing. "Guess we have your answer." Mused Percible. "Fine I'll be your hostage… we'll talk about pirating when were off this rock." Sighed Kitten.
Coming next Chapter: Why's everyone after the boss? Hey this ya' little old Rosarita. Perci runs into a lil' trouble when the Navy sends two nasty ol' bounty hunters ta' fight 'im. Not to mention an old rival returns ta' settle an old score. Peri is gon' need more than nosebleeds, and perverted tricks, ta' stand the power, of "Respect for women Kung-fu". He's sooooo cute when, he's fightin' for his life. Will we win? Find out in the chapter: "What trickery is this?! Respect for women Kung-fu?"