Disclaimer: I do not...screw this shit! Would you actually believe me if i told you i own the x-men? Ofcourse not! Then what is up with the writing of the disclaimer? I swear to God it's a a conspiracy against me! I dunno how it came to be or what the conspiracy actually is but God damn it, the world's against me!

Right. Sorry about that. Here's the story:

"Move a muscle…and ah swear to Gawd ah'll shoot ya!"

"Chere!…It's ain't wat it looks'like!"

"Shove it Cajun! Ya'll can't talk you're way outta this one."

"Jeanie asked Remy to do her a favor. She's mind controlling Remy chere!"

"O so now you're Ms. Perfect's little errand boy? Ah'm hurt Cajun. Now ya'll think ah'm stupid too? And what's Scottie boy for anyway? She coulda just asked him ta do it instead of 'mind-controlling' you for it. Ah think ah'll just go ahead with ma plan of action. Ya'll shuda seen this coming. Ya can't get away with everything, everytahme."

"Roguie chere please! Don'cha love dis swamp rat no more? C'mon…Remy sure we can work sumthin out 'tween us. A deal perhaps?" the Cajun pleaded with the Southerner goth. Damn her and her resistance to his charms! Otherwise he wuda been outta this mess in seconds.

BANG

Kurt who had been listening in on the conversation taking place in the kitchen from the hall suddenly bamfed out of his current location to a more 'safer' location and then…

"OMG!!! Rogue killed ze Gambit in ze keechin! She really shot him!!!"

"Dude what are you talking about?" asked a slightly annoyed Bobby from his place near the PS console. Apparently Kurt had teleported in the rec room where all the new recruits were playing video games.

"Mein shwester, Rogue, finally deed it. She killed ze Cajun in ze keechen. I overheard an argume…"

"You were eavesdropping on ROGUE? That's not very nice."

"Plus it's going to be VERY painful if Rogue finds out." Both Jubilee and Rahne added with their two cents.

"I think this is more important! Rogue KILLED Gambit!"

"Who's Gambit?" All eyes turned to Jamie. "Never mind. I'm not even here." And with that Jamie shut up never to be heard from again.

"Right so where were we?" Asked Ray, his eyes glued to the T.V.

"You guys!!! Rogue murdered ze Caju..REMY…ROGUE KILLED REMY!!! What is WRONG wiz you people?!!! Am I ze only one going into hysterias?"

"Rogue killed Remy? NO WAY!" said a disgruntled Amara.

"Finally someone who gets ze gravity of zis seetuation!"

"I told you she'd do it! Now pay up."

"wha…"

"Damn you! I've been cheated! How do I know you didn't plant the gun in Rogue's room? You should know that there are severe repercussions to cheating royalty!"

Kurt just stood there with his mouth hanging open while all the new recruits broke out into a fight of who owed whom and the liability if it was EVER found out anyone had cheated.

On the other side of mansion, in the kitchen:

"Y'r message tone's a gun goin off? Y'sure y'ain't homicidal chere?"

"Put a sock in it, gator breath. Ah'll check ma mobile later. As for now…"

"S'sorry t'interrupt chere but why 'xactly d'y carry a camera wid y'around de house? If y'wanted to get a picture of dis gorgeous Cajun all y'had to do was ask. I wuda modeled fer Roguie anywhere anyway y'wanted it." Finished the sexy swamp rat with a wink to insinuate the innuendo.

"For your information, jerk, ah was on ma way outside to do an assignment for ma crafts class. And then ah find you in here committing the most heinous crim…"

"Zere Scott, in ze keechen! Now she's talking to herself too! She's gone crazy I'll tell ya! I heard ze gun go off wiz ma own ears."

"I think we better be cautious if what you're saying is true. Rogue could be very dangerous with a…"

Scott and Kurt entered the kitchen to find…

"…camera in her hands?" And true to his word, Rogue was standing across from a very much alive Remy with a camera in her hand while Remy had his hand sticking out from the cookie jar.

"Kurt? You didn't seriously wake me up for THIS did you?" Scott said with a tone of voice, which clearly spelt trouble for the Night crawler.

"…Sorry…? But Scott Remy's ze one wiz his hand stuck in ze cookie jar!"

"And it's the last cookie too." Added Rogue her eyes fixed on the Cajun.

"Who cares?!!! You siblings are both messed up. I'm outta her… " but before he could finish he fell in an ungraceful heap on the floor as Kurt stood behind him with a pan in hand.

"Nobody calls me crazy. That'll show him to mess wiz ze Fuzzy blue elf!" cackling insanely Kurt walked out of the kitchen forgetting completely about his earlier hysteria about the cookie and Gambit being dead. (which he wasn't)

"So chere…wanna share de cookie wid ol'e Remy?"

"What about our fearless leader?"

"…."

"Wanna go for a walk outside?" And with that the Southerner couple stepped over the fainted leader and made their way outside, both blissfully munching on the last cookie.

NEXT EVENING:

"All the cookies are…finished? But who would DO such a heinous crime?…

…What do we have here?" plucking a photograph from the side of the fridge right next to which lay the empty cookie jar Jean studied it for a moment.

"Ororo…we have our culprit. And he shall pay dearly!"

Both women wore mirrored evil smirks as they mentally conversed on the best course of action to get revenge on the resident snake charming card-thrower.


THE END

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