A/N - This has now been rewritten in 3rd person pov. I apologize to my 2 followers, if either of you preferred the other way but I myself was unhappy with it. I'm a bit too old now to be writing anything remotely Mary-Sue-ish, and I like to think I've grown (as a writer) past such things.
I've upped the original rating from T to M, due to future instances of smut, you've been warned.
The new title is inspired by a quote from Mr. Robot which stars Rami Malek. (Rami Malek = Josh Washington.)
Disclaimer-Chapter titles will be songs by Placebo.
Belle and Luke are my OCs.
Everyone told Belle nineteen was too young to get married, they warned her that high school sweethearts rarely survived the toll of time. In a way, they were right. Luke went missing from Blackwood Mountain a mere week before the infamous disappearance of the Washington twins, Beth and Hannah. They were wealthy and beautiful, and the media was easily swayed to focus on them, rather than a lone twenty-year-old male lost on his honeymoon. It was hard for Belle not to feel resentment, but she strived to be compassionate nonetheless. The Washingtons seemed nice enough on the news, although who doesn't seem nice when they're pleading for a resolution?
Belle knew she was pitiful for not moving on, she knew deep down that Luke was dead. Yet no matter how unlikely it was that Luke somehow, someway, was still alive out there in the wilderness, Belle couldn't stop herself from hoping, that they would be reunited someday.
Belle was a stubborn girl, there was no denying that. In fact, her beau Luke had once compared her to a blonde bull with a red cape draped over its horns who continuously charged in circles. It was meant to be a snub about Belle's strawberry-blonde hair and her bullheaded nature. Belle never forgot that remark, or how Luke had smirked when he said it.
That singular memory, revolved in Belle's mind as she drove through a snowstorm on the anniversary of Luke's disappearance, to Blackwood Mountain.
Their cabin had been a gift from Luke's uncle, and as such had been fully furnished by Luke's aunt into a cozy love-nest. Luke's relatives had never cleared it out, so when Belle entered the cabin she forgot for the briefest of moments, how much time had passed. The cobwebs were a helpful reminder though.
As Belle unpacked her provisions, she tried not to focus on the knot of worry congealed in her stomach. She had only told one person where she was headed, knowing full-well that anyone else would've tried to talk her out of it. Belle had grown sick of talk, she was determined to take action. Shouldn't have taken her so long to return, she should've mustered up the nerve months ago. The fear of the unknown, was something Belle had often struggled with. How often had her friends done something adventurous that seemed simply too daunting for Belle to participate in? Quite often. Belle wasn't a coward, she loved horror films after all. But horror films, no matter how ambitious the screenplay may be, are predictable. Life is not.
Belle's situational anxiety, was part of the reason Luke had set his sights on Blackwood Mountain. There was also the matter of proving to Belle's parents that he was a grown-up capable of protecting her. In that regard, Belle loved blaming her parents for whatever had befallen Luke. If they hadn't been so against her marrying Luke, she may've protested more against a cabin nestled on the footfalls of an abandoned sanitarium as an ideal honeymoon spot.
Nostalgia overcame Belle, and for a week she remained indoors, pathetically cuddling Luke's jacket, ignoring the strong stench of mothballs. His clothes and hers, had been left behind, hanging dutifully in the bedroom closet. There were various insignificant belongings, littered throughout the cabin - his cologne, her massacre, a small box of their favorite DVDs. Belle reveled in her revere of the past, but not all of her reveling held enjoyment.
Every night, she heard the same strange shrieks that had first sparked her curiosity and ultimately doomed Luke. Belle still had no knowledge as to who or what, was the source, but regardless the sound of it, filled her with a mixture of hatred and dread. Finally she had enough, and rather than search around the immediate area, Belle ventured straight out to the sanatorium. She was bundled in a deep green parka, with black velvet-felt jeans. 'I will have answers damnit.' Belle swore to herself, trying to buff her morale.
Someone had gotten to the sanatorium before Belle, and had taken the liberty of burning the structure down. The sanatorium had been reduced to rubble, a blazing heap of destroyed concrete with diehard embers flaring weakly against the downfall of snow. Belle staggered through the remains in a haze, her mind stumbling through scenarios about who the pyro must've been. It couldn't possibly have been that man with the wolves, could it? Surely he hadn't remained in the mountains all this time. Unless of course he was crazy, perhaps even an ex-patient of the sanatorium itself.
'But why, why destroy it on this night?' Belle wondered. In the midst of her wonderment, she found the passageway or rather, she nearly fell into it. Belle lost track of time while navigating her way through it, but eventually she wound up in the mines, and thereafter, everything else seemed to slip away.
Belle heard a voice, unfamiliar and masculine, echoing through the darkness. Paranoia griped her, freezing Belle in her tracks as she hurriedly clicked off the flashlight. 'Fuck I bet it's the pyro.'
Curiosity is a damnable thing, and when the voice grew neither closer nor further, Belle continued onward, searching for the owner. There he stood, his back to her, his husky form dressed in a blue zip-up which looked ill-proportioned to his petite neck. His black-hair was highlighted by the moonlight streaming down on him, as he blinked up at the crack in the mine ceiling. He was muttering to himself, and though Belle couldn't make out any words, his tone was clearly distressed. 'I've got a bad feeling about this..pfft real original Belle. Well I think I could outrun him, if I had to. Just say something...'
"Hey, you okay?" Belle said aloud, her voice displaying more confidence than she felt. When a few seconds passed without a response, Belle clicked on her flashlight, aiming its beam at the back of his head.
The sudden light startled the man, who propelled his entire body to gawk at Belle. She saw he was her age, his porcelain face marred with dirt and bruises, a laceration on his cheek caked in blood. His teal-water eyes honed in on Belle's apprehensively. "What?" he replied blankly.
"What happened to you?" Belle blurted, stepping closer. 'And why do you look so familiar?' she thought.
"Hannah...it Hannah...n-no, it couldn't have been real...but it was..." he rambled, his voice wavering.
Belle's heart seized in her throat, her pulse quickening in disbelief. "..Hannah..Washington?" she asked.
A frown imprinted on his lithe lips, seeping across his square jaw. He blinked once, then squinted hard at Belle. "You know my sister? I mean you -knew- her, right? Can't still know her, can't be friends with a monster, can you?" he retorted, stifling a laugh. "Did she drag you down here too?" he added, with an almost playful grin.
'Okay..clearly something's wrong with him. Drunk? Concussed maybe?' Belle marveled silently. 'Why does he...wait...wait, I do know him...'
Belle tried to erase the frown that had inhabited her mouth during her wonderment. "You're Josh right? I remember you from the news conference."
"Mm which one?" he dryly replied, rocking on his feet a little. "There were so many...conferences...never any news..."
'Yeah definitely drunk...' Belle thought with a sigh. 'Not gonna get any answers from him until he sobers up.'
"Josh, I think we should get out of here." Belle announced.
"And go where? My 'friends' abandoned me. They were angry, they didn't like my game..they weren't really supposed to. It was going so good ya know...But..Jessica died...and Mike hit me..." Josh explained with a forlorn grimace.
Belle nodded slightly, eyeing his pudgy form. "You were role-playing.." she murmured.
Excitement seemed to flood Josh's stale face. "Yeah I was the psycho! I was great, you'd have loved it...Who are you anyway?"
"No one important. So, was burning down the sanatorium part of your game? Was that how Jessica 'died'?" Belle questioned.
"No...I don't know...Mike wouldn't talk about it.." Josh replied, pacing slightly back and forth. "But it wasn't me! I know, I know it wasn't me, I'm not a murderer..."
'A psycho but not a murderer. Right.'
"I'm glad to hear it Josh. Now follow me, we'll go to my cabin, it isn't far.." Belle said, gesturing for him to come forward.
"Ooohhhhh stranger-danger! You gonna take advantage of me?" Josh responded, jutting his bottom lip outward in a pout. He smirked at her reaction, and took a step forward. "Cause, I don't think I'd mind..." he announced.
'Neither would I..heh bad Belle, bad.'
"Just follow me." Belle said shortly, trying to conceal her smile.
"Alright...Mistress." Josh jeered.
"So how do you like it?" Josh asked, severing the silence.
Belle glanced over her a shoulder, her thoughts shrouded in remembering the course of the passageway. "Like what?" she answered automatically.
There was a cheeky glint to his eyes, which reflected in his haughty reply. "Sex."
Belle felt her face flush, forcibly rolling her eyes. "I like it fine."
"That's not what I meant."
"I know what you meant."
"Okay, Mistress Fine. Just trying to figure out what you have planned for me." Josh submitted.
"I think you've had enough fun for one night." Belle mumbled.
"Nah, can never have enough fun." Josh said, overhearing her. "Besides you weren't there."
"Thank god."
"What?"
"Not much further!"
By the time Josh and Belle reached the surface, it was dawn. The snowstorm had ceased to exist. Belle breathed a sigh of relief, pocketing her flashlight with a soft smile. Josh, however, had began to stare intently at the remains of the sanatorium. Shuffling in small circles, he murmured to himself for several seconds. "..I didn't...did I?..."
Belle glanced over at him with a weary frown coating her bow-shaped lips. "Josh?"
Josh lifted his head, to stare at her. "Did I do this?" he asked blatantly, pointing unnecessarily at the scorched ground.
'Does it matter?' Belle thought shortly.
"I don't know, do you have matches on you? Or a lighter?" Belle countered.
Josh broke eye-contact as he began to fumble around the pockets of his costume. Belle shook her head, amid Josh verbally reaching a conclusion. "No, I don't.."
"Then it wasn't you. Let's go." Belle said, proceeding forward.
Josh barely took two steps, when he paused and asked. "Why are you helping me?"
'Because you needed help. Because you're cute. Because if you aren't completely delirious, and you did see Hannah alive, that means there's a chance my Luke is alive too. All honest answers, but not the kind of answer to shut him up. What will?'
Belle raked a hand through her strawberry-blonde mane, and fixed a smirk upon her face. "Because I'm your Mistress, Joshie. And Mistress says FOLLOW."
A delayed smile sprawled across his empty face. "Yeah. Alright. Whatever you say."
Josh remained blissfully quiet for the remainder of the trek. So much so that Belle regularly glanced back at him, to ensure he was still following. Each time she did, she noticed a slight smirk ebbing on his lips, as if he was withholding a joke. 'How drunk is he? He doesn't smell like alcohol, but maybe...well maybe it isn't alocohol. Maybe his eyes don't always look that...luminous.'
Once indoors, Belle marveled at how numb her legs were. Her lips had blistered from the cold, but rather than search for her lip-balm, she hurriedly started a fire. A splinter invaded her thumb, causing Belle to curse inwardly. Grumbling silently, Belle unzipped her parka and shrugged free of it, her gaze traveling onto Josh who hadn't budged from his position by the door.
"You're real." Josh stated, his mouth slightly ajar. "I thought maybe...you were like Dr. Hill...but you're real..."
'That settles it, he's on narcotics of some sort. Or crazy...who said cute can't be crazy? No one, that's who.'
Belle rested one hand on her hip, the other securing the arm of the couch. "Do you and your friends usually include drugs in your role-playing schemes?" Belle asked flatly.
"No. I had..I mean I gave them, three of them, knock-out gas but that was it." Josh answered.
'Did he just say knock-out gas? Does he mean laughing-gas maybe?'
"You rich kids slay me." Belle whispered, sinking onto the couch. Her deep blue eyes studied the cackling fire mindlessly. "What else?" she pressed.
"Lots of stuff. Took months of planning. You'll see it on the internet soon...I hope. It'll be huge." Josh said, walking heavily forward. Belle rolled her eyes, though she glanced up at him as he hovered beside her. "Hey, why won't you tell me your name?" he inquired.
Belle just studied him for a moment. He had a very square head but angular features that outshone the grime and bruises his face was riddled with. 'His eyes look like liquid aquamarine,' she thought with a dreamy sigh. 'That can't be natural can it? Argh stop ogling him! Remember Luke...'
"It's Belle.." Belle said plainly, peeved at herself.
"Belle...Mistress Belle..." Josh snickered. A warmth spread over Belle's cheeks, and she reverted her attention to the fire, licking her chapped lips in contempt. "Ahhh you like that. Haha! Hm..what else would you like?" he mused, in a seductive undertone.
'My god..okay yes, he sounds sexy when he says my name but that's...nothing really...He's kinda got a sexy voice and those alluring eyes but so what? Married, remember? You're married Belle.'
Belle closed her eyes briefly to regain her composure. "Well Josh...I think I'd like for you to take a shower.." she said, instantly chiding herself for the thrill her own remark instilled.
Josh patted his throat absentmindedly. "Oh? You gonna join me?" he asked with a devilish smirk.
"No."
"You sure? You don't sound sure."
"Please Josh? Just go." Belle ordered meekly, fighting to keep her gaze on the fire. It was unnerving, how badly Belle wanted to watch him unzip his costume, even though she was certain he was wearing clothing underneath. She heard the costume flop free, her eyes fluttering closed in an effort to resist looking.
"Guess you'll know where I'll be..." Josh said, stepping out of the remnants of his 'psycho' attire. Belle watched as he took a few steps toward the bathroom, noting how snugly his actual clothes fitted his petite form. Josh stopped abruptly, leaning down to untie his boots. Belle's eyes strayed where they shouldn't have, and in that very instance was when Josh's orbitals flashed over to her, almost as if he had planned it. "Were you just...?" he began.
"No!" Belle hastily interrupted, busying herself with unlacing her own boots. A puddle had formed beneath her feet, the melted snow inching its way toward Josh's costume.
"Yeah you were, you were checking out my ass, I saw you." Josh chuckled, straightening up as he gingerly kicked off his shoes.
"No I wasn't."
"Then why's your face so red Mistress?"
'Because you're hot, now fuck off.'
Belle set her boots aside, then curled her legs underneath herself. "I don't have to answer to you Joshie. Now take your shower like a good little rich boy.." she sniped, wrapping her arms around her waist in an effort to reassure herself that she was in control.
A smirking Josh picked up his boots. He took a few steps toward Belle, maintaining eye-contact as he leaned down and grabbed her footwear too. "You don't have to act so ashamed Belle." Josh told her blatantly, setting their boots beside the door.
'Of course I do.' Belle thought stubbornly as she watched him walk down the hallway. 'You're not right in the head...and some part of me doesn't care.'
Belle remained stationary until she heard him turn on the shower, then she ushered herself onto the floor and began pawing through his costume. The pockets were empty, and there was nothing hidden in the inner lining. No drugs, no beer caps, no pills, not even a prescription sheet or an appointment card for the doctor he mentioned. 'Maybe he's not crazy, maybe he's just..eccentric? Pfft yeah right. You know better Belle, stop kidding yourself. There's no justification for your lust, it's completely unlike you. Maybe you're the one who's snapped.' Sighing, Belle hoisted the damp material off the ground and hung it on the coat rack. When she turned around, she was face-to-face with an expressionless Josh, a gasp escaping her mouth. 'Whoa -how did he move so fast?'
"It just occurred to me, I have no clothes to change into." Josh stated, matter-of-factly.
Belle forced a smile, her heart still hammering against her ribs. "Yeah you do. You have the same build as Luke." Belle said, side-stepping him.
"But my ass is better right?" Josh joked, following her.
'Yes.'
"Who's Luke?" Josh asked when Belle remained silent.
"My husband." Belle answered, in a slightly harsher tone than she intended.
"You're married?!" Josh retorted in surprise.
"Widowed, I guess." Belle said, leading him into the bedroom. "Luke went missing around the same time as your sisters." she explained, opening the closet to observe the clothing hanging within.
"I'm...sorry..." Josh said from the doorway, his tone burdened with grief.
Belle's blue eyes reluctantly darted toward him. "When I first found you, you mentioned Hannah..."
Josh shook his head once, then began to stare at something in the corner of the room. Belle glanced over her shoulder briefly, confirming there was nothing amiss. Josh began to shake his head again, more rapidly, constantly repeating to himself. "No...n-no..no...NO!"
Belle stepped away from the closet, right into Josh's line of sight. "Okay, no you didn't..." she blurted in alarm. Josh continued staring into thin space, as if Belle were invisible. "Josh?" she murmured, touching his forearm. "Josh? Look at me..." Belle planted a palm against his neck, navigating his chin with her thumb. His eyes remained unfocused, but tears had started to swell against his eyelids.
"Hannaaahhh...what happened to you? Han-nnnaaahhh..." Josh wailed, his eyes searing shut as tears streamed his face. Pure instinct overrode Belle, and she clutched his face into her shoulder, pressing her other hand against his back to close the gap between them. His body, rigid as stone, shuddered with every sob.
'So he's having a psychotic break, and rather than call the police, you're comforting him. Real smart.'
Minutes passed, then suddenly the sobbing stopped. Belle felt him inhale, his nostrils clogged with snot. He slowly pulled away, and Belle readily released him from her grasp. His tears had washed away some of the grime coating his cheeks. "Belle?" he whispered candidly.
'Awe...that face...' Belle simpered mentally, despite herself.
Belle swallowed the lump in her throat, grabbed a random outfit from the closet and handed it to him. "Here. Take your shower." she ordered, though her voice was soft.
Josh barely glanced at the clothes. "Belle, don't call anyone. Please. I'm...I know you won't believe it, but I'm fine now..." Josh told her, his large eyes glimmering with ernest.
'I really doubt that.'
"Yeah, okay.." Belle said with a nod, caressing his forearm. "Just go on, you're wasting all the hot water."
Josh summoned a half-hearted smile. "Then maybe you should join me." he teased.
'Fucking hell. This boy is trouble. Don't respond just...reassure him somehow..'
Belle's fingers hooked around the underside of his chin as she planted a kiss beside his lips. Before Belle could chide herself, his mouth embraced hers hungrily. Josh took advantage of her surprise, his tongue coiling against her possessively.
'Now you've done it! Now...can't breathe...'
Deepening the kiss, Belle's hands clasped either side of his face. One of Josh's palms grappled her waist, pulling her against him.
'Taste dirt...stop...crazy...but...he needs me, I need him.'
Josh's hand traveled up her back, his nails flexing teasingly against the outline of her bra, before settling his palm behind her neck.
'Wrong..wrong...Luke...LUKE...'
Belle dug her thumbnail into the laceration on his cheek. Josh grimaced in pain, breaking the kiss. Breathlessly, Belle took several swift steps backward, nearly careening into the bed before finding the safety of the wall. Josh regarded Belle with an unreadable stare. "...I get it." he stated. Without another word, he turned and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Belle's chapped lips had split open, the taste of her own blood inked her tongue. Closing her eyes in shame, Belle blindly left the bedroom. She entered the kitchen, went to the table, grabbed her half-open duffel-bag and began rooting around for her lip-balm. "What, the fuck?" she scolded herself. "What the fuck do I do now?"