Margarita

Episode: The Third Horseman

Character: Bobby Goren and Alex Eames

Genre: General

Trigger: "Please promise me a margarita when this is over." --Eames

Disclaimer: The usual. Don't own em, don't profit from em. Just doing this for fun.

It was nearly ten o'clock by the time Dennis Griscom was booked and processed. As Eames gathered her things together, Goren leaned against his desk. "Do you want that margarita?" he asked.

She turned her head to look at him, wondering if he was teasing, but he seemed sincere. "Are you buying?"

There was that small, amused smile that so often crept onto his face. "I'll buy."

"Then you're on."

She chose a small bar, well off the beaten path. The last place she wanted to be tonight was in a cop bar or one that catered to the court staff. She just wanted to sit in a quiet bar filled with plain, ordinary folk. She opted for a booth rather than a stool at the bar, and he did not argue. After their drink orders were taken, Eames watched her partner watch the waitress walk off and then turn his attention to the room in general.

She followed his gaze, wondering if he saw what she did: the business man hooking up with a woman who was not his wife, a college kid glancing toward the door every few seconds, nervously waiting for someone, two women, drinking and laughing, a girls' night out...

After sweeping the bar with observant eyes, she brought her attention back to Goren. He was also done scoping the bar. Their drinks arrived: a margarita for her, a double scotch for him. She took a drink and let out a long breath, glad the case was finally over.

Unexpectedly, her mind recalled details she would rather have forgotten. Goren, telling Lorne Cutler he believed violence was the answer to the abortion issue in order to win his confidence and then telling her he thought abortion had to be a choice in life. That was what he thought, but she did not believe that was really what he felt. "Tell me something, Bobby."

He looked up from the tabletop. "What?"

"You told me what you think about abortion, but I'd like to know what you feel..." She laid her hand over her heart. "Here..."

"I told you. It has to be a choice."

"I understand that. But how would you feel if a girlfriend of yours got pregnant? If it was your child that was going to be aborted?"

He looked like she'd struck him, but the look vanished as quickly as it had appeared. He tried to dismiss the question. "I'm more careful than that, Eames."

"Accidents happen; birth control fails."

"I...regret...any loss of life. I think it would...grieve me, deeply, to lose something I had a hand in creating. I would not condone it, but I do believe it would ultimately be the woman's choice to carry the child to term."

"And if she chose not to?"

He shifted uncomfortably and stared at his hands. "I would hope she would discuss it with me and listen to my feelings on the matter, that she would not choose to terminate."

"And if she still chose to terminate?"

"What could I do, Eames? The law gives her the right to make that choice, and I still think it is a choice that has to be available." He raised his eyes to meet hers. "But I like to think I choose my women more carefully than that, and that if a girlfriend of mine did get pregnant, we could come to some sort of agreement on the disposition of the pregnancy."

A smile tugged at her mouth. "In English, Bobby."

His own mouth formed a small smile. "I like to think if I got a woman pregnant, and she did not want the baby, she would still carry the pregnancy to term and then let me have the baby."

"You can't handle your own life. What would you do with a baby?"

"The best I possibly could. It's better than the alternative."

"So you don't approve of abortion."

"I never said that. I was speaking hypothetically about a situation I might be involved in. Every case is different, Eames. It's impossible to make broad generalizations about something so personal. Abortion is something that has to be dealt with on a case by case basis. It's not as open and shut as a murder investigation. There are legal and medical ethics involved and a lot of intense emotions."

She nodded her head slowly, accepting his explanation. Like everything else, his answer was clear and carefully thought out. It was obviously something he had given thought to. "In a nutshell," she pressed for one more answer. "In your own heart, what would your choice be, for a child you fathered?"

"I would choose life," he replied. "I would always choose life."

In the short time they had been partners, she saw that in him. He was always ready to draw his weapon, but he was far less inclined to use it. In fact, she had only seen him fire it on the shooting range. He frequently put himself in a lethal stance, facing off against an armed suspect, staring down the barrel of another man's gun with his own finger set against the trigger. But even under those conditions, Goren was not trigger happy. Even then, he chose to use his words to disarm the other man.

Words were Goren's most effective weapon, and that was a weapon he never hesitated to use. She could not help wondering why he had chosen Major Case over hostage negotiation. He was a rock under pressure and the most effective negotiator she had ever worked with. He never showed his fear; the others never saw him sweat.

But Eames did. She always saw the aftermath of a situation, or at least as much of it as he wanted to reveal. Goren was a very private man, and even she was only privy to glimpses of his personal life.

They each ordered another drink, and it was Goren's turn to question. "What would you do, Eames, if birth control failed you?"

"That's a loaded question."

"I answered you."

She traced the drops of condensate that had fallen from her glass, connecting each to the other with her finger. Then she looked up at him. "When I was in high school, a girl I knew got pregnant. Her parents decided she would have an abortion, and she was never given a choice in the matter, so she ran away. We didn't know what became of her, until I was a senior. She ended up on the streets. Her baby was born addicted to crack and he died four days later. She returned to the streets, and later died of a drug overdose. She was 19." She continued to drag her fingers through the moisture. "When the choice is taken away, women get desperate and terrible things happen. I don't know what she would have chosen to do, but she was never given the option. I have never been in that situation, so I can't say what my choice might be. But I would have a choice."

He finished his drink and said, "Like I told you, abortion has to be a choice in this life."

"When the choice is removed from any situation, when there are no longer options available..." she began.

Slowly, he nodded and completed her thought. "...bad things happen. It's a recipe for tragedy. It's important to have options."

After the waitress brought them fresh drinks, he watched Eames take a drink. "I hope you never have to make that choice."

With a smile, she repeated his words back to him. "I'm more careful than that, Bobby."

Returning her smile, he raised his glass in salute. "Touche, Eames."

Not moving his eyes from hers, he took a drink.