How To Take Over The World Easy Version
a/n:
I guess I have a sort of How To series... Well, this is how to take
over the world. Hope you like!
XxX
Voldemort
carefully watched his evil minions go about their evil business
evilly. Life was good. He had a plan. A plan to take over the
world!
Now he just needed some chocolate...
XxX
"Master,
I never question you... It's just..."
"Are you
questioning me?"
"Me? No! Never! But... What exactly are
you going to do with 500 tons of milk chocolate? And 300 tons of
gummy-bears?"
"Just in case there's people who are
allergic to chocolate..."
"Master?"
"Was
that another question? That's it. I have to incinerate you."
"Master?
Master!"
Fwoosh.
"Well, at least that was
fun."
XxX
Voldermort carefully shaped another
chocolate. He twisted his wand and the final decoration was done. The
chocolate fell into the box with a thump.
There. The last
chocolate done.
"Random minion, see this? Now use the rest of
the chocolate and duplicate it. Don't forget the
spells."
"Spells?"
"Yes. I use the spell
Mens Imperium."
"My lord?"
"Was that
a question?"
"No! No! I'd never question you! That's
what you want, right? Damn."
Fwoosh.
"He was
boring."
XxX
"Master, I will do what you
wish."
"Splendid. I wish for you to send one box to
everyone in Britain. First, check the list. If they are on it, send
one of the other boxes, will you?"
"Very good, my
lard."
"What did you just say?"
"My
lord, my lord. I said my lord."
"Just do it."
"Yes
my lord, my lord."
XxX
Deep in the African jungle, nothing to do with this story happened.
XxX
Jenna
Fairfield opened the package she had just gotten. It said it was from
her secret admirer. The owl who had brought the package had been very
nice, but the kind you could get at any post office. So no clues
there.
Ooh! Chocolates! They were very nice, too. They looked very
expensive.
She picked one at random and bit into it. The chocolate
was heavenly. Perfectly smooth, sweet and chocolaty. It was
the best she had ever had. So good she was starting to feel funny.
Very funny.
The last thing she said before she passed out was
"Long live Lord Voldemort,".
XxX
Dumbledore
opened the package. From a secret admirer? Well, there was this cute
man who lived in Hogsmeade who always smiled at him when he passed...
Or laughed at him. He was getting too old to tell.
Dumbledore
shrugged and ate a chocolate. Very good. Not as good as his lemon
drops,but very good nonetheless.
Dumbledore fanned himself with
his hand. He was feeling rather odd.
With a few mumbled words he
dropped to the floor.
XxX
60,775,988
people later, Voldemort smiled evilly. Sure he didn't have a lot of
minions, little more than a thousand, but he now had over 60 million
people who worshiped him. all of Britain. He had taken over
England! It had been so easy. Too easy... No, just easy
enough.
Yay.
XXX
a/n: I googled the population in
England, and it's 60,776,238. I took some off for
minions and ta-da! Instant take over. You know, it's surprisingly
easy to take over the world. I also found the latin using a
translator. It means 'mind control'.
Alla
