A/N: The sequel to How To Save A Life. Really helps if you read it. If you have a good imagination I suppose you don't have to read the first one.
Spoilers: Season 8 +
Warnings: Abuse - Emotional, Abuse Of Power, Adult Situations, Character Death - Minor Character, Child Abuse - Emotional, Child Abuse - Implied, Dark Themes, Drama, Family, First Time, Flashbacks , Friendship, Genre - slash, Hurt/Comfort, Language - Strong, m/m, Nightmares, OOC [Out of Character], Sexual Content, Sexual References, Sexual Relationship - Consensual, Supernatural - Angels, Supernatural - Demons, Supernatural - Witches, Violence - Implied
Minor changes to Canon: Crowley's mother didn't abandon him until after he was fifteen or sixteen-ish.
Reviews always welcomed!

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With a small sigh Dean turned over and opened his eyes. Sammy? Carefully lifting his arm Dean tried not to wake his brother. Getting out of bed Dean eyed Sam for a moment. Sam seemed to be sleeping fairly peacefully. For all of his worry Dean had slept fairly peacefully as well. Usually the covers were tangled around them when they had to share a bed. Thankfully not this time. Shrugging it off he made his way to the door. Before he left he inspected the room briefly as he always did.

Quietly Dean opened the door and closed it behind himself as he left. Sammy needed a good night's sleep. Making his way to the kitchen Dean paused slightly at his own bedroom door. Pushing himself past he made his way to the kitchen. Breakfast; they needed breakfast. Opening the fridge Dean grabbed some eggs. While he cooked he thought about Crowley. Sam really loved him. Somewhere along the way Crowley had grown on Dean as well. Dean actually found himself worrying about whether or not Crowley was doing alright.

He was just about finished cooking by the time Sam entered the kitchen. Sam seemed distracted as he sat at the table. Grabbing two waters and forks Dean set them on the table and grabbed the plates. Sitting down he shoved one of the plates to Sam. Sam stared at the food for a few seconds before pushing the plate away.

"Eat," Dean ordered pushing the plate back.

"Not hungry," Sam stated.

"Too bad. I didn't say you had to be hungry. I said you have to eat. Now."

"Fine," Sam growled.

Grabbing his fork Sam stabbed at his eggs. Dean shook his head and began eating his own food. Truthfully he understood how Sam felt, he felt the same with Cass still gone. He just couldn't allow himself to wallow in his own pity party. He had to take care of Sam. No matter how worried he was about Cass Sam was his responsibility. Sam had always been his responsibility for as long as he could remember.

In the beginning he had resented not being allowed to have a normal childhood. After a while he realized he didn't trust anyone else watching over Sam. Dad was always gone and mom was dead. Sam was all he had. Before Sam ever understood why they moved around so much Dean knew there were monsters. His greatest fear was losing his brother because he wasn't good enough to protect him. He trained as much as possible and as hard as he could so that didn't happen. Out of the corner he noticed Sam had stopped eating.

"Hey! Food," Dean ordered.

"Whatever," Sam muttered before forking more eggs into his mouth.

Dean shook his head, something had to give. He needed Sam to be okay. Sam represented everything good Dean had given up in order to protect his brother. Sam was everything Dean wanted to be but couldn't. Sam hurting this way was unacceptable but this was something he couldn't fix. Damn you Crowley, Dean cursed. Why couldn't you have stayed a 'monster'? Everything was so much more clear when you knew who the bad guys were.

"Dean?"

Dean glanced up at his brother.

"Can I show you something?"

Sam was eyeing him carefully. Lowering his brows Dean inspected Sam. "Yeah, why wouldn't you be able to?"

Sam hesitated.

"Sammy?"

"I really hate when you call me that."

Dean smiled.

"I…" Sam trailed off and stopped speaking. Finally he reached under the table and fished out some papers. As Sam held them out Dean took the papers and began reading. As he read Dean realized instantly that the letter was from Crowley. As much as he already knew Crowley loved his brother Dean finally saw the demon differently.

He read about himself through Crowley's eyes. Brash and loud, Crowley had called him. Dean frowned. So Crowley had cared about Sam since before they had brought him back. As he continued to read he realized Crowley hadn't understood that for quite a while. Dean realized the demon was already in love with Sam long before he had known it.

"I'm sorry I can't return the shirt, I need it too much. It's the last piece of you I have left. I wish I could be whatever you need, whatever you want, but I can't and I'm sorry… You deserve to be with someone who makes you happy, someone who doesn't complicate your life. Someone who won't hurt you. I can't promise that."

Finally Dean lowered the letter. "I'm sorry," Dean whispered.

"Did…" Sammy trailed off.

Reaching over Dean placed a hand on his brother's arm. "Yeah, he loved you."

"You sure?"

The look on Sam's face was heartbreaking; God damn you, Crowley.

"Yes," Dean answered simply. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Where did you get this?"

"It was on the desk in Crowley's room."

"Not when I woke up it wasn't."

"Sire?"

"You're questioning me?"

"No but I thought the Winchesters were public enemy number one."

Crowley reached out and stabbed the demon.

"Anyone else?"

The other demons shook their heads. He wouldn't tolerate a demon targeting either of the Winchesters. Both were to be protected. Dean because it would hurt Sam if anything happened to his brother and Sam because... Well that didn't matter, he told himself.

Sam… Damn how he missed the younger Winchester. You think you deserve love? Yes, Crowley shot back to the voice. Just… Just not from him. Sam was so… good. Sam deserved someone he could trust. Someone better than him. With the return of the emotions came the return of the voice. Crowley would have done almost anything to stop the voice. The one thing he would never do was letting go of his feelings for Sam. He would die before that happened.

"Sire?"

"Nevermind," Crowley growled. "No one touches the Winchesters. Understood?"

There was a chorus of "Yes sire's," as he nodded. "If anyone doesn't agree now is the time to speak."

No demon opened their mouth.

"The punishment will be worse if you move on them later."

Still no demon spoke.

"If any of you go against my wishes you have no idea how much pain I can give you."

The buzzer for the front door sounded and both brothers glanced at eachother. Shoving their chairs back both made their way to the front door. Opening the door Dean was surprised to find Cass. For a minute he couldn't move.

"With the warding I couldn't just port inside," Cass said quietly.

Finally Dean rushed forward and pulled the angel into a hug.

"God I missed you. Are you alright? Are you okay? How are you?"

"I'm fine Dean. I'm… good. Perhaps we should step inside to continue this."

Stepping back Dean moved to let Cass enter. Shutting the door no one spoke until they made their way to the living room. Sam sat down in the nearest chair and Dean pulled Cass down next to him on the couch.

"I think I can alter some of the wards to allow you and only you to be able to port in," Sam informed them.

"That would be… helpful."

"You sure you're okay," Dean queried.

"Yes."

Cass was so distracted it was disconcerting. Something was wrong with his angel.

"How are you both?"

"I'm fine," Sam told Cass.

No you're not, Dean thought. Don't lie.

"You're lying," Cass stated.

"Okay. But I'm dealing?"

"Yes. That works," Cass stated.

No, Dean thought, not really. Sammy was hurting but there wasn't anything he could do to fix it. God how the hell did he protect Sammy from something like this?

"Sire?"

"Yes?"

"There's a daeva near the Winchesters."

"Acknowledged," he replied.

Sire?"

"Do you want to die," Crowley asked.

"No sire."

"Then leave me."

Crowley watched as the demon left. A daeva they could handle. It was no threat to his Sam and would keep him sharp. No he didn't have to worry about that. Himself? Yes, he worried about that. He had to stay away from Sam as much as possible to keep him safe. He had picked the rare few demons he trusted and few other allies to watch over the Winchesters in his stead.

"Cass," Sam asked

"Yes?"

"Uh. Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're just… not you."

"What do you mean?"

"Sam," Dean chastised.

"No, he's not himself," Sam defended.

"Sammy…"

"He's right Dean," Cass stated. "Absorbing the Grace was more difficult than anticipated. I'm not sure if I could have handled more than the extra two."

Dean frowned. "Two what?"

"Vials of Grace," Cass answered.

"There were four."

"No, there were two," Cass replied with a look of confusion.

"I saw her hand you four," Dean insisted.

"I saw four too," Sam added.

Cass cocked his head as if considering this.

"Okay, what's going on," Dean asked. "You can't remember how many vials there actually were? Sammy's getting ghost mail from hell?"

"Ghost mail," Cass queried.

"It's not ghost mail just because you didn't see it when you woke up Dean."

"I'm telling you there was nothing on that desk," Dean argued.

"How would you know? Why would you have bothered to look?"

"Because I did look, that's why."

"Why?"

"I just did. Drop it Sam."

"No. You can't seriously think I would believe-"

"Because I felt bad okay?"

Sam stared at him blankly and blinked several times.

"I felt bad I didn't bother getting anything for the room before giving it to Crowley. I didn't bother making sure he had anything other than a bed. Everytime I stay in there with you I inspect the room to remind myself I should have done more. He saved Cass' life without a second thought and I couldn't be bothered to make sure he even had a chair."

Sam's expression changed into one of sympathy. Great, the last thing he needed right now was Sam feeling sorry for him. Dean ran a hand through his hair. Turning away from Sam so he wouldn't have to see the look on his brother's face he turned back to Cass instead.

"You're both sure there four vials," Cass asked.

"Yes," Dean told him.

"Yes," Sam agreed.

"Can I see this 'ghost mail'," Cass asked.

Sam hesitated. Dean turned to the table and eyed the letter. Sam finally opened his mouth to but Dean cut him off before he could speak. "You don't see the letter anywhere?"

Cocking his head slightly Cass turned and inspected the room. The angel's eyes skimmed over where the letter sat as if it wasn't there. Turning back to Dean Cass shook his head. Reaching down Dean tried to grab the letter. His fingers passed through the papers. Dean eyed the letter suspiciously.

"You try Sammy," he ordered his brother.

Sam picked the letter up without any issues. Running his fingers down the paper Sam stared as it sadly. That does it, Dean thought. I'm finding Crowley wherever he's hiding and dragging his demon ass back here. Turning Sam reached out and finally handed the letter to Cass.

"Can you see it now," Dean asked.

"Yes," Cass answered distractedly.

"Why couldn't you see it before?"

"It was shielded."

"By who?"

"I don't know but it wasn't Crowley."

"How do you that," Sam demanded.

"The shielding feels vaguely familiar and nothing like demonic magic. I'd almost say…"

"What," Dean pressed. "You'd almost say what?"

"It feels almost like Grace but different, stronger."

"What's stronger than angelic Grace," Dean asked.

"As far as I know only one thing, but it can't possibly be that."

"Can't be what?"

Cass shook his head. "I have to go," he stated as he made his way to the door.

Dean grabbed Cass' arm and stopped him. "What can't it be Cass?"

"I have to go. There are things I have to do. Things you can't be a part of."

"Cass," Dean asked.

"I'm sorry Dean. I have to leave for a while."

"Leave?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"I don't know."

"At least tell me what you think cast the shielding over the letter."

"I can't."

"Can't or don't want to?"

"Can't. There's no way I'm right about what this feels like."

"What does it feel like?"

"I should go."

"I'm not letting you go until you answer me Cass."

"I can make you let go," Cass said quietly.

"You'd use your powers against me?"

Cass didn't respond.

"You made a promise you would never do that."

Cass still remained silent.

"You promised me Cass."

"I'm sorry Dean."

"No, you don't get to be sorry. You made a promise. You gave me your word!"

"What would you have me say?"

"You know what? It doesn't matter anymore. You want to leave? Fine, go."

Releasing Cass' arm Dean glared at the angel.

"I really am sorry," Cass repeated.

Dean refused to respond.

"Cass," Sam whispered. "Don't do this. Please?"

"I have to."

"Dean needs you."

"I don't need you to fight my battles Sam," Dean argued.

"Well," Crowley growled at the demons standing in front of him.

"Alpha team went down. But Beta team's working contingency."

"We had a perimeter around the hotel. We got her."

"Right in there, tortured. If you'd like, I could finish her off."

"Wipe that ridiculous smile off your face," growled Crowley. "What do you want, a medal? A "thank you" for cleaning up the mess you made?"

The demons looked between themselves before making a hasty retreat leaving him alone before the door. Rolling his eyes Crowley opened the cell's door. "Everyone working for me touched? Bunch of needy, squalling, incompetent infants."

"The king at last," called out a voice he hadn't heard in centuries. "King of what? Lilliput? I mean, I'd heard you were short, but…" trailing off the woman chuckled. "Well?! Get to it. Time for the coup de grace, wee boy. Is something the matter with you? Cat got your tongue, hmm? Meow."

"Mother?"

Backing out of the cell he slammed the door shut. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't really be here. He looked through the bars at the top of the door. Grinning his mother threw her head back and laughed again. Crowley stumbled back away from the door. Turning hurried down the hallway.

When was out of the area near the cells that were warded to keep demons from blinking in or out he blinked to his own quarters. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be here. Emotions threatened to consume him and Crowley struggled to breath through them. If there was one person he had ever been afraid of it was her. She had made his life hell growing up and then abandoned him.

If she was here Sam was definitely in danger. He should kill her now and be done with it. The problem was, he couldn't. Despite everything he had always wanted her to love him. Still wanted it somewhere deep down inside. This was the problem with emotions. This was why he should have let them go completely. Unwilling to let Sam be in danger and unable to kill his mother Crowley desperately sought a way to fix this.

Placing the note on the coffee table Sam head for the door. He couldn't stand just sitting in the bunker right now. Cass was off doing who knew what and Dean decided to try to drown himself in alcohol. With those two distracted Sam decided to leave the bunker and just drive for a while. He should be able to make it back to the bunker before Dean sobered up and realized his car was missing.

Driving down the highway Sam let his mind drift. He had no good excuse for why Dean or Cass hadn't been able to see the letter but there was an even bigger question. How had the letter gotten there in the first place. Cass hadn't been able to port into the bunker even with the extra Grace. Crowley was good at being sneaky but there was no way he would be able to blink in if Cass couldn't. It had to be someone with more power than those two.

Question after question ran through his mind as he drove. Not one of them had any good answers. He spent so long pondering them he didn't realize how long he had been driving until the sky began to lighten. Checking the gas tank he groaned. Dean would kill him if he brought the car back with no gas.

Sam made his way to the nearest gas station. Still distracted by the questions he filled up the Impala before heading inside to pay for the gas. As he made his way back to the car he heard someone say his name. Turning Sam frowned when he noticed the men standing behind him.

"Yes?"

There was a soft flutter of wings as one of the two disappeared. He hear the sound again behind him. Angels, he thought as he started turning to keep an eye on both of them. Before he could manage there was a firm grip on his shoulder and the world went black.

"Sire."

Crowley turned and glared at the demon.

"What part of 'do not bother me under any circumstances' did you not understand?"

Reaching out with his power he raised the demon by his throat.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you." He let the demon gasp for air before removing just enough pressure to allow speech.

"I bring news," the demon gasped.

"News of what?"

"Sam Winchester," the demon managed still gasping.

Crowley stiffened and retracted slightly more of the pressure. "What news?"

"He was taken... by angels."

The angels had his Sam? Why would angels even want him? With everything else the angels were dealing with the Winchesters should be fairly low on their priority list. Even if they ran across either one of the brothers there was no reason to abduct them. Except as leverage against Castiel, Crowley realized. None of what happened had been Castiel's fault but the angels did still blame him.

"Sire?"

"Bring me the angel Castiel," he commanded flinging the demon against the wall. Stumbling the demon stood and opened the door. The demon fled pausing only to make sure to shut the door behind himself. The angels had his Sam? If they did anything to hurt him…

A very annoying buzzing sound assaulted his ears. Groaning Dean turned over and reached for his phone. Fumbling for a while he finally managed to grab the cell. Inspecting the caller I.D. Dean frowned at the number. Flipping it open he finally answered.

"This better be good Crowley or-"

"The angels have Sam."

"What?"

"The angels abducted Sam. We need to get him back. Now."

"That's impossible Crowley. There's no way they could get into the bunker to take him."

"For whatever reason Sam left the bunker last night. Two angels spotted him and took him."

"Why would he leave the bunker."

"We don't have time for this. Believe me or don't but I trying to help your brother. If you have any way of contacting Castiel I suggest you do it. I've got demons looking for him but that might take too long."

Before Dean could respond Crowley disconnected the call. Damn it! Sam would never have left the bunker without telling him. At the very least he would have left a note. Dean headed for his brother's room taking the stairs two at a time. As he ran up the stairs he punched Sam's number into the phone.

"Sammy!"

Slamming the doors open to both Sam and Crowley's rooms he found both empty. Dean racked his brain trying to find a way Crowley was wrong. As the phone rang for the sixth time someone finally answered.

"Dean, so good of you to call."

"Where is he you son of a bitch?"

"I assume you mean your loving brother?"

"Where is he!"

"Sammy can't come to the phone right now. He's all tied up at the moment."

"If you touch him-"

"Too late I'm afraid. However if you want to keep him alive I'd suggest you don't interrupt me again."

"How do I know he's still alive and you haven't already killed him?"

"You don't, but I don't lie. I'm afraid you're just going to have to take my word on this. If you continue to defy me it'll be Sam that pays. Understood?"

Dean seethed wanting to tell him off but not willing to risk Sam's life.

"I'm waiting Dean."

"I want proof he's alive."

"He's alive because he's no good to us dead. We only need one of you though. If you don't cooperate now I'll kill him and you can take his place."

"What do you want."

"It's simple really. I want you to do absolutely nothing. If your angel friend plays friendly than your brother gets returned."

"Cass?"

"Must you humans always insist on bastardizing everything. If you mean Castiel, then yes. You will call him and you will tell him he is required to report to heaven, then you will do nothing. If you and he can follow the rules your brother will be returned."

"Unharmed."

"You do not set the conditions. Defy me and your brother dies."

The line went dead and Dean slammed the phone shut. Crowley was right. How the hell had Crowley known angels had Sam? Opening the phone again he redialed Crowley. The phone rang several times before it was answered.

"A little busy at the moment as you should be."

"How did you know it was angels that took Sam?"

"Because I had eyes watching. Now is not really the time for this conversation. I'll call you back."

"Crowley," Dean yelled as the line went dead. Damn it!

With no other option Dean closed his eyes and prayed to Castiel.

"And who was that?"

"No one you need to know about. Just tell me what I need to know."

"Why would I. I mean have you seen the appalling living conditions I have to endure."

"This is not a debate mother."

"I beg to differ. See, you want something of me. Why should I not get something in return?"

Could he find Sam without her? Did he dare waste time trying? How could he set her free knowing that would just endanger Sam if she ever found out about him? Crowley turned his back to her and his eyes slid closed.

"You're wasting time, dear boy. Tick tock, tick tock."

At the sound of the doorbell buzzing Dean opened his eyes. Guess Sam hadn't gotten around to fixing the wards yet. Walking to the front door Dean paused with his hand on the knob. Or Sam had fixed the wards and that wasn't Cass. The buzzer sounded again as Dean continued to hesitate. This was stupid. No one else knew where they were and it was unlikely another angel had heard his prayer to Cass.

Yanking the door open Dean was relieved to see his angel there. Well, hopefully still his angel. Reaching forward he pulled Cass inside. Shutting the door he locked it and turned back to Cass. God, he wished he knew where they stood with each other now.

"You prayed?"

"The angels took Sam."

Cass cocked his head and stared at Dean. "Why?"

"Because they want you."

"Why take Sam?"

"How the hell would I know?"

"How do you know it was angels?"

"Crowley told me and I actually talked to one of the douche bags on Sammy's cell."

"What's Crowley's part in this?"

"Aren't you listening? Sammy's been taken by angels. We need to get him back, now."

"We will, I just need some information plan how."

"Shall we see what's in that head of yours?"

Sam glared at the angel.

"Oh don't worry. It won't hurt that much."

As the angel walked closer struggled to break free but the ropes binding him to the chair held fast. Reaching forward the angel pressed his hands to either side of Sam's face. Sam jerked sideways but the angel merely tightened his grip. Bring his face down to look eye to eye with Sam the angel grinned.

Sam felt a sharp pain pierce his mind and flinched in pain. There was a feeling like a hundred nails were being driven into his brain and his vision flashed solid white. He wasn't going to live through this. How could he? He was going to die this time. He would never see Dean again. Never see Crowley. Suddenly the angel hissed and released him. Sam breathed as the pain lessened minutely.

"What did you do?"

Still struggling with the pain Sam couldn't respond.

"Did you find the location?"

"Yes, sire. A warehouse three miles north of the town."

"Gather everyone else. We leave in five minutes."

The demon left to carry out the order.

"Just what's so special about this… human?"

"We have a deal mother. You're freedom for your assistance in this task."

"It's a simple question Fergus."

"Crowley," Crowley growled. "And the deal was no questions asked."

"I was just making polite conversation."

"Move, we're wasting time."

"He's only a human. Why go to this much trouble over him?"

"Move mother."

As they started to meet up with the rest of the demons a sharp pain stabbed through his mind.

The angel released another thread of Grace into his mind and Sam groaned. The pain was unbearable. Please let this end, Sam begged. He couldn't take anymore. I'm sorry I couldn't hold out any longer Dean. It hurts too much. I'm sorry for not being able to make up my mind Crowley. Forgive me.

The angel hissed and withdrew the Grace.

"That. How do you do that," The angel demanded.

Sam was so lost in the pain he couldn't comprehend the question. Didn't want to comprehend. He only wanted this pain to finally end. His only regrets were how hurt Dean would be and never getting to see Crowley one last time.

The second they blinked to the warehouse Crowley pulled out his cell called Dean.

"Please tell me you found your angel."

"Angel," his mother asked.

Crowley waved her away.

"Yeah, why? What's up?"

"Found Sam."

"Where?"

"Warehouse three miles north of town. There's an angel guarding him. Think Castiel can take care of that for us?"

There was a slight pause before Dean responded. "He says yeah. Only one?"

"As far as we know."

"Be right there," Dean replied cutting the call.

Closing the cell Crowley put the phone in his pocket and waited. One minute; two minutes. Hurry it up! Finally there was a flutter of wings. Crowley gave a sharp nod towards the warehouse. "In there."

Cass glanced at the warehouse and back to Crowley. "Give me a minute or two before the rest of you enter. I'll take the angel elsewhere and deal with him."

"Understood," Crowley acknowledged.

Without another word Castiel ported into the warehouse. After exactly two minutes Crowley grabbed Dean's shoulder with one hand and looked to the other demons. "Everyone go," he ordered.

Blinking into the warehouse Crowley didn't know what to expect. The second he saw Sam bound and bleeding in the chair he froze. They were too late, Sam was dead. Crowley felt his world falling apart until he saw Sam's he roll slightly to the side. Sam was alive? Without a second thought Crowley blinked to his side. Reaching up Crowley cupped Sam's cheek.

"Sam? Say something, please?"

"So he's your current boy-toy is he?"

Crowley spun to face his mother. Muttering a few words she flicked her hands out and Crowley braced to defend himself. Nothing happened. Behind him Sam groaned loudly. No, Crowley thought terrified. "Kill her," he ordered his demons.

Turning back Crowley knelt next to Sam. Sam was still groaning and struggling against the ropes binding him. With a thought Crowley willed the ropes away. Grabbing Sam's shoulders he pulled him close. Crowley desperately thought through all the witchcraft he knew trying to figure out what she had done to him.

"Crowley," Dean yelled. "Little help here?"

Twisting Crowley looked back over his shoulder still clinging to Sam. Everything was complete pandemonium. Demons were fighting demons. Dean was being attacked by two demons at once. That bitch who'd done who knew what to Sam was just watching. Every now and then she'd throw out another spell either killing the demons in one area or causing a few to go berserk and attack everything around them.

Crowley was torn between helping or blinking Sam out of the warehouse. Before he could decide the doors swung open. Squinting against the brightness Crowley felt the presence before he could see it. Cain. This was bad, they needed to leave. Now. Crowley looked back to Dean and realized there was no way he could reach the older Winchester in time. Attempting to blink out with just Sam Crowley's fear grew when he realized his powers were suppressed. They were all going to die.

All the demons had stopped fighting and were just staring. Cain finally strode into the warehouse and wave a hand behind himself. The doors slammed shut. Every demon in the building rushed Demon Knight. Crowley grabbed the chair Sam was sitting in and dragged it to a corner in the back of the room. Pulling out the angel blade with his left hand he grabbed the Colt with his right. Whatever happened he would protect Sam.

Despite the overwhelming odds Cain had no problems besting the demons. It was over in a matter of minutes. When all the other demons were dead Cain turned to Crowley's mother. As she raised her hand to cast a spell Cain lunged at her.

"No," Crowley yelled. Before he could act his mother was dead. Crowley turned back to Sam. Sometimes a spell could be broken if you killed the witch who had cast it. Not this time it seemed. Sam was still groaning and tossing back and forth in the chair.

"So you're the demon he's in love with," a low voice noted just behind him.

Crowley spun to face Cain.

"We needed her alive!"

"Did you?"

"Sammy," Dean called out.

Keeping himself between Sam and Cain, Crowley shifted to let Dean get to his brother.

"I don't have any idea what spell she cast. We needed her to take the spell off him!"

Cain raised an eyebrow and peered over Crowley's shoulder. Shifting Crowley raised the angel blade. Cain's eyes move to watch Crowley. For a moment neither spoke. Finally Cain broke the silence.

"I met him once. They unintentionally did me a favor so I repaid him by giving him some advice. I'm going to give you the same advice now. Pay attention to it, I don't do favors often. As much as you need him, he need you."

"How do we get the spell off him?"

"I told you what you need to know. You have to figure out the rest."

Before Crowley could ask anything else Cain was gone.

"What's wrong with him," Dean asked worried.

Turning back Crowley instantly dropped down to kneel next to Sam again.

"I don't know. It's a spell my mother cast."

"You're mother?"

"Yeah," Crowley admitted. "And what I know about witchcraft wouldn't scratch the surface of what she knows."

"Are you crazy? Why would you bring a witch into this?"

"I was thinking I might need her to help save Sam. Why else would I have risked freeing her," Crowley spat out. "Okay, think," he said talking out loud to himself. "There has to be something I'm missing."

"Yeah, you missed the part where we don't make deals with witches."

"Not now Dean."

"Not now? This is your fault Crowley!"

"I know that!"

"And freaking Cain. Why couldn't he give us anything we could use?"

Crowley froze. "Cain?"

"Yeah. Not long after you left we took out an angel. Cain showed up later that night spouting the same crap."

"Exactly the same?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes Dean, answer me!"

"Fine, yes. Exactly the same. 'As much as you need him, he needs you.' Lots of good it did. You stayed gone, Sam continued pining. By the way, I owe you something."

Crowley looked up just in time for Dean's fist to crash into his face. Wincing Crowley rubbed his jaw. "What the hell was that for?"

"For breaking my brother's heart. I told you, you hurt him, I'll hurt you."

"I'm sorry," Crowley whispered staring at the floor.

"You need to tell Sam that, not me."

As much as you need him he needs you.

Standing Crowley lifted Sam out of the chair. Crowley sat in the chair and pulled Sam onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around the younger Winchester Crowley dropped his face into Sam's neck. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I only ever pushed you away to keep you safe. I'm sorry Sam."

A very unpleasant memory from his past flashed through his mind and Crowley shoved it away. "You have to come back to me Sam. I need you."

Another unpleasant memory from his past flashed across his mind and Crowley growled before shoving it away. "I'm sorry. For everything. Please come back Moose."

Suddenly every single painful memory he had came crashing back. Crowley gasped struggling to breath. He remembered every beating he received when he had been a child until he was able to stand up for himself. He remembered when his mother had found out he liked men as well as girls. The punishments from that had been worse than any before.

He remembered the real reason he had sold his soul. He had begged and pleaded, and screamed through the punishments for not doing as she wished, until he finally gave in and sold his soul for her benefit. He remembered vividly the the pain of the torture pits in hell. He had sworn he would never be weak again. Then he had been captured. Captured and turned mostly human; not even fully human. What right did he even have to exist? No one wanted him. No one needed him.

"Crowley?"

Dean? Crowley opened his eyes and looked up at Dean without moving. Yes, Dean; Dean and Sam. Sam at least needed him. He snuggled against Sam's neck and inhaled deeply. He could smell Sam's shampoo in his hair. He had to focus. If he couldn't focus he couldn't help Sam.

"Sam," Crowley whispered. "Come back to me? Please. I need you. I promised you I would wait forever for you to understand how you felt. I meant it. I would wait forever for you, but right now I need you to come back. For me?" He felt Sam stilling slightly.

"Yes. Just like that. Listen to my voice, Sam. Even if I can't be with you I need you. I can't keep going without you in this world. Even if I can't have you you'll always be my Moose. Please come back to me."

Sam finally stilled with his head leaning against Crowley's. Crowley nuzzled Sam's neck again and hummed into Sam's shoulder. It wasn't any real song, just a random tune he made up as he went along. Slowly Crowley began rocking them as he hummed.

"Crowley," Sam whispered.

"Shh, we're okay."

"Angels," Sam muttered.

"No, no angels anymore. Safe."

"Crowley?"

"Yes Sam?"

"Need you."

"I know. It's okay Sam."

Sam twisted slightly until he was sitting sideways in Crowley's lap and wrapped his arms around him. Crowley smiled and inhaled the scent of Sam's shampoo once again.

"Mmm, home?"

"I can only blink us within fifteen feet Sam."

"'S fine," Sam mumbled.

"I can't take the chair Sam."

"Comfortable," Sam complained snuggling into Crowley's chest.

Crowley smiled again. Reaching one arm under Sam's legs he stood. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Grab my shoulder."

Dean grabbed his shoulder and Crowley blinked them back to the bunker. Never had he been so glad to have his powers. He could lift Sam easily and blink them home instantly. Crowley paused. Home? Was the bunker home to him now? Looking down Crowley realized anywhere with Sam was home.