Don't ask why the twins have a computer in their room, it's not important. Also, I didn't play that much of Cat Mario, so I only put here what I could understand or manage to pass in the game.
Something important you should know: if you see -BZZT- at any part of the fic, It's supposed to act like a static transition.
Nothing belongs to me: Gravity Falls belongs to Alex Hirsch and the Disney Channel, and Cat Mario belongs to Cat Mario's developers.
Now, with that out of the way, read and enjoy!
(The Mystery Shack, Dipper and Mabel's Bedroom)
The face cam of a computer is turned on, and Dipper's face is seen, the boy wearing his normal clothing while also using a pair of headphones.
"Hello, viewers of the internet. My name is Dipper Pines." started Dipper, waving hello at the viewers as he clicks on the game and waits for it to start. "And I decided to record a little gameplay of this one "rage game" called Cat Mario."
It then changes to a normal recording of the game, with Dipper's face appearing in a small square on the top right of the screen, with the title screen being seen with the foreign words for start and something else.
"Now, just to get something clear: I normally use the recorder for more important stuff like investigations of the paranormal. However, everything has been really quiet and calm and quite frankly, besides feeling unnerved by the resulting atmosphere, I'm getting bored. So to entertain myself, and you, while I wait for something to happen, I'll do this video."
Dipper presses the first option, which turns out to be start. "Okay, nothing too bad outside of the fact that my character is a naked cat." remarked Dipper.
Dipper pushes the up key and his character jumps extremely high, landing just in time to collide with a white furball, killing him in the process. "Well, that's just great! Killed at the very beginning of the game!" remarked Dipper with a forced smile. "This will be so much fun! I can feel it!"
-BZZT-
"Okay, let's try this again, but with a different strategy."
Dipper jumps high enough to land on a platform too high for the fur balls to be a threat to him. "Ha! Sucks to be you, furballs! You can't get me from here!" mocked Dipper as the fur balls continue to go their way.
-BZZT-
After finally waiting until the white fur balls left, Dipper jumps off the platform he's in and walks until he's under a question block, jumping only to see the block going as high as it can immediately in response.
"Really? The block is going away from my character? What, did the two had a date that went horribly wrong or something?" voiced Dipper as his character jumps, trying to hit the block.
-BZZT-
Dipper returns to the platform and stands under a block, getting ready to jump and take whatever came out of it.
"Okay, since this is a normal block, It's gotta be a power up of some-" unfortunately Dipper screamed once he saw a white fur ball come out of the block, and his character soon collided with the fur ball, costing him a life. "Son of a block!"
-BZZT-
Dipper jumped on the verge of the platform and started to fall...only for a fish-like obstacle to come out of a green pipe and jump, hitting the cat and costing Dipper a life. "WHERE-HOW-WHY DID THAT COME FROM THERE?!"
-BZZT-
"Okay I'm guessing that...it's time for a game over, right?"
And then Dipper saw the restart seen, with the lives of his character now showing a "-1" in there. "-1?!...the game has no game over, am I right?"
-BZZT-
Dipper jumps at the edge of a path and then lands just before hitting another fur ball, jumping again to avoid touching it. "I saw you coming!"
Dipper then jumps on a question block, which releases a mushroom. "I saw you coming as well!" Dipper slowly walks to the mushroom to make sure he doesn't miss it. "Is it just me or am I getting good at this game?"
And then part of the platform fell and hit the cat, costing Dipper another life. "Thanks for answering my question, game. It was just me."
-BZZT-
"I don't know why, but I get the feeling that the longer I play this game, the more likely I'm going to hate cats by the time I reach the end of this episode." voiced Dipper. "And I don't plan to make anymore episodes, at least not about this game, because if I try to complete the entire fucking game I'm probably gonna lose my sanity. And I like to keep my-"
And then the cloud killed Dipper. "Shit!"
Realizing what he just said, Dipper coughs a bit and then corrects himself. "I mean, I like to keep my sanity intact."
-BZZT-
Dipper avoided the falling platform in time and started to continue the level once it was out of view. "Suck it, broken structure! I won't die by your hand again!" and then a fish fell from the sky! "OMG! FISH FROM THE SKY!"
Unfortunately Dipper couldn't stop his character on time and it collided with the fish, dying almost instantly. The boy's next statement practically defined what he was currently thinking. "Freaking fish!"
-BZZT-
Dipper got ready to jump, expecting the worst... "No! No! Don't mess with me! Don't fuck with me!"
And then a block suddenly appeared, causing Dipper to fall on the trap that was impossible to escape, as when Dipper tried to jump, blocks appeared and practically got him stuck. "...Fuck you, sky block!" cursed the boy as he fell on the bottomless pit.
-BZZT-
After managing to pass most of the level, Dipper jumps and lands near the top of a staircase-like pile of blocks...only for 4 fur balls to come out of the sky and land near him. As he panics, he suddenly finds himself inside the blocks, with the fur balls ignoring him and continuing forward.
Once they're gone, Dipper pushes up and he jumps, somehow freeing himself from...whatever just happened. "How did that happen?"
-BZZT-
Dipper continues on his way to the top, but as he gets closer to the edge a yellow line comes out of thin air and kills his character. "Great, even the flag wants me dead!"
-BZZT-
Dipper, this time, manages to bypass the yellow line and hit the flag, hearing victorious music as his character walks towards the building...and is then killed by a flying fish.
"It's official: when the game pulls out of it's butt something to kill you when you have already won, that's irrefutable evidence that the game truly hates you and wants you to die."
-BZZT-
"2nd Try." Dipper tries to jump high enough but not far enough to avoid the yellow line, but he does it too early and when he goes down the cat hits the line, costing him another life. "Rats."
-BZZT-
"3rd try." Dipper walks to the edge and gets killed by the yellow line instantly. "Son of a cloud!"
-BZZT-
"8th try." the same thing as the 3rd try happens, with the addition of Dipper voicing his frustration as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
-BZZT-
"14th try." Dipper jumps and manages to hit the flag, looking utterly deadpan as the same victory sequence happens and he dies by a flying fish. "Not surprised."
-BZZT-
"26th try." Dipper leaps and manages to avoid the yellow line, but he fails to get on the ledge in time and falls at the foot of the flag. "Great, I'm stuck."
-BZZT-
"35th Try." the boy jumps...and avoids the yellow line and then jumps again, succesfully avoiding the flag. "Oh my crap, I actually did it!"
Once he lands nearby, the flying fish comes down, with Dipper moving out of the way so he doesn't die. "Ha! In your face, fish! You missed me this time!" Dipper laughs victoriously as he waits for something to happen...and nothing does. "So what am I supposed to do now? Go to the black screen?"
Dipper walks to the mentioned screen, waits a few minutes and then walks out. "No that doesn't seem to do anything." he then walked to the building. "How about go inside the building?"
Dipper pushes up, and his character jumps. He then pushes down, but nothing of notice happens. He then walks to the door, and it doesn't open or anything. "Nope, not that either." "How about fall on that tiny bottomless pit?"
Dipper does so...and he dies. "Quite frankly, I'm more surprised about the fact that I actually expected that to work." remarked Dipper with a deadpan tone. "Well...I don't know what to do after this, so I get this is all for today's only episode. If you want me to play something else, and I would greatly appreciate it if the game was not a rage game, say it in your reviews and or comments."
"That's all for now. I hope you liked it, and I greet you farewell, everybody!"
The End