Skinny N Hosanna meet Frank N Furter
Don't own Rocky Horror and never will do, neither do I profit from spending countless hours writing fanfics about it.
1.
There was a knock at the door.
Riff Raff paused in the act of walking past the heavy front door and stared at it.
There was another knock. He twitched his thumbs idly in thought and glanced back up the stairs before arranging his face into a creepy welcoming smile and heaving open the door.
A fluffy TV microphone was pushed into his face and he stumbled back in surprise.
"Can I... help you?" He said, somewhat irritably, reaching up to push it aside. An anorexic looking woman with muddy blonde hair scraped back into a pony tail flounced in and stood smiling in front of a camera in the hallway.
"Hello and welcome to the newest exciting episode of 'What Not To Wear' with me, Skinny and-" At this a frumpier, blonder woman seemed to magically appear beside the other woman and gave the camera an insipid smile.
"-Hosanna" The other one continued. They stood there smiling expectantly at him.
"Oh."
Skinny blinked and gave a wider grin that reminded him of a crocodile before it snaps at its victim, before turning back to the camera. "We are here in the castle of a Mister…" here her fake-tanned forehead wrinkled in confusion and she looked at her producer who mouthed the name of Riff's employer, the illustrious Frank N. Furter, "a Mr. Frank N. Furter, to give him one of our extra special makeovers and sort out his fashion faux paus!"
Riff Raff looked back up the stairs, wondering how Frank would take the news that he'd committed a 'fashion faux paus', he wasn't quite sure what it was but if it incorporated another language it must be serious. With a jerky shrug he fell back on what he knew – he wrapped a bony hand around the edge of the door, leaned forwards with his creepiest smirk and intoned "I think perhaps you'd better bo- all… come inside…" in his most nasal voice. They did just that.
The two blondes walked backwards up the stairs, chittering excitedly to the camera the whole way with unimportant details, and pulling faces at the décor. Having nothing better to do, and thoroughly intrigued as to what reaction all this would provoke from Frank, Riff trailed after them.
There was a knock at Frank's laboratory door.
He jumped and dropped the test tube he had been clutching precariously in a fishnet-gloved fist to the floor, his make up encrusted eyelids fluttering closed as he heaved an irritated sigh.
"I told you I was not to be disturbed… How am I meant to discover the secret to life itself if you keep disturbing me…" He called out in annoyance. He was answered by another knock and heaving another sigh he went to the door and yanked it open, being greeted as Riff had with a face full of fluffy microphone.
"Omigawd! Would you look at that!" Hosanna cawed, darting past the other plastic woman to stare incredulously at Frank.
"You're being very unprofessional…" Skinny hissed, elbowing the woman in her considerably bulkier side and shutting her up for the moment.
Frank raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows impossibly high and glared haughtily at Riff Raff, silently demanding an explanation. The best the sharply-dressed hunchback could come up with was "Master… Master... We have a visitor."
"I can see that." Frank snapped in reply, eyeing up the women and camera crew invasion. Noticing that he could see his reflection in the whirring, mechanical beasts he pouted and fluffed up his hair, never having been one to miss the opportunity to preen.
Hosanna regained herself and what precious dignity she had had to begin with and flashed the camera an infamously insipid smile, dripping sincerity. "So here we are, in the castle of Mr. Furter, here to help him out. And boy does he need help…" She received another elbowing for this.
A camera swung round and pointed at Skinny, who ran anorexic fingers back through her hair (as if this could do something to improve the scraped back style she had been lumbered with…). "We came here on the information of a couple of close acquaintances of Frank's, who disclosed their concern about their friend's fashion sense and how he never seems to go out any more. But have no fear! We will give this poor man a make over and a new lease of life, lead him from the shadow of the valley of poor outfit choice and into fashion heaven!"
Frank twitched and paused in his preening, having entirely missed all that had been said. "Why are you lovely ladies here?" He smiled benignly, idly musing upon the thought that he may have found some new playmates.
"To help you out!" Hosanna beamed at him.
"Oh, really?" He chuckled; scrunching his nose up in what he thought was an irresistibly cute way at them. This was accompanied by a wink to his manservant, who merely shook his head.
The two women set to work, circling the sweet transvestite and making highly personal comments about his attire. He let out a gasp as he was suddenly grabbed in a place that was highly inappropriate for someone he had only just met. "Oh really!" He exclaimed, eyes widening.
"And this corset… it just doesn't suit a person of your… calibre… we're going to have to throw all these things away," Skinny tutted, cupping his non-existent breasts and giving them what he could only describe as a sensual massage.
"And these fishnet suspenders… so passé," Hosanna complained, pulling at said fishnet suspenders. "And they're all holey! No wonder you're too embarrassed to go out much."
Dr. Frank N. Furter was no longer enjoying himself, in fact he now considered himself to be having a terrible time. These strange women were too rough, they didn't play nicely and they kept making offensive comments about his precious clothing. Well, he didn't have to stand for this!
"Really… You're just too rude. Go away now." He sniffed haughtily at them, flapping petulantly at their probing hands.
To his immense surprise they didn't go away. Instead, before he had even realised what was happening he had been stripped down to his lacy lingerie and dressed in clothing that was entirely alien to him. Maybe he should have just stayed in bed this morning…