A/N: I know it's been done a thousand million times before, but here goes…

( Ideas would be nice.) Chapter 2 is up!

The Hitchhiker's Guide To Random Stuff

Entry ID: 1254256790: Newspapers.

Newspapers are a, widely obsolete, method of getting information. Even on primitive worlds, the newspaper has been replaced by the tri-d TV, but on three backwards worlds the term newspaper is still used.

The first is a small planet in the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy called Earth.

Theirs are made out of 'paper' , a very backwards version of ultra-megilon writing implement. It is made from trees.

The second is a planet called poofle. The Poofle Shnucks, who live on poofle, have always failed to make any advance, simply because they are terribly pessimistic. The entire population would empty a glass of Jynnan tonix just to prove the glass is not only half empty, but fully empty.

Their main advance in life was to create the newspaper, as a way of stating every single possible bad thing that could happen. Luckily, they can never spread their misery, because they forgot to develop food. Unluckily, they breed before they die, so their race will last until Milliways closes.

Entry ID: 1290874555930167843209: Ties

Ties, on most planets have been banned. The story has been mostly lost in the mists, hail and rain of time. But here is an 87.986 truthful account.

On the planet Poofle, the highly pessimistic Shnucks were at a meeting. The president of the galactic happiness patrol was about to give a speech, which, if delivered, would change their race forever. A great hush followed.

" My… My…" The president turned blue.

" MY TIE IS ON TOO TIGHT!" He cried with a last effort. He then died in a puff of improbability.

The poofle Shnucks then had a revolutionary idea. There would be nothing to be pessimistic out if they destroyed it all. And so they began on their rampage( although most of them thought it could never work) and wiped out so much that they have only been matched by the Krikkit Wars.

Their rampage was ended, because they realized that they had to destroy themselves as well.