A/N: I was sick. I wrote this. Enjoy! In case you don't know, Arbor Day is a day about trees. Helping them, I'm pretty sure.

Arbor Day

"Prongs?"

"Yes, Padfoot?" James Potter turned to look at his oldest friend, a smirk on his face.

"Why are there tree on the ceiling?" James shrugged and grinned slightly.

"It's Arbor Day." He responded. Sirius raised an eyebrow at this.

"Isn't Arbor Day about saving trees, versus plastering them on the ceiling?" Sirius inquired.

"Just wait," James said, "You haven't even seen the best part yet." Suddenly, a loud bang similar to thunder rumbled through the Entrance Hall. Concerned murmurs spread throughout the students. What was that? There was another bang, smaller in scale, but just as menacing. Then the trunks of quite a few trees split open. The students glanced up.

Things were falling.

Gnomes?

Falling gnomes.

The trunks had spilt, and wee little plastic garden gnomes – the muggle variety – had been charmed to run around. Some had tiny garden implements, and were jabbing the still stunned students in the legs.

Sirius turned to look at James admiringly.

"I love you." Sirius said.

"So do I." James responded smugly, reaching down and plucking a small plastic man from the ground. It struggled in his grip, baring tiny teeth at him. James stroked his head, smiling at it.

"I think this one shall be called Elvendork."

"Nice name." Sirius said approvingly. "It's unisex." James nodded in confirmation.

"'Cause we don't know if it's a he-gnome or a she-gnome."

The sound of laughter drew their attention away from Elvendork, who was now jabbing James in the hand, trying fruitlessly to earn it's freedom. The boys turned to see what the all the hullabaloo was about. They seemed to be staring at a large pile of swarming gnomes, looking similar to a group of ants on a discarded sandwich.

Sirius turned to look at James, one eyebrow raised, as if asking 'what's all this about?'

James shrugged, looking overly innocent. Sirius looked at him with distinct suspicion for several moments before returning his attention to the current spectacle.

Unexpectedly, a hand shot up out of the mass of gnomes. It began ripping them off of his, what was now obvious as, body. He hurled one against a wall, the head smashing in.

"NO!" James howled forlornly, "My baby!" He cried, rushing forward and cradling the dying gnome in his arms. It viciously jabbed his arm him a spade a few times – each time growing weaker and feebler – until it was finally still. James fell to his knees, still holding the gnomes in his arms. "It's name… it's name was Wilberforce…" Sirius came up behind him and clapped a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

"You should never name them, mate. Then you get attached."

By this point in time, the gnome covered boy was now the formerly gnome covered boy.

Severus Snape stood up, grabbing one last gnome clinging to his greasy hair and tossing it aside.

"NO!" James cried again. "Bathsheba!"

Snape rolled his eyes and glared at the pair. He drew his wand and leveled it at them, eyes narrowed. "Gits."

James harrumphed, offended.

"That was revenge for making Sirius's hair pink, and then non-existent!" James shouted.

"Really?" Sirius asked. "All this… for me?" He looked ecstatic, a wide grin plastered on his face. James nodded; he now had his wand out and had it pointing at Snape. Tears welled up in Sirius's eyes. "This… this is the best thing anyone's ever done for me!" He wailed. "And my hair!" He added.

Snape rolled his eyes again.

"He got what was coming to him," he sneered at the pair.

James laughed at him. He looked at the now-forgotten gnomes, milling around everyone's feet. He pointed at Snape.

"ATTACK!" The gnomes instantly sprang into action, covering the boy again. He gave out a very girlish shriek and fell over. Sirius threw an arm around James's shoulder.

"You're my best friend." Sirius stated, now guiding James away from the massacre and towards the Great Hall – where there was food.

"I know." James grinned cockily.

"You know I love you, Prongsie."

"As you should."

A/N: I stole the gnome's names from JKR's little story thing she did with James and Sirius. :D

Sirius's hair going pink then non-existent was from one of my other one-shots (there's a lot) called The Shower Cap Of True and Utter Evilness.

I don't think of it as slash, in case you're wondering. I tell my friends I love them all the time. Remus and Peter weren't there cause I like James and Sirius more. :)