"Abby what are you doing?" Ziva was puzzled as Abby fiddled with her equipment while wearing a furtive look on her face.
"I just don't trust those FBI girls around our boys. So I set up a way to keep an eye on them." Abby beamed while Ziva smirked. Ziva too had some reservations about the interactions between the five of them. Or to be more specific Tony and the three female agents assigned to the cross jurisdictional case
"So you have the FBI team who are working with Tony and McGee on a joint surveillance operation ……under surveillance?"
'Shssshhh I think I have them." Abby fiddled further and suddenly the voices of the three female FBI agents they were currently co-working with came online.
"Oh come on Barbara! You've heard DiNozzo flirting his head off for the last three days. He practically told us he was going to be having a shower. He is expecting us to take a peek. In fact I'm sure he's in there right now working on a little show just for us. Come on. Would be a shame to disappoint him."
Karen wheedled while they heard chairs scrape and movement about the room.
"I just think were going to get into trouble for this somehow. I mean he's a co worker and you want to peek at him in the bathroom?"
"I repeat. He told us when he was going to be having a shower. He asked us about our surveillance equipment. He asked about how it handles viewing through steam! He was singing 'Got to wash this FBI right out of his hair' this morning. This is DiNozzo we are talking about. Subtlety is not one of his strong points. Come on you have got to be curious? "
Abby and Ziva laughed and shook their heads as they heard the women discussed Tony. Oh Yeah they were totally going to be having a chat when Tony got back to the office.
There was more noise and movement as the woman apparently moved positions, scraping chairs and jostling.
"There he is. See? I told you. He's just coming out of the shower now."
"Squeeze up I can't see back there."
"I thought you didn't want to look?"
"Well since you both are already, one more can't really be any worse can it?"
There was the sound of women's' laughter over further shuffling and scaping as they jostled for position.
Abby and Ziva laughed as they heard the appreciative hums and sighs coming from the women on the other end of the line.
"Well would you look at that! A tattoo! He has a tatt on his ass!"
Abby's eyes flew open and Ziva tried to smoother a laugh
"And HELLO Agent McGee"
"No way!"
"Come and have a look if you don't believe me!"
"It's always the quiet ones."
"Wow. I mean WOW. He is packing some serious heat."
Abby spoke horrified over the hand over her mouth. "McGee will freak if he finds out"
"I'm sure he will cover up and it will be just a glimpse." They waited and listened while the women on the other end started into a long and very detailed description of Tim's' attributes.
Abby glanced at Ziva and quickly muted the sound. She already knew what naked Tim looked like but she was fairly sure McGee would prefer it to remain a mystery to his fellow team members. Especially Ziva.
"That's it Sweetie, froth up that foam."
"That's it nice and slow now…"
"Move over! Let me have a look."
Ziva looked thoughtful. "It doesn't sound like he's going anywhere soon. If we tell him he will be so embarrassed and Barbara and the others will be officially reprimanded for something that Tony set up. Can we tell him to cover up without letting him know that someone is watching him?
Tim stepped out of the shower and rolled his shoulders. Finally. He was sure DiNozzo was putting on some sort of floor show the amount of time he spent in here. He had been worried Tony wouldn't leave him any hot water so he had resorted to pounding on the door until Tony finally swept out with a suspicious grin on his face.
Tim had promptly checked the remaining few dry towels Tony hadn't soaked or left on the floor or suspended from the ceiling….(what had he been doing in here?) for creepy crawly or squelchy things.
He then proceeded to check the bathroom for exploding soap. And any suspicious things in the shampoo. And then triple locked the door before finally allowing himself to peel off his dusty sweaty clothes with a deep sigh.
Sitting in those tiny metal chairs for hours on end in that sweltering hot still room listening to Tony compare the hotness rating of the FBI agents yet again was enough to drive him mad. He could feel the sweat trickling down his back, dampening his shirt. His eyes were tired and itchy and he had needed a shave for what felt like days although was probably only a few hours.
It felt so great to be clean again. Freshly washed nice smelling hair, scrubbed face and hands, even his toes were clean. He was beginning to feel like a real person again instead of some underappreciated Government recording device
He stood at the basin naked and lathered up his face to give himself a nice smooth shave. Who knows when he would be able to have a few minutes peace to himself and he intended to luxuriate in them as much as possible.
It was with a massive sigh of regret that he answered his ringing phone, placed neatly on top of his pile of clothes. Now what?
"Hey Abb's, can I help you with anything?"
"Hey McGee. Nope just thought I would say hello. I'm testing out my psychic powers."
"Ahh Ok"
"Aren't you interested in what I'm testing out?"
Tim resisted the huge urge to sigh down the phone. "Fine. What are you testing out?"
"I am sensing that you are….. naked"
Tim tensed and looked down at the phone suspiciously.
"Am I right?"
Tim's hand crept out and picked up a towel and wrapped it around his waist.
Abby heard the quiet chorus of disappointed moans and complaints coming through the speakers.
"Are you watching me??" Tim was suspicious as he carefully snuck a glance around the room.
"I can categorically say without a word of a lie that….. No I am not watching you McGee. I just had this sense that you were naked and I thought I would ask. You know test out the theory. So was I right?"
"Ummm well yes I was."
"And now your not?"
"Not completely." Tim gripped his towel nervously around his waist.
"Come on just drop the little towel, there's a good Special Agent…."
"Who do you think he's speaking to?"
"Let's see……"Abby knew exactly what he was wearing but she didn't want to make him too suspicious.
"Are you wearing ….nothing but a pair of boxers?"
Tim released his breath. Phew. Ok Abby had pulled some weird stuff on him before but this was making him nervous.
"Ah no. Close but …"
"Wait, Wait….just. a T-Shirt?" Abby rubbed her temples getting into character, smiling into the phone as she sensed McGee relax.
"No. Now can I go and finish getting dressed now?"
"Yup. Just wanted to check. So it seems to work but it might need some fine tuning…. Ok. Just make sure you get dressed. And by the way I will know if you don't!" Abby laughed and hung up the phone leaving Tim to consider possibly the strangest conversation he had ever had.
He left it for a moment considering quietly and then he phoned Abby back.
"Abby?"
"Hey McGee"
"Um this sense of yours, do you have it with everyone or just with me? I mean can you sense when Tony's naked?"
Abby laughed "Just you Timmy. Just you."
Tim couldn't help but smile to himself.
"Ah ok then. Bye."
Tim stood alone in the bathroom and considered Abby far away alone in her lab. What if she could tell when he was naked? Maybe it was a lucky guess or she was just messing with his head but still……
It had been a while since he had been 'ogled' and he smiled at the thought of Abby thinking about him, naked. She certainly didn't seem to think it was a bad thing?
Tim considered for a moment and then let the towel slip slowly from his hips. Lathering up his face, grinning to himself he leaned in towards the mirror to continue his shave.
Let her sense that!
Abby and Ziva stared at the computer as a chorus of whoops and hollers started up.
"Yeah. That's it baby. You don't need that tiny towel. Its far to hot to bother with that!"
"Now I have to say he does have a great ass!"
"He certainly looks pleased about something?"
Abby rolled her eyes while Ziva burst out laughing.
"And you guys think Tony is an exhibitionist! Well that's the last time I try and save McGee from some embarrassment. If he wants an audience he can have one!"
Ziva just laughed until the tears rolled down her face.