Disclaimer: I do Not own any of Digimon characters.
A/N: A re-post
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Kouichi's P.O.V
I'm laying on my bed, breathing deeply. I suppose it's late at night. The other bed in the room is empty He is not here yet, which I'm thankful for.
I don't want to worry about when he will be here. I just wish for this moment to freeze. A moment where 'he' is not in the picture.
The moon light pierced through the window, calling me to go take a look at it. I shifted myself off the bed and went towards the window to get a better view of the full moon.
The moon would always mean beautiful feelings to people. Sometimes romantic , sometimes they just love it's beauty, other times it would mean a light to them. However, I see how cruel it is. True it shined, but it forced everything around it to disappear. The stars that was once there are gone, or a part of their brightness got taken, and there, the moon stays lonely. True it middles the sky with all it's glory, but still so lonely.
I leaned on the wall next to the window, tilting my head up, looking at the ceiling while taking a deep breath. I touched my cheek with two of my finger tips, pressing on it lightly. I winced at how it stung. Looks like the bruise from two nights ago didn't vanish yet.
Just how did things turn out this way? I held the necklace I was wearing around my neck as if it was going to answer me. My father told me it's for my mother. He said she died right after giving birth to me. She gave me life, yet she lost her life.
I lived with my father. Just the two of us for my whole life. Well, until a month ago. I can say my life was peaceful at that time. I'm 17 now. I moved with my father into a new place. He said I'll get a mother. She was a woman he met in a business trip. He said they got married in another country since he always travels. It was so sudden, I haven't heard anything about marriage plans, yet I felt happy when I knew she has a son. The same age as mine. 'Maybe I don't have to live alone anymore. My father was barely around' That's what I thought.
It's been a month since we moved here. This month felt the longest in my whole life.
Kouji, my new brother. He is always calm. He has that scary aura around him, but something about him made me want to get closer to him, to know him better, but he'd always get more mysterious than ever.
My desire to know more about him disappeared that night. Three weeks ago, when all the abuse started. When my body was covered in bruises thanks to him, and this bruise on my cheek is no difference. It's from the same fist. His fist.
A shiver went down my spine as I heard the door get opened, and it wasn't a shiver from the coldness of the weather.
He stepped into the room, looking as calm as ever. I could never know what he's thinking of, or expect what he was going to do. All I knew is, he's going to hurt me soon or later.
Strangely, he just laid there on the bed, not bothering to look at me. As I took a better look at him, I noticed that his top was ripped, and his jeans were covered in dust.
I got closer to him although I was trembling. I just wanted to tell him to at least change before sleeping. I knew his mother. Well, our mother now will get upset with him if she came and saw him sleeping in these cloth. She'll know he got into some sort of a fight again. I know very well that he was fighting somewhere, but I don't want him to get into troubles at home too. Honestly, I have no idea why I care. I just do.
"Kouji, change into something else. Mother will get angry " I said, keeping my voice still.
He looked at me. Just his gaze felt like a strike of fear to me. He got up and stepped forward, glaring at me. I stepped back. He kept coming towards me. I kept going back 'till I collided to the wall behind me. I saw him staring at my chest. I knew what he was staring at. I rushed to hide the necklace within my shirt. I don't know why, but I felt something snap within him whenever he sees the necklace.
I wasn't quick enough to hide it. It was too late, he already saw it.
He shifted his sight to meet my eyes. I stopped breathing.
"Why, why do you keep it?" He said in the voice that was rarely ever heard from him. He barely talks.
"I… I need it.." I said, trying to keep my voice normal.
In a swift movement, he snatched it off of my neck roughly. The chain of it grazed my neck, but that wasn't the least I cared about.
"Give it back! Kouji!" I didn't expect my voice to come out this loud.
I felt a strong strike hit me. He slapped me so hard to the extent I fell to the floor, feeling my ear ringing. I held my stinging cheek . Tears piling up in my eyes. My voice trembled, but I still begged for my necklace
"Please, give it back. It`s all I've got left from her"
"You can forget about it" He said in his usual voice, the cold-heartedly one.
I got up on my feet, trying to get it back, but he pushed me, making me fall back and collide to wall. My back ached, but not more than my heart. It felt like a part of me was snatched away. He left the room. Each step of his squeezing my heart more.
No, I wasn't going to accept that. I went after him to try to get it back again. I pulled his arm to stop him. He yanked his arm out of my grip roughly, making me stumble backwards. He turned to face me.
"Do you want it? Then come get it" Kouji said, and quickened his steps, heading out of the house. I ran after him in the street. My feet were bare. The cold breeze slapped against my skin. My head was still spinning from that slap, but that didn't matter at all. All that mattered is to get the most precious thing back to me!
He stopped in front of a river. I questioned why we were there, then it got to me. He'll throw it in the river! No, he can't do that !
His hand rose up in the air. I ran to stop him. I gripped his arm. He yanked it from me again, and I fell on the ground, my face hitting the ground hard.
*blup* voice was heard. I stopped breathing.
It can't be… It just can't... Did he throw it?! In the river?!
"What have you done?!" I yelled, my voice cracked.
He just walked away as if nothing happened.
I got up, tears blurring my vision, but that wasn't the time for tears. I had to find it. Even if it takes forever. I had to find it!
I got into the water. It was so freezing cold, but I didn't care.
I have no idea how much time I was searching. All I knew is that sunlight could reach me now. I stopped, desperate, defeated. How could I ever find it in a river?! I got my drenched legs out of water. My feet felt too heavy to move although I was feeling really light. I walked back home. The ears on my eyes refused to fall. I was too drained to cry.
Kouji, I'm the biggest idiot in the world, and to think I cared for you… is just… dumb. You're the worst. The worst ever. I'll never forget this. Unforgivable !
I swallowed the hate and the anger I felt. It hurt. It hurt so much to swallow this misery. I really can't take it. Mom. I'm sorry, so sorry. I'M not a good son. Even after your death.
A tear could finally roll down as my feet gave up on me, and I leaned on the wall, sliding down into a sitting position, crying silently. It felt like all of the strength left on me was transferred into crying.
"Are you alright?" I heard a woman's voice, but I didn't really response. I don't know for how long I was crying, but I had no energy anymore to shed a tear despite the pain in my chest.
Everything seemed so unreal. How can the sun shine so brightly when I'm drowning in this pathetic life? How can the birds sing so happily when I'm lost in sorrow? How can this woman care, when nobody does?! Yes, she really seemed like one of my fantasies. She IS a fantasy.
She got closer, and shook me, holding my shoulder, then I felt her touch on my forehead. God! Her hand felt so gentle!
"Oh god. You're burning!" She said, and stopped a taxi, taking me somewhere.
I wondered if my mom was this caring. I mumbled her name once more, placing my hand where the necklace 'used to be'. I closed my eyes. The movement of the car, the worried voice next to me, none of that mattered. It was all a mere fantasy.