Hey everyone! I know it's been forever since I've posts/updated anything but my laptop broke and I just got a new one today! This story is AU (no A but Alison still lied 24/7 haha) The plot is Alison is bisexual and Emily is aware of it (they're about 18 years old) Alison wants to be with Emily, and has told her this, but has been openly hooking up with a bunch of guys at school in attempt to cover up her true feelings so that she wouldn't lose her popularity. This is just a angsty(ish) oneshot based off One Direction's new song Infinity because it kind of makes me think of Emison... anyways hope you like it! Xx
Alison threw her head back as she drained the last little bit of alcohol in the flask she was currently holding. How did she get here? She went from Queen Bee who had everything she ever wanted to this. Whatever 'this' was. She sat in the middle of a field, gazing drunkenly at the gorgeous galaxy of stars above her. She had arrived here at about 6:00 that evening, tired and hurting. Lately there had been one thing on her mind and one thing only; Emily Fields. She squeezed her eyes shut at the thought of the brunette. All she wanted was to tell Emily everything. She wanted to hold her and apologize again and again for everything she'd ever done. Instead of following her heart and making things right, she had listened to her clouded head and stayed far away from Emily. She sat in the dirt and drew tiny shapes in it with her fingers. Gazing up, she took in how beautiful the night sky was. She tried to count them all, starting with the first one she saw but eventually losing count as there were too many to keep track of. Billions of stars filled it, but none shone as bright as her girl. She looked into the empty metal flask and made up her mind rather hazily. She stumbled to her feet, almost falling backwards in the process, and got into her truck, which was also parked in the field with her. Some part of her mind screamed at her for drinking and driving, but the more important part of her screamed get to Emily at all costs.
She shifted the clutch and barreled off towards the freeway, silently thanking the gods for the lack of traffic at this undesirable hour. She rolled down her windows drove in silence, the fresh air helping to sober her up. As the wind blew against her face, tears stung behind her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. She pounded her fist against the steering wheel once, twice, and finally a third time. How could she have been so fucking stupid? She went against anything she ever stood for, trashed any morals she ever had… and for what? She hurt Emily over and over again, mindlessly hooked up with dozens of guys and it was all for nothing because no drug, no boy, or no amount of alcohol could ever erase the love she had for Emily from her mind. Soon enough she was haphazardly pulling into Emily's driveway, grateful that her mom was visiting her dad in Texas and wouldn't catch her drinking and driving.
She turned off the headlights and climbed out, a bit unbalanced at first but for the most part sobered up. She jogged around to the backyard and threw the fence open. She knew Emily would have every door bolted shut, and Alison couldn't risk waking her up. She just had to see her, even if it was while she was asleep. Alison was terrified that once Emily woke up she would throw her out of her house, so Alison knew she had to be stealthy… at least for a little while. She went into the shed and grabbed the tallest ladder she could find. She soon realized the short girls don't mix with tall ladders, and the bottom portion slid into the concrete floor with a bang. The blonde cringed and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the porch light to snap on and Emily to come outside, livid at whoever was breaking into her shed. Two minutes passed and not a single motion came from Emily's house or any of the houses around them. Alison slowly relaxed her face and opened her eyes. Using all of her strength she heaved the ladder out of the shed and onto the grass, where she proceeded to drag it over to Emily's window. She gingerly pushed it up against the side of the house and began to climb. About the fourth rung up she gulped and took a deep breath. Heights had never really been her forte, but Emily was worth every second of crippling anxiety. She slowly crept up the ladder until she got to Emily's window, never daring to look down. She reluctantly released her death grip on the ladder so that she could retrieve the pocket knife from her jacket. She slipped the blade up under Emily's window and jimmied it open as quietly as she could. About ten minutes later she had the window fully open and had climbed inside.
She perched herself on the window seat and took in the sight of her sleeping mermaid. She hadn't seen Emily this peaceful in months. Ever since Alison had admitted her feelings, Emily had been constantly stressed out. She couldn't grasp the fact that Alison loved her, but was too ashamed to be with her. Alison had assured her time and time again that it wasn't about being ashamed of her, but rather about how she wasn't ready to accept herself. Emily had understood, but refused to wait around and be Alison's little secret. Every time the blonde and brunette saw each other it always ended up turning into World War 3, and Alison knew this time would be no different. She watched Emily's chest rise and fall and tears came out from behind her eyes. First it was one, then three, and soon enough she had to put her sleeve to her mouth to muffle her sobs. She loved Emily so much and hated herself for every second of misery she had caused the beautiful girl in front of her. She went to Emily's side of the bed and sat down cross-legged on the floor beside her. Emily looked adorable as she nuzzled her pillow in her sleep, and Alison had to shove her head between her knees to keep her violent cries at bay. She longed to reach up and cup the brunette's cheek; to kiss her until she was breathless and she fully understood how sorry Alison was for everything she'd ever done.
Emily shifted in her sleep and her eyes fluttered open to reveal Alison violently rocking back and forth on the floor in front of her with her face tucked into her knees. Emily sat up a little as her eyes adjusted and she glanced at the clock. It wasn't even 2:00 yet, but here Alison was; completely unaware that the brunette had woken up.
"Ali?" she whispered, careful not to startle the emotional girl beside her.
Alison's head shot up and her eyes had a defeated look in them.
"Emmy," she sobbed out, sitting up on her knees and cupping the brunette's face in both of her hands, "Emmy I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I've ever done. Please forgive me Emily I love you. I love you so much," she choked out, collapsing back onto the ground in a fit of erratic sobs.
"Ali it's okay, you don't have anything to be sorry about. Come up here and talk to me, please. I don't like seeing you like this," she moved over and made a spot for Alison, who was still crying.
Alison tried to calm herself down before she tried to explain herself to Emily. The brunette slipped the blonde's jacket off of her shoulders and pulled her in close. She rubbed small circles on her back while her sobs slowed to just a few sniffles. Alison took a deep breath and pulled back. She avoided looking into Emily's eyes, because she knew that she would start off crying again.
"Emily, I am so sorry. I know how much I hurt you and I can't even stand to look at myself. I don't love anyone except you, Emmy. None of those boys I was with ever meant anything. You're the only one I feel things for Emily, and I'm ready. I'm so ready to let myself love you. Please say you're ready to love me back. I can't live without loving you. I just can't do it."
Emily tilted Ali's chin up to meet her eyes. She quickly glanced at her lips and back to her eyes before pulling back and looking down at her comforter.
"Why now Ali? Why are you breaking into my house in the middle of the night to tell me that? I've been saying that to you for MONTHS Alison. Months! And you come in here now and just expect me to rush into your arms? I told you I wasn't going to wait around for you anymore. I meant it, I'm not the same girl I was when we were fourteen. I have real feelings too."
Alison's eyes welled up with fresh tears when she heard the coldness behind Emily's voice, knowing she had caused that. She was the reason her mermaid was so guarded by walls and she would never forgive herself for it.
"Because I couldn't waste another second without you. I meant it when I said I loved you, and nothing is going to stand in my way because you're the only one I want. Forever. I just can't stand the thought of you being in any kind of pain because of me, Emily. I'm so ready to be the cause of your happiness… not the reason for your constant pain. I can see it behind your eyes. You don't deserve any of it."
"Do you know how it felt, Alison? Every night you would disappear to go to some random guy's house for a hookup that meant nothing to you. All you were trying to do was deny your feelings for me so that you could be 'normal'. You never answered your calls or texts and I used to lie awake every night, only hoping that you were okay. That's all I ever had to hold onto was hope. Ali I love you so much and I was always there for you. All I ever asked from you was the truth. I just wanted you to admit to yourself I wasn't just some phase and that I actually meant something to you. But you couldn't even manage that! You left me here in misery, Alison. I don't know how easy it'll be to forgive that."
"Emily I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can say… I'll say anything. I should've stayed. I should've been here in this room every night, protecting you. I was so stupid and I promise I will never forgive myself for that, but let me make it up to you… please. Let me be here for you now. All I want is you! I love you and I'm ready to be everything you need me to be. Please Emmy… just give me a chance to give you everything you deserve from me. I've wasted so much time already… let me love you forever now. Let me be your infinity, Em."
Emily looked into Alison's blue eyes that still shone with unshed tears, identical to her own.
"You really mean all of that Ali? You want to be my forever?"
"More than anything else in the universe," she said before she leaned forward and captured Emily's lips in a firm, yet gentle kiss. Emily reciprocated and cupped Alison's cheek, pulling her in closer. When they broke apart, Emily rested her forehead against Alison's and smiled. Alison rubbed circles on her cheek and smiled back.
"I'll always be your inifinty, Ali."