Tony sighed and rolled his eyes. McGee was with the blue alien again. Seriously that boy was going to get himself into some sort of trouble Tony wouldn't even recognize if he wasn't careful.
Tony was fairly sure that the alien was a woman, a beautiful (in an exotic sort of a way), seemingly naked (if you didn't count the scales or ridges and translucent fabric she wore) and bright cobalt blue (which softened into several different shades of sky and baby blue depending on which part of her you were looking at)
McGee had assured him that her scales were actually very soft to the touch and felt more like feathers but Tony had decided he didn't really want to know.
They had already been stuck here for two weeks in the Intergalactic Law Enforcement Exchange Program (or I-LEEP) and they had another two earth weeks to go.
It was kind of cool in a strange sort of a way but Tony was ready to go home. He was sure the cases would be backing up back home and the novelty was starting to wear thin. He wanted to watch television on his couch in his apartment with a half cold greasy pizza and think about flirting with Ziva. Everything here was a little too perfect for him and it battered his confidence to see how little use what he knew was to the future.
McGee on the other hand seemed to be having the time of his life. Wide eyed and sticking his head into everything he could, he seemed to disappear for hours at a time. And generally wherever he reappeared the blue alien was somewhere close by.
Tony sighed. He thought it was about time he had a little chat to McGee about the potential dangers of intergalactic fraternization. Hell did they even have bird and bees on the planet where she came from?
Tony slipped across to the bar in 10 Forward where McGee was ordering drinks from Guinan. Guinan smiled at Tony serenely and went off to make the drinks, giving them a moment of peace before Tony had even asked for it.
"McGee? I think we need to have a little chat about your blue friend there. What's her name?"
Tim turned and smiled at Tony "She told me and it's completely unpronounceable so I call her" at this Tim sorted of shifted embarrassed in his seat before continuing "Smurfette"
Tony just laughed "Seriously Smurfette? That's what you thought of?"
Tim shrugged "Well she is female and blue. What else was I going to call her? Besides she likes it. She thinks it's interesting."
Tim smiled happily and Tony rolled his eyes again.
"Ok this is what I want to talk to you about. I think you might need to be a bit careful with Blue there. I don't have to be an expert on alien behavior to see that she likes you."
At that moment Guinan returned with McGee's order of drinks, a rather violent purple fizzing foaming drink and what looked suspiciously like a normal coke float complete with ice cream and bendy straw.
Tim looked thoughtful "Do you know that when she touches me its like my skin tingles?" He turned to Guinan worried "That's not like radiation or anything is it?" Tim asked worried about all his recent exposure while Guinan smiled.
She liked this Timothy McGee, he was intelligent and naive in all the wrong places.
"Oh no, that just means she likes you. You're a lucky man. She's an Azurious. She could make your eyes roll back into your head from across the room if she wanted. Of course you would have to Bond first, for her to have that sort of link to you."
Tony couldn't help but be fascinated "Errh ….Bond?'
Guinan just gave that serene smile again " I suppose the human equivalent would be sex, but still just the fact that she likes you will give you effects you might find disconcerting at first. And the more time you spend with her the more of an effect she will be able to have on you"
Worf, the Klingon Security Officer stood next to Tony by the bar and took an interest in the conversation.
"Your friend should be careful. It can be dangerous for a woman to have a hold on a man like that."
He spoke as a good security office should, carefully but his eyes watched the beautiful empath Deanna Troy as she moved through 10 Forward. She felt his affection and turned and smiled at him resulting in Worf turning away with a low growl. He snatched up his drink from the bar and stalked off.
That brought Tony neatly back to the topic of conversation and he motioned for Guinan to stay in case he needed her help to explain… well whatever it was.
"Ok McGee. She likes you. Big time. Ok first she is a woman right?" McGee shot him a dirty look while Guinan inclined her head with a smile.
"Ok good start. Well it might have slipped your notice but she is blue. Not blue hair rinse blue but B L U E."
"What do you have a problem with Blue people now Tony?" McGee frowned up at him
"No I do not have a problem with Blue people McGee." Tony couldn't believe he was having this conversation. Where in the appropriate political correctness regulations did this fit?
He sighed and started again, wondering how Gibbs would have handled this conversation.
"I merely mention it to highlight the fact that she isn't human. And you don't seem to have the hang of the whole reading signals and understanding men and woman back home let alone between a geek and a… a …..whatever she is."
"Azurious."
McGee was wearing his stubborn look and the crease in between his eyebrows had reappeared when suddenly he looked up at Tony embarrassed.
"Are we having the conversation I think were having?" McGee looked horrified.
"And what conversation is that McGee?"
Tim blushed and chewed on his lip a bit before answering "You know the whole be careful son, don't get the alien pregnant speech."
Tony laughed "Well I don't think I ever got that conversation from my Dad but you get the idea. Just be careful and don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Ok well since I have no idea what it is you would or wouldn't do and I have no idea even how Smurfette and I would even…….. you know, then I think that keeps me pretty safe."
McGee smiled again while Guinan patted his hand. So young this one.
Suddenly the topic of the conversation returned to McGee's side. Her hair, or so Tony considered the long strands on her head which had been a dark flat navy blue shimmered with sparkles and lightened to a pale pastel blue as she came closer to McGee.
"Timothy" she breathed in her thick musical rolling accent.
Tim smiled. He loved how she said his name. No one at home seemed to even bother to use his name but she said it like it was the most interesting and exotic sounding name in the world. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as she looked at him and smiled.
Tim handed her the coke float while he happily slurped on his purple liquid confection.
"I like this drink. Timothy" Blue smiled again and Tony could practically feel his molecular structure lean towards the attraction she seemed to be throwing McGee's way. Oh Boy.
McGee peeled his eyes away from Blue for an instant. "Did you want to come with us to the holodeck? Smurfette wants to see what it is like where we work, you know what NCIS looks like, the Bullpen. She thinks it sounds exotic."
Tim laughed at the idea of computers which didn't respond to voice instructions and boring cubicles, seeming exciting and interesting.
"Ah no McGee I think I'll pass. But remember what I said and be careful" Tony tried to look stern and only just stopped himself from wagging his finger in McGee's direction.
McGee blushed while Blue exclaimed in delight "You change color! Timothy"
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
It was now a week after they had returned to NCIS and things finally seemed to be returning to normal. Tony was delighted but McGee seemed a little lost after his trip. After all the wonders he had seen he was finding it a bit hard to adjust back to his old life.
"So you don't miss any of the friends you made Tony?" Ziva teased, glad to have her partner back. She didn't want to admit it but it seemed pretty quiet without Tony around.
Tony smiled "Oh I think of them now and then, but I'm glad to be home"
Just then McGee sighed, a beatific smile across his face, his eyes rolled up into his head and he slumped boneless to the floor.
Tony sighed and tried to keep the smile off his face.
"Well I know whose thinking about McGee right about now."
(
(I know what was I thinking? Just had to get it out of my head.)