I do not own Merlin.
Her Light in the Darkness
Chapter 1 - The Return
The forest trees were all to familiar to him now. It was probably the hundredth time he's ventured through the same woods this past year. It seemed almost hopeless, but Merlin wasn't planning on letting go of the fact that she might still be out there.
Uther surely hasn't gave up. He's sent his men to scavenge every inch of the land plenty of times.
Many have gave up hope that she's even still alive, but the few who loved her remained loyal to the idea of her coming back.
"I said I do," he intertwined their fingers. "I love you."
She cast her eyes down to cover her blush, and bit her lip. "Do you really?"
"More than anything."
The past year, it felt as if there was a never ending pit in his stomach now that she was gone. When he revealed his secret to her almost two years ago, a giant weight lifted off of his shoulders. And for the first time in his life, he didn't feel so alone.
But the weight was back, and heavier than ever before. Sure, Gaius knew about his powers, but it's not the same as he is not allowed to use magic unless absolutely necessary. That part of him was hidden and he had no freedom to tell anyone else.
There were far too many sleepless nights as nightmares circulated his mind like the plague. It scared him more than anything to know that Morgana's fate lied in Morgause's hand. He faces many moments in where he is forced to identify bodies found lying within the woods and only hopes that none of them are hers.
He is often relieved to know that the dead bodies they come across aren't hers. Though the routine is torturous. Never knowing what he will see the next day. Afraid of what he will find. In his darkest moment, he once wished that one of the dead bodies was hers. So this torture would end. And maybe the pit in his stomach will go away.
He brushes off those thoughts. Thankful for Gwen who reminds him to have hope that she will return. Wherever she is, he can only hope she is safe.
"Merlin!" Arthur waved his hand in front of the knight, and the warlocks bright blue eyes snapped open. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," he blinked. He looked down at the path ahead. Arthur could tell from his physical features that Merlin hadn't slept last night. Or any night this past year.
"Don't worry," he reached across the gap between their horses and patted Merlin's shoulder. "We'll find her."
Merlin tried to take comfort in his words, but he could sense that Arthur was trying to convince himself as well. The knights in front of them stopped abruptly. There was a camp nearby, and they jumped off their horses to look around. The camp looked as if it was abandoned not too long ago.
Arthur and Merlin unsheathed their swords, wary of their next step. Daegal, who was traveling with them, made a loud gulping noise that was heard from the back of the group where he stood.
Suddenly, a loud battle cry emerged from behind the trees as a large group of bandits attacked them. Merlin made sure to watch for Arthur as he fought against the assailants as best as he could.
Once they had finished fighting off their attackers, they heard shuffling in the smoke as a small figure approached them. Arthur took a cautious step, gripping his sword as he waited for the figure to come closer. Merlin took a deep breath, preparing himself for another fight.
But nothing could prepare him for the sight as she stepped out into the light. It looked surreal, like a ghost.
She didn't meet his eyes as Arthur sheathed his sword and ran forward. She collapsed into his arms, exhausted from her trip, and passed out.
Merlin paced around his room, the events of yesterday reeling in his head. He chose not to visit Morgana until the morning after as she awoke late last night.
Daegal was sitting behind him, watching with an unreadable expression.
"Are you alright?" His servant asked. He swiped a piece of bread from Merlin's uneaten plate, and began nibbling on the end of it. Merlin looked at him.
"She's back," he said quietly. "She's really back." He took in a breath, the reality of it all hitting him in the face. Daegal smiled at the expression on his master's face. He knew very well of the affects that the Lady Morgana's departure had on him. He was often present when Merlin woke up in a cold sweat from his many nightmares.
"You should go see her," he suggested. "I'm sure she missed you just as much."
"Do you think so?"
Daegal thought for a second. "Well, I don't think she spent her nights crying like baby-"
"I do not cry like a baby." His servant raised an eyebrow, muffling a laugh. "I don't cry at all."
"Sorry. No, you're right." Daegal stammered softly, in a joking manner. "Of course you didn't." Merlin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Anyways, what are you waiting for? Go see her!"
Daegal started to push Merlin out the door. "You just want to steal my food," he protested. He felt quite nervous about going to see her after so long. Considering how they left things, he wouldn't have known how to respond if she brought up how he tried to poison her. There was a lump in his throat as he thought about it.
"Go," he laughed. "Your lady awaits."
As he walked up to Morgana's chambers, he spotted Guinevere descending down the stairs that led to the room. He paused for a moment to dust himself off and fix his hair. Gwen noticed and let out a light laugh.
"Do I look okay?" He asked her. She laughed a little more.
"You like fine," she smiled. Though he didn't believe her, and looked at his choice of clothing again.
"Maybe I should change-"
Gwen grabbed his arm. "You look absolutely adorable," she laughed. "Now, come on. She's asking for you."
He took a deep breath. "How is she?" He asked before he took another step.
"She's doing well," she informed him. "Gaius says that she's recovering quickly."
"That's good," he said. "That's really good." He stood still.
"Go," she urged. "She'll better when she see's your face again." She playfully shoved him towards the stairs, walking away when she noticed him going up.
Merlin looked back for a second at Gwen, and smiled to himself. She looked much happier now that Morgana was back. She looks much more at ease. As if she was holding her breath the entire year, and only now can she breathe.
After he knocked on the door, he quickly smoothed out his clothes and hair when he heard her voice. "Come in."
He entered slowly, taking notice of her sitting on the bed. "Merlin," she greeted. She offered him a bright smile, the light shining in her eyes.
"Hi," he breathed. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel okay," she responded. "I'm feeling much better now that you're here."
"That's good." He swallowed a little, unsure of what to say next. He didn't want to ask what happened or how she survived the past year she was gone. He didn't want to pry, nor did he want to be rude. It wasn't his business.
"I know what you did," she told him quietly. "You tried to poison me."
He couldn't bring his head up to face her. "I know," he whispered. "I'm sorry." He took a seat close to her on the bed. "You have no idea how sorry I am." He raised his eyes at her for a second.
"It's alright, Merlin." She took a hold of his hand. "I understand. You were just trying to protect your friends. I would have done the same." While she drank the poison willingly, it was he who brought the bottle in the first place.
"I didn't want to," he subconsciously used his thumb to rub her knuckles. "I never would have done it, but-"
"It's okay, Merlin." There was something off about her, he noted. Her voice was so sickeningly sweet, and he couldn't understand how she was so forgiving. It's been a year, and he still couldn't forgive himself for trying to kill the woman he loves. "I'm sure you're curious. About what happened to me. How I escaped."
"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready."
She smiled again, and he smiled back. He missed her. "After Morgause cured me, we were attacked and I was taken by bandits. I was locked in a cell for almost a year," her voice became soft. He squeezed her hand to comfort her, waiting patiently for her to continue. "About a week ago, they moved me. I'm not sure why. It could have been a patrol from Camelot."
Merlin recalled, earlier this week, coming across a patrol group in a field up north. They were all dead, not a single survivor.
"The patrol found you?"
"I was so close to being free. But then I saw them killed. Every one of them. I took my chance to escape when I noticed the bandits were distracted by their loot. That's when I saw Arthur." She reached up to wipe a tear, her other hand still holding onto Merlin's. "I couldn't believe my eyes."
"You're home now," he smiled lightly. "You're safe, and I won't let anything bad happen to you. Not again." His voice dropped to a whisper at the end. He gave her hand another squeeze before standing up. "You should rest. I'm glad you're ok."
She nodded her head, and waved goodbye.
Merlin returns to his room with a strange feeling in his stomach. He shook it off, though. She was back, alive, and he couldn't have been more relieved. Neither of them have brought up the fact that they confessed their love for each other the last time they spoke. However, he also knew that it wasn't the time for that.
For now, he can only relish in the fact that she's alive and well.
"How was it?" Daegal asked from his spot in the room.
"It was good," he answered simply.
"That's… good." Daegal looked at him strangely.
"I have patrol duty for the rest of the day." He picked up his armor and cape. "I'll see you later."
"Bye," he replied, but Merlin was already out the door. "Well, okay. I'll just stay here then."
Merlin decided not to think about how odd Morgana was acting this morning. It was as if they hadn't known each other before she left. The atmosphere felt completely awkward, unlike their normally comfortable conversations. It was as if everything has changed, and he didn't like the thought of that.
She's back, but she doesn't feel the same.
Most of the day was spent on the look out for bandits that could have been holding Morgana captive. Uther wanted to make sure they can never take her again as they might be looking out to recapture her. And if they find them, they were to bring them back to the castle to punish them for their crimes.
As he was walking through the lower grounds, he found a small shadow walking towards the stables. His hand went to the hilt of his sword as he slowly followed the figure. He hid behind a stack of barrels when someone exited the stables swiftly.
He peered over and tried to make out who was leaving, but he only caught a glimpse of a red cloak. Morgana's red cloak.
The slight chance that it could be her leaving the castle caused Merlin to freeze in his place. He couldn't bring himself to follow her.
Instead of returning to his chambers, he decided to wait for her to come back. He wanted to make sure it was Morgana he saw, and not a cruel trick of the mind. However, the big possibility that it could be her gave him a sick feeling in his stomach.
If it was her, he was afraid to find out why she was leaving the castle at such late hours. He couldn't think of a single reason as to why she would leave in the first place.
He waits for her by the catwalk that leads to her chambers, voluntarily taking another guard's post.
Later in the evening, Morgana is sneaking up into the catwalk carefully when Merlin first sees her. He swallows a little as he realizes that it really was her who sneaked out. He picks his head up and moves to the middle of the hall to block her from entering.
"My lady? What are you doing out so late?"
"I just wanted to go out for a ride," she smiled. She tried to step around him, but Merlin didn't believe her and halted her movement.
"Why?"
"I just wanted a bit of air," she reasoned, but he didn't move. Morgana looks up, eyes cold. "It's none of your business, Merlin. Move." He takes a step to the right when she tries to move around him again.
He notices something dripping from her cloak. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Merlin. Let me through." He looks into her eyes for a second before reaching down to examine her leg, but she pushes his hand away.
"Morgana, you're hurt." He grabs her arm, and turns her to face him. Instinctively, she pushes him back against the wall closest to them so he lets go of her. "Morgana, please."
"Leave me alone," she snapped. "I went outside to get some fresh air. Must you question everything I do?"
Merlin faltered at her words. "Sorry. I was worried about you."
Her once warm and kind green eyes gave him a cold stare. "Well, don't. I don't need you to worry about me." His bright blue eyes dulled to show he's hurt. "Just do me a favor, and leave me alone."
A few days later, a blonde haired high priestess is seen walking the halls of the castle in Essetir. The blood guard trails behind her when she enters King Cenred's throne room.
"Morgause, what a pleasant surprise." Cenred gestures to the seat across from him.
"I'm sure you've heard the news about Uther Pendragon?"
He pours her a drink. "Yes, it appears that he's finally lost his mind."
"Camelot is at its weakest. The kingdom is susceptible to attack. Just as I promised."
The king ponders for a moment as he sets his drink down. "An assault on Camelot cannot be undertaken lightly. Even without a king, their citadel is still impregnable."
"You forget that we have an ally in the court."
"Allies aren't always reliable," he reminds her. "You never know where their true loyalties lie."
"She is no traitor," she defends. "She can be relied upon until the end. I assure you."
Author's Note: The sequel is here! Yay! It's been a year, but I was busy with school and stuff so I'm sorry for the long wait. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. And if you haven't read the prequel, you might want to if you're confused. Although, I don't think you have to. But I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope to update as soon as possible. :)