Well this is my first fanfic. If I get a few reviews I'll keep going.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I just like play in Ms. Austen's world.

Chapter 1 Tequila or Vodka

The dream was intense. So many positions, the moaning, the sweaty pulsating bodies. Wait that pulsating was coming from her cranium. "Dear God, how much did I drink last night?"

She felt so tired, sick, and heavy. No, that is unfortunately a strange man's arm draped over her waist. "Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck!"

It also appeared that the mystery man had a HUGE case of morning wood that was conveniently pressed against her ass. "Isn't this just shittacular?"

Lizzie's brain had yet to truly wake from its alcohol-induced coma. She suspected it may be due to tequila. "Or maybe vodka?"

She made a vain attempt at focusing on the alarm clock, then she realized she wasn't in her room. "Fuck, shit, crap, fuck! Wait, no more fucking. Fucking bad. Focusing good. First, let's get outta here. Shit! Where the HELL am I?!" Lizzie tried to wake her suffering mind but only came up with the basics. "Big Medical Convention. Vegas. Hotel." She looked down at the mystery man's arm only to have her heart lurch and her brain almost vibrate with pain.

"Married?! I fucking fucked a fucking married fucking man! FUCK!" Her brain did not know how to compute that shit.

She moved her hand to try to remove the mystery man's offending appendage, when an excruciating brightness hit her retina. There sitting on her left ring finger is a big fat diamond ring. "Holy hot fucking shit! No! No! Fuck no! Oh dear Lord, no! FUCK! Shit, no! Goddamnit! Please no. Fuck!"

As her brain, or at least the one small part of it that functioned at the moment, cursed and swore an internal monologue that would make her father proud; her mouth let out an ear piercing scream.

"AAAHHH! Fucking HELL!" apparently the swear words made it from the mind to the mouth after all.

It was at that moment the mystery man bolted upright cradling his head and moaned in deep pain.

"Ugh! What the hell?"

"Darcy?!"

"Bennet?!"

"You're naked…"

"You're nude…"

"You have a hard-on!"

"Shit!"

"Your hand…"

"Excuse me?"

"Your fucking hand!"

"What? You wanna see a show!?"

"Your left hand!"

"I'm more of a righty-"

"Look at your fucking left hand you damn freak!"

"Holy shit! Is that a-"

"Yup."

"Did we…?"

"Yup."

"Fuuuuuck!"

"Apparently we did that too."

Darcy stared at his hand for what Lizzie felt was an eternity. It seemed that his mind simply shut down. She could understand that. She herself was having a mental meltdown. William Motherfucking Darcy is wearing a matching platinum wedding band.

"That bastard got me drunk!"

"That bitch got me drunk!"

A/N Well that was chapter one. Hope you liked it. Yes it was short. Some chapters will be longer. Please let me know what you think.