Kate Beckett had a rare morning off.
They were so rare in fact, that her last one was roughly three hairstyles ago. She took full advantage, sitting on the couch in Richard Castle's loft, reading the newspaper with a mug of fresh coffee clutched in her right hand. He was out for the morning to shoot a commercial for his new book; Martha said she was out shopping, but she was probably with him.
Alexis had slept in. In fact, when Kate finally heard footsteps coming down the staircase, she glanced at the clock. It was almost 10. To say this was a late start for the redhead would probably be the understatement of the week.
She glanced up from her paper with a smile. "That's gotta be a new record for you."
Alexis gave a sheepish grin before flopping down onto the couch. Small bags hung under her eyes, contrasting with her pale skin. "Couldn't sleep." She sat back against the cushions, laying her head against the side.
Kate set down the paper and took a sip of coffee before the mug followed suit. "Still worried about your dad?"
"Much as he'd like to think it does, scooter rides down the hall don't solve everything."
The detective smiled in spite of herself – partly because of how adorable the image of her fiancé, a fully-grown man, going on a scooter ride down the hallway with his (also fully grown) daughter, was. In a lot of ways, Richard Castle was just a big kid, but he was also a doting father. Kate found both of those qualities endearing.
She scooted over to sit closer to Alexis. "You wanna talk about it?"
"I do, actually."
Kate couldn't help but smile when Alexis sat up a little straighter, tucking her legs under her. Kate had always been fond of Castle's daughter, even when he was a proverbial thorn in her side, and it had been her hope since they'd been together that Alexis would accept her. Alexis was such an important part of Castle's life that Kate didn't want to intrude on that.
Both Alexis and Castle had assured her, more than once, that wasn't the case, but Kate would've been lying if she said it didn't still eat at her from time to time.
Alexis cringed and hunched her shoulders. "Truth is…it's not just about dad."
Kate kept quiet, giving Alexis the time and space she needed to say whatever she needed to say. Poking and prodding probably wasn't going to work, here; the redhead may have been willing to confide in Beckett on the rare instance Castle wasn't around, but she could tell this wasn't easy.
The detective watched Alexis' fingers fidgeting, before the redhead wrapped her arms around her knees. Alexis shrugged again. "I have nightmares sometimes." Alexis forced herself to look at Kate. "About Paris."
A frown etched onto Kate's face as Alexis looked up at her. "I mean, it's different for me, cause I remember it all, but…first me, now him." Alexis leaned in closer, resting her head on Kate's shoulder. "Every time my phone rings, I get this…knot in my stomach."
Kate wrapped an arm around Alexis, giving the redhead's shoulder a squeeze. None of them ever really talked about what happened in Paris once Alexis was brought home. She vividly remembered seeing a side of Castle she never knew existed, a side she hopefully would never have to see again.
Truth be told, Kate had that in her as well; she felt it rising to the surface in the hours and days after her fiancé's disappearance. The uncontrollable rage, the determination to do anything, no matter what, to bring the person she loved home – even if that meant wrecking everything else in her life in the process.
Fortunately, it never quite came to that.
"You ever talk to your dad about it?" Kate gave her shoulder another squeeze. "About Paris?"
Alexis shook her head, wiping under her eyes. "Not really. I mean, he kinda freaked when I told him I wanted to go to Costa Rica, but…we never had a big sit-down or anything."
Kate's frown deepened. She never pegged Alexis for being one to just sit on stuff like that, especially knowing how doting and overprotective a father Castle was. Knowing how he was, she figured he would've coaxed it out of Alexis at some point.
"I'm sorry." Kate softly kissed the top of Alexis' head, before the redhead glanced up with confusion etched into her features. "I know I wasn't around a whole lot for the two months he was gone."
"It's okay." Alexis' smile was a sad one that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I know you had stuff to do, your own stuff to deal with. And I had to be here for Gram."
"But who was here for you?"
Alexis sat up a little straighter, taking Kate's hand into her own. "I'm actually sort of used to that." Her smile was a little brighter this time, but still held a twinge of sadness. "You may have noticed that more than once, I'm the adult in this family."
Kate laughed despite herself. "No, I'm serious." She squeezed Alexis' hand. "I can't imagine what you were dealing with all that time, and I was so wrapped up in my own pain and determination that…"
Kate glanced down at the floor. Alexis squeezed her hand back. "That what?"
It was Kate's turn to offer a sad smile, and she had to force herself to look at Alexis. "I was hours away from being your stepmom. I should've put more effort into being there for you."
Smiling, Alexis curled up and rested her head on Kate's lap. Kate sat back and started running her fingers through the redhead's hair. They sat like that, in silence, for what felt like minutes, before Alexis turned so she could look up at the detective.
"You know you never had to be my mom."
"I know." Kate smiled. "You're smart. You're capable. You're independent. But I realized a long time ago, when I finally admitted to myself that I loved your father, that if I had any hope of a future with him, it had to include you. Like a…package deal."
"And when was this?"
Kate gave Alexis a knowing smile. "A lot earlier on than I'm willing to admit. Which means he never finds out, okay?"
For the first time that morning, Alexis gave a true, full-on smile. She even laughed a little, and she wasn't backing away as Kate's fingers ran through her hair. Kate was glad for that; not that the two of them had ever been hostile, but this put a lot of her lingering doubts away about how Alexis felt about her relationship with Rick.
It didn't matter that Alexis was an adult now; she was still Castle's daughter, and that would always shape the way he viewed things relating to her. If Kate was going to be part of this family – one could argue that she already was – she needed to be on the best of terms with Alexis.
For the first time in a long while, Kate knew without a doubt that she was.
"Would you be willing to talk to someone?" Kate was serious again. "Someone professional?"
Alexis looked up again, her smile gone. "You mean, like a shrink?"
Kate nodded.
Alexis sat up again, her brows furrowed. "I dunno…hadn't really thought about it."
"Well…" Kate fished through the contacts in her phone, before grabbing a notepad and a pen to jot down a number. "If you decide to, here's the number for Dr. Carver Burke. I saw him after I got shot."
Alexis took the note, her eyes scanning over the number. "Thank you…"
The redhead stood with a sigh before crossing over to the kitchen to place the note on the fridge. She wanted to put it in a place where she'd see it, because she honestly wanted to give it some thought. If therapy helped Kate deal with the aftermath of almost being killed, then maybe there was something for Alexis.
"Hey…you off all day?"
Kate stood, grabbing her coffee mug and taking another sip. She sat at the counter, both hands wrapped around the warm mug so the aroma drifted up to her nose. She loved how he still managed to give her coffee even after getting up and leaving before she got out of bed.
They still had a ways to go, but at least she wasn't questioning his loyalty anymore. The video he'd left her in Montreal had gone a long way in that regard.
"I don't have to go in til late." She smiled. "Why?"
Alexis leaned over the counter. "Well, it occurs to me that we've never really had a mother-daughter day." Kate opened her mouth to speak, but Alexis pressed on. "I mean, we've never just had a day to ourselves. You and dad are always working, or I'm always jetting off somewhere for an internship or whatever…"
Alexis crossed the counter to sit next to Kate. "There's no telling how long he'll be. The last commercial he filmed, they needed 20 takes. So why don't we just…I dunno…have a day out on the town. Shopping, maybe see a movie, grab some lunch…"
The smile on Kate's face grew as she listened to Alexis. Truth be told, she needed something like that, whether it was with Alexis or not. Not that Kate Beckett needed pampering, but the stress of the last few months had given her little time to unwind.
"I'd love that."
Written because, dammit, we need more Kate and Alexis bonding (especially before Kate and Rick start considering the thought of having kids of their own). Rest assured, everyone, Chapter 9 of "At Least I Got a Goodbye" *is* coming! I appreciate everyone's support and feedback!