This is just something that popped into my head.
If most people were asked to describe me they would probably use the word shy, someone quiet, who doesn't talk much. I suppose I am, but I've never thought of myself like that. I don't say a lot out loud, but it's hard to think of yourself as quiet when you constantly hear your own thoughts.
Timid, though, timid is word that fits me perfectly. It's synonymous with coward. I never have the courage to stand up for myself, I just take whatever insults are thrown my way, especially by my father. I'm a coward for not standing up to him, and I have no right to stand up to him because I am a coward.
Take today for instance. Right now I'm standing in the courtyard to my family's main house. My father is standing across from me, he wants me to attack him. But every time I try I miss, because I'm too slow, too hesitant. I've actually tripped over my own feet once already today.
My father is not pleased. I can see the disapproval in his eyes. He has hardly said a word since this morning and I can feel the tension mounting. A knot is twisting in my stomach and it's as though that same knot twists my legs and makes me stumble.
At last he breaks the silence, "Perhaps we should stop for today." But I can hear his unspoken words, "You've failed."
Holding back the tears that are pressing behind my eyes I turn and walk towards the door that leads back inside. But it opens before I reach it.
I stop, rooted to the spot. Standing in the doorway of my house is Naruto.
He smiles at me and then turning his face towards my father says, "Oi, ji-chan, is Neji around?"
I catch a look at my father's face, his features are stony as he tells Naruto that Neji is at the training ground.
It's with an informal thanks that Naruto leaves. The moment he disappears I hear my father's voice, "That boy is a disgrace. He has no sense of manners or respect for his betters. It's fortunate that his parents are not around to see how shamefully their son behaves."
Shameful. I wonder if my father even knows how many times that word has cut right to my heart. But this is no such time. I can feel something bubbling up inside me. The more I repeat his words in my mind the more it rises, like a pot of boiling water, it doesn't take long before it has no more room to stay inside.
"You're wrong." This is the first time I've ever said those words to my father, probably the first time I've said them to anyone, but I don't care. Not right now. "Naruto-kun is not a disgrace, nor does he act shamefully. He doesn't have all the outward signs of respect, but he's kind, and honest, and brave, and he really cares about people. He's an amazing ninja and an amazing person. I-I would be happy if I was half the person he is."
Now that I'm done I stand waiting for my father's anger. At the moment his face is like stone, it hasn't changed since I started talking. He is probably too surprised that I said anything at all. I already know I'm going to get in trouble for this, I've never spoken back at him before so I can't even imagine what he'll do, but I don't care. He was wrong.
When a reaction finally registers on his face it's my turn to be surprised. His face is grim, but there in his eyes I can see something. He's smiling. There's no way he can miss the shock that must adorn my own face. I sift through my memories but can't recall ever having seen my father so happy.
"Perhaps we can train a little longer today." I nod almost dumbly to his words, but as I take my position across from him I feel a surge of determination to do better. I'm ready.
Just before we start I hear something. Its so quiet I'm not sure if I imagine it or not, but it sounds like, "There's hope for you yet."
...
Timid: showing a lack of courage or confidence; easily frightened.
Ji-chan: Informal way of saying grandfather or old man.
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