Ichigo and Kon's day off.
By EnigmaticSentinel
Author's notes: This is my first fan fiction ever. Please don't be too harsh on me, but I would appreciate some good criticism so I can improve as an author. Now let us venture into the story!
It's an average day in Karakura, accept, not for me. When the hell am I going to kick some Hollow ass? Why does it seem everyone I know and their grandmother has to do something today? Why am I stuck here babysitting this freaking stuffed bear? "Hey! I'll have you know I'm a stuffed lion and I'm very attractive!" Kon sprung to life after hearing Ichigo's insulting comment towards him. "Shut it you furry freak." Ichigo coldly threw the anthropomorphic stuffed animal against the wall. "And leave my inner monologue alone!" Kon over exaggeratedly wept and said to Ichigo, "But-but Ichigo, my women left me… No more Orihime's double ds' or Rukia's small, but warm, comfortable breasts. HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT THEM!?" I'm sure they're thrilled that they don't have to spend another moment with you. I just wish I had something better to do than watch this moron. "Bro, don't you understand what I'm sayin'? Don't you ever feel the way that I feel?" Ichigo then gives Kon an answer he would have never expected. "Yes, most men feel this way. I guess sometimes I have urges too. But you gotta have self-control sometimes. You always go hog wild every time you see a girl you "like". That's why we all find you annoying." Kon just sat there in silence; struggling to come up with a response. But soon enough, Kon breaks the silence. "You know what, I'm going to prove you wrong! I'm going to show the world that I can be a gentleman! Now let's go!" "Ugh, I guess it's better than staying home." They leave out the house and walk around town.
"Hey mommy, why is that teddy bear walking?" A young boy gawked. People started to crowd Kon, pondering the anomaly they are witnessing. The two were highly concerned about their cover being blown. However, Ichigo's quick thinking saved them from being exposed. "W-well as you can see, this "adorable" creature is powered by uh, animatronics and is powered by a special battery." A couple of school girls clambered around the living plush lion. "It's really cute!" A 2nd year High School girl scooped Kon off the ground. This was a real test to see if Kon really stayed true to what he stated prior. While this was going on, Ichigo was being bombarded with questions about his so called "animatronic toy." One executive of a large corporation wanted to purchase the "mechanical plushie" off of Ichigo. Just before Kon decides whether to give in to his temptations of wonderful breasts, or resist his personal heaven, a hand grabs him from behind and pulls him rapidly away from the large formation of people. "Sorry!" The crowd starts to disappear before Kon's very eyes as Ichigo continues running.
"You know this wasn't your brightest idea you know!" "Shut it! You were the one that wanted to leave the house in the first place!" "Well s-o-r-r-y! I was totally going to show you I DO have self-control." "Yeah, and I saw you with that girl. To be honest, that's the longest I've seen you be, well, normal." "That's the nicest thing you've said to me Ichigo. HUG!" Kon lunged towards Ichigo and latched onto his head. "You're pushing it man." Ichigo then pulls Kon off his head but does not react violently to him. "Listen, you gotta keep improving your act, otherwise Rukia will kick you like always." "You got it boss!" The two went home and watched some television together. Ichigo surfs the channel until he noticed Don Kanonji's TV show "Cazh Soul". "Who the hell is this guy?" Kon abruptly asked. "Oh I remember him. We battled Hollows in this abandoned hospital and man was that guy a handful." "I can tell. He looks like pure sin." "You're definitely right about that! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "Ichigo, what are you doing with Bostov?" Yuzu wondered why her brother had Kon on the sofa conversing with him. Ichigo was unaware that his family just came back from getting clinic supplies. They witnessed Ichigo seemingly go crazy by talking to an inanimate plushie. "What's this boy? You're playing with stuffed animals again? WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG?!" Isshin burst into tears. Karin butted in by saying, "you got problems bro." "YOU GUYS! IT ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" Ichigo then knew it was no use and they would let it up for a while. He retreated to his room. Rukia then came back from, whatever she was doing that day. But she seemed visually upset at the two. Rukia then hits both Ichigo and Kon on the head, causing a massive lump to form on each of their heads. "JUST WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING TODAY?! YOU ALMOST GOT CAUGHT! DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG OF A PROBLEM THIS COULD HAVE BECOME?!" "SORRY!" The two bowed in apology. "You two better not cause problems with me tonight." Rukia goes into the closet and slams the door. Ichigo then flops on the bed. As he laments the day's events, he had actually got along with Kon an awful lot today. He almost considers him a friend, almost. As the substitute soul reaper goes to sleep, more crazy adventures await him.
End
Authors Notes: If you're wondering when this fan fiction took place, it was before Rukia's departure. Reviews would be much appreciated. Thanks guys and gals! ^-^