Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Pokémon. It's fanfiction.
A/N: I wrote this last summer but I could never decide if it was a good idea to put it up or not. It just seemed silly. I was probably feeling silly. But I did enjoy writing it so maybe, just maybe, it'll put a smile on someone else's face.
Quinn squinted up at the horizon. "Is that—is that Berry?!"
She grabbed the binoculars from her waist and peered through. Three figures were hiking themselves up the gentle hill—one tiny, one blond, and one with a Mohawk. Rachel, Brittany, and Puck.
Quinn threw her binoculars down in irritation. "Damn it!"
"It's them?" Santana asked hopefully. She shared a grin with Mike. "We caught up just in time!"
Quinn glared. "Guys, they're our rivals!"
"No… you and Berry are rivals. Everyone else thinks you two are out of your damn minds," Santana said.
"She's the crazy one!" Quinn revolted. "Come on, Mike! You agree with me."
"I what?" He gave her a look. "Don't be troublesome."
Quinn turned around. "Sis?"
Frannie looked up from her Pokédex. "Hey, I'm just traveling with you until we reach the coast. Don't involve me in your little playground spats."
Quinn's face blotched with indignance. "They're not little playground spats! She and I are sworn enemies. She thinks she is the better Pokémon trainer, which she is not because I am!"
Frannie and Santana mirrored a smirk. "Right, I'm sorry. Not playground spats—"
Quinn nodded, glad that they saw reason.
"—more like unresolved sexual tension!" The two girls snickered.
"Unresolved what? NOOOO!"
Rachel perked up. "Did you guys hear that?"
"Hear what?" Brittany asked. She had her nose in the flowers by the trail.
"No, no. I heard it too," Puck said, tilting his head to the wind.
"Do you think it's a Pokémon?"
"Maybe." He climbed onto a rock and scanned over the ridge. "Or not."
Rachel climbed up beside him, catching sight of four familiar figures. "Hey, it looks like…" Her face turned sour.
Puck gave her a glance. "You know, if we hurry, we might be able to lose ourselves in the city. It's less than a mile away."
"Are you suggesting I run?" Rachel sniped. "Rachel Berry doesn't run. Ever!"
He rolled his eyes, feeling an argument coming on. "Well, you looked like you wanted to run."
"I did not!"
"Doesn't matter to me any which way," he drawled, hands on the straps of his pack. "I've been looking forward to some bro time. You girls can be so finicky sometimes."
Brittany looped her arms around them. "What are we looking at?"
"No one important," Rachel scoffed. "In fact, we should probably get moving."
Puck raised an eyebrow at her.
"Oh, hey! Friends!" Brittany exclaimed. She cupped her hands around her mouth. "HEY GUYS! WE'RE UP HERE!" She gave an enthusiastic wave.
Three of the four figures waved back. The last one crossed her arms and kicked at the ground.
"Oh, hey. Fabray is just as excited to see you," Puck laughed. He nudged Rachel with an elbow.
Rachel huffed and looked away from him, nose turned high.
They were barely meters from each other when Quinn stormed over, the brim of her cap whipped to the side.
"Berry! I challenge you to a Pokémon battle!"
"Funny, I was just about to do the same!" she bellowed. "Three on three?"
"Fine by me!"
"Well, that escalated quickly," Frannie said evenly as she watched her sister hustle Rachel into a clearing.
"Those two will be fine once they tire themselves out," Mike said, slipping his heavy backpack off with sigh of relief. He rolled his shoulders to ease the stiffness.
Brittany bounced in excitement. "It's so good to see you guys again!" she beamed. She lurched forward and gave everyone a hug though she held onto Santana longer than was necessary. The latter didn't seem to mind however.
Puck immediately honed in on Frannie. He confidently ran his hand over his hair. "Hey, baby. You're new—"
She held up a hand. "Not interested."
"But I haven't—"
"Not interested!"
Mike snickered at his longtime friend. "Down and out before he even starts."
Puck shot him a bitter look. "What happened to bros before—oomph!"
"Don't even think about it," Frannie warned.
Puck rubbed at his sore side. "I get it, I get it! Sheesh!"
"I'll let you go second," Rachel declared from her spot twenty meters away. "You're going to need every advantage you can get."
Quinn sneered in distaste. "Like hell! I'll go first!"
"No, I'll go!"
"I'll go!"
"At the same time then?"
They both threw in their Pokéballs.
A curled bug with a hard exterior appeared at Quinn's feet. A purple starfish with ten points appeared at Rachel's.
"Whirlipede!" Quinn shouted. "Steamroller!"
"Starmie! Dodge and use Confuse Ray!"
Puck and Mike immediately went off to forage, eager to separate themselves from the girls. Everyone knew they went off to trade breeder/research notes and compare their newest recipes. And have bro time.
"Are you a Pokémon trainer too?" Brittany asked Frannie. It was her first time meeting Quinn's older sister. Santana was relaxing with her head on Brittany's shoulder.
"Yeah. Pokémon Coordinator actually."
Brittany's eyes widened. "Really? Me too! That's so cool!"
Frannie gave her an appraising glance. "Are you entering the contest in the city? It's this weekend."
"Of course!" Brittany sat up, the movement causing Santana to face plant into ground. "Are you?"
Frannie diverted her eyes and rubbed her at neck sheepishly. "No, uh… I'm actually last year's winner."
Brittany bounced up in excitement. "You were?! Can I see the ribbon?"
"Hey, gym leaders are cool too," Santana interrupted. She squeezed in between the pair. "Back in my day, no one ever won against me."
"You mean until Quinn came along," Frannie pointed out, fumbling with her case.
"And Rachel," Brittany added listlessly. She let out an awed gasp when the case divulged two neat rows of colorful ribbons.
Santana's ears turned red. "I'll have you know, I let them win."
"Sure you did," Frannie eased. "Why else would you follow my baby sis around?"
"Because Q is, for lack of a better word, amusing. Why else would I journey with her and Chang? Free endless entertainment!" She stretched her arms to the sky.
Frannie scrunched her eyebrows. "I thought it was because she owed you a new bike, courtesy of her Pikachu's Thunder Shock."
"And that's why I'm still stuck with her!" she defended. "You think I would have traveled this long with her otherwise?!"
"Didn't she pay you back already?"
Brittany nodded sagely. "She did. I saw."
"Not with interest!" Santana jabbed a finger into the air.
Frannie covered her mouth to hide a giggle. "You know, it's okay to admit that you're friends. I'm sure Quinn considers you one as well, despite being your proverbial hamster."
"I DON'T MAKE FRIENDS WITH DORKS!"
Quinn smirked in triumph. "One down, two to go."
"It was a lucky shot!" Rachel retorted. She returned Starmie to her Pokéball. "You did good, Starmie. Have a good rest now."
Rachel reached for another Pokéball and threw it out, the capsule opening up on the field. "Go, Ninetails!"
A sleek fox with nine tails appeared, her body moving with grace. She stiffened as she caught sight of her opponent.
"Ready, Whirlipede?" Quinn asked. Her Pokémon grunted in response, rolling back and forth in anticipation.
Rachel pointed at Whirlipede. "Ninetails, use Flamethrower!"
"Hey, we're back!" Mike dropped off his basket as Puck unceremoniously dropped off his. Frannie had already started the fire and set the pot boiling so all that was left was the cooking. Mike rolled up his sleeves and got to prepping. Frannie and Brittany offered to help wash and peel. Puck however, donned on a pink apron lined with ruffles and loomed over the pot with a wooden spoon in hand.
Frannie stared. "You—That—I haven't pegged you as a guy confident enough to wear pink let alone whatever that is!"
Puck looked at his apron. "Hey, I make it look good, and let me assure you, I'm a hundred percent all man underneath it." He wiggled his eyebrows.
Frannie laughed. "I sure hope you don't subject Rachel and Brittany to this kind of treatment or I might consider calling their parents."
"Oh, he won't try," Santana gloated lightly, "He knows I gots razor blades in my hair ready to make acquaintance with his boy parts if he does."
Puck shuddered.
Frannie looked like she didn't want to get started on how it could be possible to store razors in one's hair when she had seen said girl wash and comb her hair a multitude of times.
Puck hummed over his collection of seasonings. "Don't worry. Rachel and Brittany are like my little sisters. You Babe, on the other hand…" he began.
Frannie rolled her eyes. "I'm engaged."
"Oh." Puck flexed his biceps in what he thought was a sexy manner. "In that case—"
"Bro, you might want to leave this one," Mike interrupted from the cutting board, "I've met her fiancé and you don't want to mess with him."
"Oh, don't ruin my fun. How bad can he be?"
"Trust me. He's a big dude. Raises rare dragon Pokémon for a living."
"You did great, Whirlipede. Return." Quinn scowled at Rachel. "Ready for the next one?"
"I should be asking you that," Rachel replied, tossing her hair back. Ninetails mirrored her.
"Whatever," she scoffed. She reached an arm back and threw in her next choice. "Come on, Ampharos! Let's win this!"
A black and yellow Pokémon flashed onto the grass. He crouched low on his paws, sizing the fox across from him. Ninetails growled.
"Ninetails, Dig!" Rachel shouted. Ninetails quickly leaped into action, paws rifting through the soil made soft from Starmie's attacks.
Quinn cussed. "Ampharos, quick! Use Thunder Bolt!"
"Tell me about Quinn and Rachel," Frannie asked. "I spent most of Quinn's childhood traveling but I could have sworn they were best friends. I remember Rachel coming over for sleepovers."
Mike and Puck exchanged looks. Respective best friends of Quinn and Rachel.
"Believe it or not, it started with a boy," Mike said.
"Yeah, Finn Hudson," Puck added. "They both found out they liked the same guy and it went downhill from there."
Santana raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? How come I haven't heard this story?"
"Well, it's not much of a story. They decided the other was their rival and all of a sudden, nothing was off limits when it came to competition. Grades, awards, food, Finn."
"I normally would say poor dude but Hudson dated back and forth between them so many times, I really would have loved the chance to sock him in the face," Puck sighed. He pummeled his fist into his hand.
Mike shrugged. "They did get over him. Their rivalry isn't as bad now."
"This isn't bad?" Santana exclaimed. She gestured sharply towards the battle. "All this time, Q ranting about Berry, I can't tell half the time if she wants to kill her or fuck her."
"Eloquently put, Lopez," Frannie deadpanned.
"I just think Quinn and Rachel don't know how to talk to each other anymore so they have battles instead," Brittany offered quietly. "Their rivalry is the only bond they have left between them and they want to keep it."
"Ever think they'll mellow out enough to realize it?" Mike asked.
Brittany pointed toward the two in question. "One day maybe. Even though they act all mean and cold to each other, you can tell they're enjoying themselves."
Rachel and Quinn stared at their Pokémon in dismay. Double knockout.
"Guess this is the last round," Quinn said. "Prepare to lose."
"You prepare to lose!" Rachel smirked. "Go, Musharna!"
A round Pokémon appeared in the air, pink mist trailing from its snout.
"Huh," Frannie said in thought. "Rachel must come by a lot of evolutionary stones."
Mike nodded in response, hand deep in the popcorn bag he managed to procure from his bottomless backpack.
"Why do you say that?" Santana asked. She reached for the spoon to taste the soup but Frannie slapped her hand away.
Puck held up three fingers. "Starmie, water stone. Ninetails, fire stone. Musharna, moon stone."
Santana let out a whistle. "Damn, that shit's expensive. Either she's lucky and finding them in all sorts of places or she's loaded."
"Both," Puck explained. "She plans our exploration missions like our lives depend on them and she makes some hefty cash with her singing."
Brittany sighed thoughtfully. "I hope we get to sing together later. I have a new duet I want to try with her.
Santana seemed to glower at that.
Quinn ran her fingers over her Pokéballs in thought. Musharna was a psychic type so one of her choices was out and the other she didn't even want to think about bringing out.
"Okay!" She grasped onto one of them. "Here we go, Rhydon—"
A different flash went off from her belt and a round, pink Pokémon appeared instead. "Jigglypuff!"
"No!" Quinn cried. "I didn't call you!"
Rachel paled. "You!"
Quinn didn't have to look up to know that Rachel was staring Jigglypuff down. This was the Pokémon who once dared to steal her spotlight on the stage.
"Jigglypuff!" the Pokémon huffed. It sucked in an angry breath, cheeks puff, equally as angry about the spotlight as was Rachel.
"Don't let it sing, Quinn!" Santana yelled from the sidelines. "I ain't waking up with shit on my face again!"
Rachel let an evil grin come onto her face. "That's right, Jigglypuff," she mocked. "Your singing puts people to sleep."
If it was any more possible, the Pokémon grew double in size.
Quinn slapped her forehead. There was no win-win situation now. The fate of the battle or the fate of the rest of their afternoon now rested on Jigglypuff's signature move.
Sing.
But Quinn didn't feel like snoozing in the middle of nowhere for hours on end, only to wake with marker scrawled angrily across her face. She had a feeling her friends didn't either.
She cupped her hands around her mouth. "Come on, Jigglypuff! If you win this battle without singing, I'll secure a showing for you in the city!"
She neglected to mention that she would drop Jigglypuff there and return much later.
"How dare you!" Rachel said accusingly. "I was going to sing you guys my new song after I win this battle!"
"Don't worry, you still can after you lose!" Quinn retorted. She pointed into the field. "Jigglypuff, Body Slam!"
"No, you don't! Musharna, Zen Headbutt!"
The two Pokémon charged at each.
"What do you think?" Santana muttered. "Should we get out of here while we can?"
"But I want to watch the rest of the battle!" Puck protested. Not to mention he had a soup to watch over.
"And that's Jigglypuff," Santana pointed out. "Last time we passed out, she drew fucking bugs all over my face."
"Seriously?" Frannie asked. She touched her own face in sympathy.
"Bugs were nothing compared to what she drew on me," Puck scoffed. "But you don't see me complaining about it."
"Considering your party days, you're the only one used to having p—"
"Double Slap!" Quinn shouted.
Rachel winced as Musharna hit the ground hard. "Come on, Musharna!"
The Pokémon got up in determination, eyes narrowed at Jigglypuff.
"Musharna, Hypnosis!"
Quinn's eyes widened. "Rest!"
Rachel gasped. "Fabray! Really?"
She shrugged, watching Jigglypuff send her own self to sleep. She started glowing as she recovered her health power.
Rachel bit her lip. "Recovery or no recovery, Jigglypuff won't last! Now Musharna, Dream Eater!"
"Guess there really was no other way out of that one," Frannie commented dryly.
"Hypnosis doesn't have a high accuracy though," Mike noted.
"Still," Puck shrugged. "That health boost may help keep Jigglypuff in the game."
"Guys, where did Santana go?" Brittany asked.
"Come on, Jigglypuff, wake up, wake up," Quinn muttered to herself. The Pokémon's eyes blinked opened. "Yes!"
Jigglypuff turned around to send her a glare. "Puff!"
"You're ready to finish this?" she asked.
Jigglypuff puffed her cheeks and nodded.
"Okay then! Double-edge!"
"Musharna, Psychic!" Rachel retaliated.
Quinn squeezed her fists tight. She wanted to believe Jigglypuff could win but she was seriously outmatched in this round. With Rhydon, she would have had a better chance.
Jigglypuff managed to land a hit before the combination of recoil and Musharna's attack knocked her out cold.
Quinn rushed onto the field and gathered the Pokémon in her arms. "You did awesome. Super good against an opponent like Musharna."
Jigglypuff moaned weakly.
"Don't worry. I'll still get you that showing in the city." She returned her to her Pokéball.
Rachel walked over to her and held out a hand. "Good battle."
Quinn returned the gesture. "Yeah, guess that makes us about even now. Next time you won't be so lucky."
"Whatever, Fabray." She placed her hands on her hips, turned her nose up and started heading toward the group.
Quinn made a face behind her back but followed after her anyway.
"How was I?" Rachel asked, toeing the edge of the picnic cloth as her friends put the final touches to their lunch.
"Fantastic!" Frannie replied. She was cutting the bread for the soup. "We should have a battle sometime."
She smiled slyly. "Sure. Maybe you'll put up a better fight than your wittle sister."
"What?!" Quinn poked her head out from behind Rachel. "There's no way Frannie is better than me. She's a Pokémon coordinator!"
Frannie harrumphed. "Oh, yeah? Maybe it's you I should wiping the floor with next time."
"I'd like to see you try!"
"Guys? Really, where did Santana go?" Brittany asked again. She looked a little worried.
"Probably squatting in the bushes," Puck snickered.
Frannie smacked his arm. "Do you have to be so crude?"
He shrugged, going back to doling soup out into their bowls.
"I'll go look for her," Rachel offered. Even if being alone with Santana was on the list of things she avoided like the plague.
"I'll go too!" Quinn broached all too willingly. "I bet I'll find her before you do."
"Quinn, not everything has to be a competition!" Mike looked like he wanted to strangle thin air.
The two girls ignored him.
"Oh, yeah?" Rachel jeered.
"Yeah!" Quinn rebuffed. The two were in each other's faces.
Frannie rubbed her forehead. "Oh, jeez. Can't I enjoy my lunch for once? I feel like I'm stuck in a perpetual state of babysitting! What have I done to deserve this?"
Puck slurped his soup. No sense in letting good food go cold.
"Santana Lopez!" Brittany called. "Where are you?!"
"Ba BAM!" Two dark masses fell from the tree above them. The group jumped back in surprise before they realized it was Santana and one of her Pokémon. She pointed at Quinn and Rachel. "Jynx! Attract! Attract!"
Two pink flashes of light accompanied the move. Startled, Rachel tripped over a root, falling face first onto Quinn and sending the two tumbling to the grassy ground.
"Now make out!" Santana roared, then doubled over in laughter while everyone stared in silence.
Frannie turned to Mike. "She scares the fucking shit out of me."
"Now you know my pain." Then a little louder. "If you were going for a pun, that was horrendous!"
Even Brittany didn't look amused. "San, Attract doesn't work like that!"
"I wouldn't be too sure…" Puck said, soup all over his front. His eyes were glued to Quinn and Rachel, the pair now making out furiously on the ground.
"Ay dios mios," Santana deplored. "I didn't expect that to happen." She scratched her head and looked at Brittany thoughtfully.
Frannie shook her head wildly. "My eyes and ears!" She got up and ran from the clearing, hands covering her ears and whispering furiously about stupid, repressed sisters.
"Faberry forever!" Brittany cheered, doing a little dance.
Mike held out a hand to Puck. "Give it up."
Puck cursed and reached for his wallet. "I knew I shouldn't have bet next month."
