"Okay, Ana, you can do this. Wait, no!" I smacked myself on the side of the head, the blonde wig absorbing some of the force. "You aren't Ana, you're Jessie!"
Exhaling a deep breath, I continued to look at myself in the mirror. A fitting black gown hugged my curves, accessorized by exquisite silver bracelets and a pearl necklace. The pricey wedges I paired with the outfit had started to become uncomfortable, but they were nothing I couldn't tolerate.
"Alright, lets do this." I muttered before heading out the door of my Las Vegas home to the limousine that Christian had waiting for me outside.
This would be our first official meeting, our first conversation face to face instead of over a computer screen. Christian was someone who I had spoken with for months on YouCam chat, through emails, on over the phone. We had never been in front of each other, however.
The nerves caused my stomach to capsize as the chauffeur drove me to the Palms Casino. Christian was staying there, and he had invited me to meet with him before heading out to The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino together. He would be my date to tonight's event. After all it was him who had won the raffle I hosted in my chat room.
Tonight was a rather important event in my career. It was the AVN Adult Webstar Convention, an awards show where those in the adult industry were given accolades for their achievements. Though I don't do pornography and sleep with random men in the business, I am an adult entertainer – so to speak.
My alter ego, Jessie Thorn, is a webcam model. She is a blonde entrepreneur who parades around in her underwear and does sexually explicit things online in front of guys who pay to watch her. This persona I have created is nothing like the real me is, so I have to affectate my personality the entire time I am around Christian. He knows Jessie, not Ana.
In real life, I'm a nervous wreck. Anxiety constantly interferes with my life, and my insecurities about my appearance alter my social skills. I feel like people constantly stare at Ana and laugh at her homely appearance, bad hair, and awful wardrobe.
Online though, Jessie is adroit. People do not intimidate her. Hurtful words do not cause her distress. She is there to entertain her regulars, play some games, get naked throughout the night, and most importantly of all make money.
I had been a camgirl for several months, gradually slipping into the personality – and the lifestyle. Before camming, I was a broke college student with an honest job that hardly paid my bills and an unappealing home in Washington. But only a few months after I started camming, and the money became steady and bountiful, I was able to afford a new car, a nice house all my own, and any and every leisurely activity or amenity life had to offer. The world was at my fingertips now, and I was empowered.
Apprehensive or not, my bank account was steady. I couldn't ask for more. I had Christian to thank for a lot of that. I lucked out as a camgirl that Christian was one of my first tippers and regulars. Within my first month on the job he tipped me two-thousand dollars. To some models that's hardly scratching the surface of their tip jar, but for only having worked forty hours that month, to me that was huge deal.
The more I cammed, the more he tipped. His favorite thing to do was pull me away from public chat to private shows where it was just him and myself. He would never have me touch myself like the other guests did, only play on my senses and request my obedience.
Christian's favorite thing to do was boss me around. He would instruct that I wear collars, handcuff myself, wear body harnesses, bind my feet together, and blindfold myself. A lot of the time his requests involved me running a feather along my body, placing ice cubs in different places on my skin and describing the feeling, or telling him about my sheltered life growing up.
He would often ask if I enjoyed being submissive to his request, to which I replied yes. I was hoping, praying that when I met him in person he wasn't some old perverted millionaire who was looking for a young bride to unleash his sexual fantasies on.
"We're here," the chauffeur alerted me, breaking my train of thought, "shall I guide you to his room?"
"No, this is fine, thank you." I politely declined as I stepped out of the vehicle.
The Palms Casino was beautiful. Though I had been in Vegas for a few months, I hadn't taken the time to properly explore around the strip and downtown. Now wasn't the time to admire how beautiful it was either.
The moment of truth was hurdling towards me at full speed. As the elevator climbed further up, my stomach, and my heart, sank further down. Alright Christian, time to see what kind of person you really are.
When the elevator pinged as it landed on the floor he was on, I cautiously stepped out – like rushing from the claustrophobia inducing box would have set off a secret alarm system. The long hallways were empty, so navigating to his room took little effort.
The door was the only thing now that stood in the way of us of meeting. Swallowing hard, I knocked lightly in the hopes that he wouldn't hear me and I wouldn't have to put on a facade of character.
"Coming." The door muffles his voice, but his response was simple enough to make out.
With shaking hands and sweaty palms I waited as his footsteps thudded their way across the floor. Soon, the door made a sharp creaking noise as he pulled it open.
"Ah, Jessie. Glad you made it here safely."