Please give me good criticism as this is my first fan fiction. Thank you

Jay Barnes is a 21 year old who was living in Leicester, England and he has just finished his Photography Degree at University and has now moved to Seattle, Washington to start a job at a Photography firm which he got offered.

Chapter 1:

Jay's POV:

I was now settled into my small apartment in Seattle and was ready to start the work at this Photography Firm further into the city; I was so excited to start this new chapter of my life. My apartment was very cosy having a decent sized living room/kitchen and bedroom and a slightly small bathroom, it didn't matter to me as I wasn't a big fan on cleaning so the less the better. After eating my very healthy meal of noodles from the Chinese takeaway around the corner from my apartment I decided to get some well deserved sleep after my long journey, only if I knew it would be my last sleep.

"Shit" I shouted as I lifted myself from my bed to find I woke up late and if I didn't leave soon I would miss my bus. I raced out of bed and leaped into the shower to get washed, I had to skip breakfast and head straight out the door. I ran to the bus stop across the street from the apartment to just make it to the bus in time; I gave a relaxing exhale as I was now on time to get to work and reduced my likelihood of getting fired on the first day. My first day was amazing I met my manager and supervisors at the start and I told them about work and then I started work and got to meet several of my co-workers before then finishing my shift. As I walked out the building I bumped into two of my co-workers, Daniel and Ashley who invited me for drinks at a bar a few blocks from work so I decided to accept their offer.

They were very nice people, Daniel was born in Los Angeles and moved here two years ago to get away from his family and Ashley was born in Seattle and started at the photography firm as an intern. We shared a few stories and they gave me a run down on what I will do at work in the future before I decided to call it a night and started to make my way to the bus stop until I spotted the last bus leave the stop.

"And I thought my day was going great" I sarcastically said to myself as I sprinted to try and catch the bus which I was unsuccessful at which meant I had to walk home. I was only two blocks away from my apartment when I spotted a dark figure looming behind me from a slight distance, I thought nothing of it at first but they began to approach me quicker which lead to stupidly starting pacing through an alleyway which lead straight to my apartment but then I turned around to find the mysterious figure missing until a felt a force pin me to a wall. It was a tall male around 6"3 and he had black long hair and his eyes were red.

"I don't want any trouble I'm just trying to get home" I said to the intimidating male as I tried to reason with him.

"Neither do I, now just stand there, like a good human" he said angrily towards me while tightening his grip against my chest. I attempted to retaliate but his strength was far above mine as he threw to the ground and then suddenly he bit straight into my arm.

"What...are you...doing" I said as I felt my life force draining from my body but then from the corner of my eye I noticed a couple of police officers spot the man which they then chased as they thought I was dead due to the pool of blood now covering me. I felt my life drift away until I felt this shot of immense pain tear into my body, it felt like my body was being incinerated from the inside, burning my organs and muscle and couldn't move or even scream in pain it hurt that much, then I passed out.

Sorry for the slow start but I felt like I needed to introduce the character and show a bit of his human life in Seattle before the true plot starts. Please give me good criticism as this is my first fan fiction. Thank you