"…We know each other's sentiments, our views are the same: we have fought side by side to make America free, let us hand in hand struggle to make her happy...

Yrs for ever

A Hamilton"

Hand in hand; I wish that was more literal. I wish we could actually stand hand in hand, and be each other's right-hand man. I wish I could hold him; And not just in my dreamland.

I had begun to regret marrying my wife, Eliza. Though she was kind and warm, she wasn't the same as John. We had known each other for years, fought side by side, and knew the most insignificant things, as well as most significant, about each other. I had thought it was just a crush, something that would pass once I found a suitable woman.

I have never been so wrong in my entire life.

After Eliza and I had met, I had talked to John, in person and through letters. He agreed that it would do me well to have such a respectable woman as my bride. Though I knew, through his words and his face, that he wholeheartedly disagreed.

He had asked me once, if I trusted my heart more than my mind. I had said yes, foolishly thinking that I would stick to that answer. It turns out, you can't always believe your heart over mind. I learned that the hard way, when my mind said it would be unrealistic to be with my dear John. They fought that night, at the Winter Ball. Though my heart cried out, my mind reasoned with me.

You won't get far at all, being with some South Carolinian boy who has no merit or wealth. You'd better follow Burr's advice, 'cause he's right.

'If you can marry a Schuyler sister, you're rich, son.' Burrs voice remained in my thoughts. Those words held truth, I would garner more wealth than I'd know what to do with. That's what drove me to leave my closest friend, and into the arms of the middle sister.

Greed, and lust for money rather than love, drove me into my marriage.

I could tell Eliza was more distant, probably because I kept to myself. Locked in my office, writing letters to John, filled with flirtatious promises.

I tried to converse with Eliza, and when we did, she was sweet and lit up. I'm glad that she was happy to talk with me, but… I wish it made me happy, too. I felt like a monster, for not giving her all the attention that I gave John. I knew she was trying hard to be a good wife, and she was.

It was me, though, who wasn't as invested in our marriage. I swamped myself with work, just so I wouldn't have to plaster on a smile and pretend to be an interested husband. We hadn't yet had children, which I was partly relieved for. I knew Eliza wanted them, since her Angelica had written to her, tears scattered across her letter filled with joy over her newborn child.

I couldn't live like that. I tried to think of what life would be like if we had children, but I just… I didn't want that. Not with Eliza, not with my wife.

I wanted a family, of course… but with John.

So, this time, lust for love drove me to talk with Eliza about my desires. My desire to divorce her, so I could be with who I truly loved.

She was saddened, but agreed that there was no spark anymore. She wrote to her father, telling him of our decision. He wrote back within a matter of days, reluctantly agreeing that neither of us should be in a marriage that we don't care for.

She told me that she'd move back home, she'd be fine and would find another suitor. I wished her the best of luck, as I made plans to travel to South Carolina.

We separated on good terms, agreeing to write each other and keep in touch. I left for South Carolina the day after the divorce was finalized.

I was on my way to rapture with the man of my reveries.

A/N: This will most likely be a two-shot, I want to show Laurens and Hamilton getting together. Please leave a review, I love to know what my readers think! :D