I miss you

Chung: DC, Raven: RF

Dear Chung,

it's been two months since you've said my name for the last time.

I refused to accept that you're gone for the first few weeks, but now I just wish you to be happy, happier than you were with me.

You know that I've always loved you more than my own life.

I still do, although that is pointless now.

I know I made a lot of mistakes, all I want is that you know how guilty I feel about it and how much I want you to come back.

Our relationship was wild,a lot of fun and probably the best time of my life.

I f I'd known it earlier, I would've told you earlier about my feelings, maybe we could've spent more time together then.

But I guess I was scared back then.

Anyway, I'm not scared anymore. I would you tell you over and over that I love you.

If you would be here, you knew that I do. You're all I think about, the way you spin around when I called your name and the manner your ponytail would create a perfect circle around you.

The way you closed your eyes when you smiled.

The way you looked at me when I told you that I love you.

The way your hand would find its way to mine at night and how we would fall asleep and wake up holding hands.

The way you looked when you cried, when you laughed, when you were angry.

How you would hug me from behind.

How my lips were trembling and my heart was dancing when we kissed, it never changed. No matter how often we kissed, no matter how wild or how shy, it always set my mind on fire.

How you made me weak and strong at the same time.

I miss it.

I miss every fucking thing about you.

I miss the way I used to wake up, do you remember that you always woke up a few minutes before I did and the first thing I saw was your face? Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. I do.

Then I'd ruffle your hair and pull you close and you'd nuzzle your cute face into my chest.

Honestly, I would do everything to get you back and I'm sorry for all the times I made you feel like I wouldn't.

But I guess you won't ever read this.

You always loved letters, but this one will never reach you.

I screamed so many things at the sky and murmured so many things in my pillow since you're not here anymore, but you won't listen, let alone answer.

Every thing you used to like or do brings tears to my eyes, but I'm smiling while I'm crying.

I'm grateful for the memories and I don't regret a single second I spent with you.

But it was your decision to leave me and to go somewhere else, and although I wish you'd come back with all of my heart, I know you never will.

You can't, that's why.

Why did you die for me?

I just don't understand.

But then again, I would've done the same thing for you.

All my friends tell me that I'll get over it, that in some years, I will look back and smile at your memory.

I still can't quite believe it, but I try to.

I try to relive the happy moments I had with you and to erase the sad ones, yet your face the moment you left won't go out of my mind.

Every time I close my eyes, it's like you never died, like I would open my eyes and you'd sit in front of me again, smile and take my hand, like you used to.

I still hope for you to lie next to me every morning I wake up.

But it never happens.

Please wait for me, and I'll take your hand again and we'll be happy again, like we were.

I'll find you.

Forever in love with you,

Raven

Um, yeah. I was in the mood for something tragic. Thanks for reading and please leave a review!