Okay so I would say that my writing has definitely improved as I learned more. This was originally written as an assessment for my English class but I liked it so I posted it. This is also on my deviant art account under the name kurenda.
Hansel and Gretel Rewrite
Original by Grimm's Fairy tales
Parallel Plots
"We have no bread left!" The husband sighed as he heard his Wife shout, her voice hoarse and rough. "What shall we do? We shall have trouble feeding the children." The husband moved across the room into the kitchen in which his wife stood, looking disgruntled. "We shall have to get rid of the children! We must feed ourselves and cannot feed more." The husband looking unsettled looked at his wife with an unbelieving look, saw his wife was serious and consented uneasily. "How shall we rid of them?" The husband sat in a nearby chair looking uncomfortable. "You shall bring them to the woods tomorrow morning to fetch some firewood and tell them to sit and wait for you, but you shall not return."
"Be quiet Gretel! They'll hear us!" Whispered Hansel to his sister, looking quite annoyed. "I'm sorry! I feel really nervous. We're going to get in trouble doing this." Looking around nervously Gretel chewed the edge of her lip. "It won't matter if we get in trouble since father and mother are speaking of sending us away!" He became quiet after saying this realizing he was starting to be too loud, listening to see if their father and mother were still speaking and hearing whispers, feeling relieved that they hadn't been caught. "They said they will leaving us in the woods tomorrow." "Oh, whatever shall we do Hansel? We shall never return home after this!" Once more quieting his sister looking around to be sure they didn't get caught. "Wait here and I shall be back with something, so that we may find our way home."
Flash-Forward
"However shall we get home now?" Looking worriedly at her brother, a frown on her face. "We shall wait for the moon to rise then you shall see how." A few hours later the moon did indeed rise, as well as a smile on Hansel's face. "Now we can get home! We must follow the pebbles which shine like silver in the moonlight." A smile came to Gretel's face as she turned shining eyes toward her brother looking hopeful then following after him, walking behind him for a few hours till dusk. "We're home! There's the house!" Gretel ran to the door and knocked, waiting for the door to be opened with her brother behind her. "Welcome back! What were you doing sleeping out in the forest! We've been worried sick!"
Earlier
"Here is some bread for your supper. Don't eat it before then it is all you shall have." The wife told the children looking stern and mean. "Come along Hansel, Gretel let us not be late." The husband started walking into the forest with his wife by his side expecting the children to follow. "Hansel why do you keep turning around so?" "I am looking at the cat which sits of the house waving goodbye to me." "Nonsense! That is but the sun glaring on the chimney." They continued to walk in silence listening to the sounds around them. "We are here! Rest children while we gather wood and we shall come back for you." The husband and wife then began to walk off toward the trees, leaving the children alone.