Standard disclaimer for this entire story: The 'verse, and characters belong to the genius, Ms. Harris. I just love her creations so much that I can't get them out of my head even when I'm finished devouring her books, so here I am.

In the silent peace of my home, I hit play on yet another recorded episode of Jeopardy and settled in with a bowl of air popped popcorn and glass of iced tea. Before all of the contestants had even been introduced, there was a knock at the door.

Even without the blood bond, I could tell Eric was on the other side of the door. A series of emotions whipped through me; to say things were complicated between us right now would be an understatement. If we'd still been bonded, I would have felt so much relief at his proximity that every critical emotion I had about him would have been muted. But now, free of the bond, my feelings were completely my own-that still felt like a novel revelation.

In the end, even with all the complexities of where Eric and I currently stood, when I knew he had come to see me, a bit of joy I didn't realize I'd been missing filled me. When I opened the door, eyes as blue as the North Sea met mine. I invited him in and we settled next to each other on my family's well-worn couch. I offered him some bottled blood, which he refused, but otherwise we were silent. My initial joy was quickly losing ground to my worry, sorrow and anger.

Before the question was even fully formed in my mind, I heard myself ask, "Have you only had sex with me since we gave this thing a shot?" My eyes turned to watch his reaction, and something I couldn't identify flashed in his face before it returned to standard vampiric stoicism.

"Why would you ask such a thing?" He didn't sound offended by my implied accusation, his voice was flat, monotone, dry as a summer day in the desert.

"Because it matters. To me. I know you think I haven't been all-in with our relationship-and you're right about that-but part of that is because I was protecting myself." Because I didn't really know how much you cared. I finished the sentence in my head, I knew how trite and baiting for reassurance it might sound if I said it all out loud, but a part of me didn't care enough to stop from saying aloud the first part of the thought. Damned the torpedoes! It can't hurt any worse if I lose him, but maybe, just maybe, if I knew where we stood, I could, and would want to, convince him to pass on Oklahoma's offer.

The dark depression hit me swift and hard. He was leaving me. And there really was nothing that I could do about it. The childish part of me wanted to rescind his invitation and never talk to him again. But I'd left that part of me behind a long time ago, and I waited for his reply.

"Yes."

I'd been so lost in my thoughts it took me a moment to remember the exact question he was responding to. He may have sensed my momentary confusion because he continued.

"I have been faithful to you, because I don't want anybody else." He paused before continuing, "And because I knew it would hurt you." He hesitated with his mouth agape, as if he was going to add more, but in the end he didn't.

His use of the present tense wasn't lost on me.

We sat in silence, looking into each other's eyes, for minutes or maybe hours, I really don't know. I was trying to soak up every moment, in case this was the last time I saw him. He might not want anybody else, but that didn't mean he would go against his maker's wishes.

I studied his chiseled face, memorizing every feature. I soon found myself lost in memories. The first time I met him in Fangtasia, his wink at me outside my hospital window, our kiss at the Maenad's orgy, him giving me blood in Mississippi, our first shower together, the look on his face after he made Bill admit his deceit, his declarations at Rhodes. We'd been through so many life threatening situations, and yet...

Another sentence flew from my mouth without my brain having a say in the matter, "It was the violence. The gore. Seeing what I'd fantasized about, wished for with all my being, come to life but I'd never realized just how gruesome it would be."

His eyes thoughtfully considered mine, "You've seen massacres and death before." And murdered your share of people, I added mentally, but I was glad he didn't say that.

"This was… different," I wiggled in my seat restlessly, and then turned my body so I was facing him with one leg folded up on the couch and the other still on the floor. "Or maybe I'm different. I don't know." I batted down the hatches so my self-pity at feeling like a stranger to myself wouldn't overwhelm me.

A few minutes passed in silence. "You don't want to really be with me," he stated simply. I was appalled and my face must have shown it because he quickly clarified, "You don't want to be with me forever. I seem to be Mr. Right Now," he finished with a smile on his face, but it was pained and painful to see.

"I don't want to lose the sun," my reply rushed from my lips. "Maybe it's the Sky Fairy part of me or something, I don't know, but I can't bear the thought of becoming a vampire and only existing at night."

He had a big reaction for a vampire, he looked genuinely surprised.

"Is that all it is?"

A bit befuddled, I nodded dumbly.

Eric shook his head, his long blond locks swaying with the motion. And as suddenly as he'd arrived, he stood up, gave me a passionate kiss and then walked out the door.

A/N – I think Dead Reckoning is my favorite Sookie book. So, so magnificent! I could leave this as a one-shot, but if there's enough interest, I'd like to continue this fic. (We do have 363 days to kill. ;-) ) I have only written one multi-chapter story before, so it would be a challenge, but with enough support I think I'd be up for it.