The Never Ending Story
Spoilers: Goodbye and Good Luck…in my universe where Sara and Grissom live happily ever after…so there.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone in regards to CSI; the show and its characters belong to a bunch of people who aren't me. I am merely borrowing the characters for my own amusement. Dance puppets, dance.
Author's Note: Hello everyone! I am proud to finally be making an appearance again. This is my fic for the Blockbuster Fic-a-thon at Geekfiction; my prompt was "Soylent Green is people!" This is my first fic in a while, so I'm a little rusty. Hugs and waffles to EllipsesBandit for her super beta magic. And cookies and hugs to Mingsmommy and Grand Falloon for their mad beta skills.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time." Albert Einstein
Challenges had assailed them from the very beginning. Grissom and Sara had endured many challenges prior to their relationship-comments with hidden meanings, ambiguous gifts, and confessions of feelings to a murderer.
Then of course were the challenges during their relationship-his month long absence, a chilling encounter with a serial killer, and her eight month healing journey.
But as soon as they overcame an obstacle, another one was thrown in their way. And tonight was no different, and proved to be one of their most frustrating challenges yet.
"How about I Am Legend?" Sara pointed to the shelf for a fourth time.
"The latest of Hollywood's conventional action blockbusters."
"The Bourne Ultimatum? It was based on the novel."
"I think the only thing the film shared with the novel was the title."
Sara's knuckles turned white as her nails dug into her palm. "Transformers?"
Grissom raised an eyebrow. "A movie based on toys?"
Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and counted to ten. She opened her eyes to find Grissom still perusing the many movie titles.
The joy of spending a Saturday night cuddled together with a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a movie quickly dwindled. What started out as a simple trip to the video store became an exercise in raising Sara's blood pressure.
Deciding on a new approach to his pickiness, she asked, "What do you want to see?"
He showed her the DVD case he currently held. "Michael Clayton sounds like it has an interesting plot. It was also nominated for several awards."
Now it was her turn to quirk an eyebrow. "Which probably means it's strange." She had long given up with what the Academy deemed "the movie of the year," finding many of their choices to be less than entertaining. After skimming the synopsis, she shrugged.
"It sounds okay, but I'm in the mood for something lighter."
She led him a few steps to another shelf. "And if we're going to get something with George Clooney, we should get Ocean's Thirteen." A sweet smile accompanied her words.
Grissom considered her choice for a moment. "I don't know how much I buy into a group of criminals robbing a casino, but I suppose we can come back to these two if we don't find anything else."
His decision-making involved exploring and comparing every possibility, and while that trait was useful when buying a car or a digital camera, it was a tad…well, very frustrating when trying to decided on something as simple as a movie to watch.
They wandered over to the Comedy section when Grissom stopped suddenly. He grinned widely as he noticed one particular title, and at the same time, Sara's eyes widened in horror.
"No way," she said immediately.
"Why?"
"So many reasons." How her husband could go from the crime drama, Michael Clayton to the sport's comedy, Caddyshack, completely baffled her.
Looking at her as if she had asked if he wanted a Milky Way bar instead of chocolate covered grasshoppers, he argued, "There's nothing wrong with it. Caddyshack is a classic."
"Maybe the first or second time. But my college roommate loved that movie, and watched it all the time. I saw it six-hundred and fourteen times," Sara huffed. "I know. I counted."
He tried to point out the unique characters and the film's versatile comedy, but she countered with the annoying way Bill Murray's character spoke and the irritating gopher. That and the fact she had seen it six-hundred and fourteen times.
They managed to get through the rest of the Comedy selection relatively unscathed, with the exception of debating which was more humorous: Airplane! or National Lampoon's Animal House.
Not coming to any decision, the pair moved on. Sara managed to steer Grissom away from the Westerns, while he didn't acknowledge the Romance shelves.
Science-Fiction seemed like a safe area. Surely there was something to satisfy both of their tastes.
Stopping in her tracks, Sara had immediately found something no logical person could deny: Spaceballs. She silently berated herself for not owning such a fine satire. With many of film's quotes filling her head, she turned to Grissom, ready to head up to the register. But he had found something else.
Grinning boyishly, he brightly announced, "Look! They have Soylent Green."
Her mouth was fixed in a straight line. "Really…that's…that's interesting," she replied in an almost monotone voice.
He'd caught a glance of the case she held, and the corner of his lip lifted in that triumphant fashion, much like when he finished The New York Times Sundaycrossword puzzle in ink. "You really think Spaceballs is in the same class as Soylent Green?"
"Of course I do! Anyone can write satire, but only a few people can write good satire."
"That's true. But this movie was a landmark for it's time."
Rolling her eyes, she refrained from laughing. "Please. All of that science-fiction was the same. The hero is set in a futuristic universe with some strange way the human race is living. And when something more unusual happens, the hero discovers a huge government secret, he tries to tell the world, but no one believes him. And the hero ends up dead or living in isolation."
"And what happens here?" she asked. "In 2022 all the natural food is gone and people are being fed with Soylent. And then company's president is murdered, and Charlton Heston investigates, and during the course of his investigation he discovers, 'Soylent Green is people!'" Sara told him dryly.
"It's considered one of the greatest plot twists in film history," Grissom said haughtily.
"Yeah, and so is Darth Vader revealing he's Luke's father," she pointed, gesturing to the nearby Star Wars trilogy case.
Scrubbing a hand down his smooth cheeks, he blew out a sigh. "Why is it that everything I pick, you have an automatic excuse not to get it?"
"Probably the same reason you have for labeling everything I want to watch as 'conventional' or 'predictable' and therefore not worth seeing."
A rapid-fire battle of wills took place as they stared at each other for a few moments. Finally, a short breath escaped through Grissom's nose, and he reluctantly placed Solylent Green back on the shelf…but didn't move until Sara did the same thing with Spaceballs.
They continued to move through the store discussing the historical accuracy of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, why A Few Good Men was a better law drama than The Pelican Brief, and the ranking of Die Hard in realm of action films.
Forty-five minutes after entering the store, they found themselves near the register, but with nothing to rent.
Rubbing her temples, Sara shook her head slowly in frustration. "At this rate, we just should've let the dog pick for us."
Grissom sounded almost horrified, "You want to leave something like this to random chance?"
"Yes. Yes, I do," she answered with force. Suddenly invigorated, she straightened up. "We're going to rent the next movie that someone returns. No arguments, nothing. We'll take whatever it is."
Before Grissom could open his mouth, a middle-aged man walked in the door, sliding a DVD case to the young girl behind the counter. There was no line so Sara immediately shot forward. "Excuse me, but what movie is that?
Glancing at the side, the girl answered, "Best in Show."
"Do you know what it's about?"
"It's about a dog show competition and basically makes fun of the owners." The teenager shrugged. "It was okay. My parents liked it a lot so you might like it too."
Ignoring the last comment, Sara pulled out her wallet, effectively preventing Grissom from saying anything. "We'll take it."
After paying, Sara breathed a huge sigh of relief. She turned to Grissom with pursed lips, daring him to challenge her. He merely nodded before the two left the store.
Linking their hands together, she hummed happily. "Now all we need to do is pick up some cookie dough ice cream and we're all set."
"Cookie dough? I thought we were getting Rocky Road."
Sara also decided they needed to pick up some Excedrin too.
The End