It's dinner time in my house. My wife is just settling the kids down. Izzy is seven, Chris is six, and the twins, Bellini and Bellino, are three. I sit down to eat when there was a knock on the door. Damn businessmen, always coming at the worst times. I stand up and shuffle to the door. The knocks get louder and more urgent.
"Alright alright, I'm coming!" I yell. I open the door to see my best friend, Ed, "Lumpy, what's the matter? You're gonna bust down my door!"
"Eddy, Eddy, I need your help!" Ed cries. Usually he's all upbeat and happy, but right now he seems worried and scared, "Your family's life depends on it."
"Ed, what are you talking about?" I ask, confused.
"Hurry, come on!" Ed grabs my hand and somehow opens what looks like a portal to another dimension.
"Ed, wait!" I cry, but it's too late. Ed jumps into the portal, pulling me along behind him.
I wake up in a strange place. It's all purple and looks absolutely ruined. As I wake up more, I hear the sounds of laser guns being fired. My eyes snap open and I see aliens raging a war against more human-looking creatures. The aliens looked like the monster we dressed Ed up as kids. Upon closer inspection, I see that the humans are guarding a few purple portals- the same ones we came out of.
"Ed, what is this place?" I ask.
"This is the Ghraprite Monster Dimension," Ed explains. He sounds a lot smarter somehow, "The Ghraprite monsters recruited me after that day I dressed up as one of them. I worked for them until I learned they were evil. So I went to work helping the humans. They're defending the portals that lead to our dimension. I learned loads from the humans here, but to keep their work a secret, I had to act like the idiot I had always been.
"If the Ghraprite monsters ever get to the portals, they'll destroy our dimension. Our homes, our families, everything we love. The war has gotten so bad, we needed to recruit more help. You're the first one I thought of."
I'm still confused, staring at my childhood friend. I try to understand what he had been saying, but I was too shocked by what Ed had pulled us into.
"Wait, what's going on?" I ask. Ed re-explains what he had said and now I understand, "So what do we do?"
"Here, take this," Ed shoves a laser gun into my hands. I look at it, trying to figure out how it works. Edd would kill to get his hands on technology like this, "It's pretty simple. Look through the target and pull the trigger. Just like a normal gun."
"Oh, I see it," I nod, "Alright then. Let's kick some alien ass."
The war continues, me and Ed (or as he also started correcting me, Ed and I. Turning into another Edd, he is) fighting side by side. I hardly pay attention to the time until I glance at my watch.
"Ed, it's nearly midnight!" I cry, "We have to get home! Our families must be worried sick!"
"I told mine I'm going out!" Ed yells, throwing a grenade onto the battlefield.
"I didn't tell mine anything, I just left in the middle of dinner!" I shout.
"You head back, I'll follow soon!" Ed says.
"I can't just leave you hear!" I say, "You're my best friend!"
"Eddy, I've been doing this for years, I know what I'm doing!" Ed snaps, "Just go, I'll handle it for now!"
"Alright," I say uncertainly. I head towards the portals and I'm about to head through when a shout catches my attention.
"Eddy!" Ed yells, "Don't tell anyone! This is our secret!"
"Got it," I nod and head home through the portal, appearing in front of my house. The last thing I see before the portal closes behind me is Ed, fighting and shooting aliens. One sneaks up behind him and that's all I see before the portal snaps shut. A lump rises in my throat and I turn back to my door.
"Where have you been?" My wife glares angrily.
"Uh, ok, see, I was…" I try to think quickly.
"Don't even answer," She says, "I know what happened. You skipped out on dinner to go drinking with your friends, is that right? Sleep down here, tonight."
She stomps upstairs and slams the door. I flinch and sigh, laying down on the couch. Sleeping on the couch is a small price to pay for protecting the entire universe.