I've read a few Self-Inserts on here and I'd thought I'd try one. Names not already taken is it? Hope not...

Damn.

It's already been two years since I finished high school. Where does the time go? I'm already 20 and it seems just like yesterday that I was just a freshman still trying to find all my classes. Kinda wish I had gotten that scholarship, working for two years to save up for college hasn't been fun. Ah well. I should turn off my timer before it goes off. I hate that stupid ringing sound. Four years of hearing that at six in the morning, sucks. Even if I wake up at 9 now, still hate that thing. I slap the off button on the top right of the timer and roll out of bed. I need food. I head upstairs , make the turn and walk the rest of the way up. Why did they make the stairwell like that? Whatever. I walk in the kitchen and grab a bowl and some bagged cereal. I wish we hadn't run out of toast strudels yet. They are really good. Making a sandwich with them is totally awesome. I sit down in the bar area and fill the bowl up with cereal, a little to high. 'Cause that's how I roll. I lean over to the fridge and grab out the milk, pour it and munch down. As soon as I finish I put my dishes in the sink and head back downstairs. You know what time it is? Shower time! Mmm. Adventure Time reference. I'm such a kid. I make a left into the bathroom and open the door. I glance quickly at the mirror. Still to tall for it. Being 6' 2" sucks sometimes. Brown hair, brown eyebrows, brown eyes, nice and pale. Nothing new. I turn on the shower and hop in. Nice and clean. I get out, wrap a towel around my self and head back to my room to get dressed. I put on my Tali shirt, put on my Commander Shepard full zip hoodie, and throw on some black pants. I'm totally ready to kill some Geth now. I walk back into the bathroom, brush my teeth, do all that. I glance up at the clock by the door. 10:53. Wow time flies. Well, I think I'll go watch some TV. Not much else to do.

So after a few episodes of Regular Show and Adventure Time, I gaze up at my alarm clock. 11:46. I

need to see when the flight for college leaves tomorrow, don't want to be late. I grab my laptop out from my backpack and flip open the lid. Good.I put it to sleep last night so I don't have to wait forever for it to start up. I open IE and head to . Ah here we are. Good, leaves at 4:38 tomorrow, so I don't have to check in for another few hours. By this time I turn of my TV. This is my last day in this old town. Mise as well make the most of it, right? I grab my essentials, psp, wallet, phone. I'll bring my computer, couldn't hurt. So I shut the lid and stuff it back in my backpack. Living in this small old town has been kind of fun, you know? I mean there is literally no crime, plus its right under the shadow of the Rockies. Lots of really cool sights. But then again, it is as boring as hell. There is nothing to do. At all. Except for maybe hang out with my friends, or play some video games. I head up the stairs, round the corner and walk up to the fridge. Grab a sip of water then head to the laundry room. I open the garage, and hop on my bike, kick up the kickstand and head out.

Well since this is my last day in town, I better make the most of it. Screw the car. I don't like wasting gas. Especially in a small town like this. I can literally bike across it in like 10 minutes. Well anyways, I wonder if they ever finished construction on the new sewer line down on main street. I think I'll go check that out. So I bike down to the end of my block, and come up on the grocery store. I make a right and head down the sidewalk on main street. Well I take it they did, since there aren't any exposed pipes. Hmm, I think I'll go say goodbye to some of my teachers. It's fall so school just started here. Luckily it doesn't start in California for another few weeks. I've got time. I make a left at the stoplight, cross the road and pass the old church. I wonder if that place is still used, I've never seen anyone go in or out of it. I make another left at the end of the street and head to my old middle school. It should be lunch time so class isn't in session. I bike up to the bike rack, jump off and hook up my chain. It may be a small town with no crime, but there still are dumbass teenagers. I head into the main entrance and walk into the office. I sign in, and head down to my old science teachers room. I really liked him, he was a nice guy and always helped me when I had trouble. The door is open, but I don't see him. Must be at his desk on the other side of the room. I walk in, and see... that's not him.

"Uh, hello? Um, do you know where I can find Mr. *******?"

"No. Sorry. He was let go last year."

"Oh. Well nice, uh, meeting you,..."

"Ms. ****"

"Right."

Well that sucks. I wonder what got him fired. Well, I wonder how my old lit teacher is doing. Hopefully she wasn't fired. I leave Ms. ****'s room and head down to the end of the hall. I make a right, walk up the ramp and make an immediate left. Crap. Some other teacher is here.

"Do you know where I can find Mrs. *****?"

"Yes. She is out sick today. I am the substitute."

"Oh,... ok. Bye."

Well crap. So much for saying goodbye to them. I head back out to the office, sign out, and walk out the door. Well I already said my goodbyes to my high school teachers at graduation. I walk up to my bike, undo the lock, and head out. Well, what now. I could go, uh, to the grocery store. I wonder if they still sell Izzys. Hmm. Lets see. I make my way back down past the church, and back up to the crosswalk. I cross the street, pass the sidewalk, and glide down the grassy slope into the parking lot that the sidewalk was on. I make a right and pass the Pizza Hut. They have some good desert pizza there. I might get some later. I end up right in front of the sliding glass doors at the grocery store. I park my bike on the bike rack, lock it up and head inside. I go to the refrigerated section, and what luck! They even have the glass bottled ones. Sweet. I grab an apple flavored one and walk up to the checkout. $3.19, not bad. That's 16 ounces of pure awesomeness. Though, as soon as I leave the store I chug it down within a matter of seconds. Good stuff. Totally worth it. Now for some desert pizza. I leave my bike parked and walk a few yards to the right. Mmm, mmm. Can't wait. I open the door, hear the bell ring as one of the cashiers walks up to the counter.

"What would you like to order, sir?"

"Could I get a few slices of that desert pizza please?"

"Sure. We just made some a few minutes ago, it will be ready in a moment. Anything else?"

"No I'm good."

She fiddles around with the cash register,

"That will be $5.36"

I hand her a ten and nod. I walk over to a nearby table and wait. Not a moment later does shes walk over with a ceramic plate with two slices of desert pizza. Man, that stuff is good. Chocolate sauce with marshmallows and some cinnamon graham crackers. I nod an appreciative smile, and chow down. Man, this stuff is good. After a minute or two I'm already on the next piece. I finish up the last slice. Damn I love this stuff. Ok well, what now? Had some lunch, biked a round a bit. I think I'll head down to the park, its not that far away. I walk back over to the grocery store, unchain by bike and start on my way down to the park on main street. I pass the crosswalk once again, but continue down the road for another hundred yards until I reach the the part of the sidewalk adjacent to the park. I check both ways and quickly cross the road. I shift my weight up when I hit the curb so I don't go flying off the front end of the bike like last time. Man that had hurt. They really should have lowered the curbs on here so I hadn't fallen off. Anyways, I chain up my bike and take a casual stroll into the center of the park. Very peaceful. Except for the cars passing by. I sit down on the bench across from the drinking fountain and pull out my laptop. I'm a nerd, what do you expect? I close the southwest window from earlier. I double click the Mass Effect 3 icon and wait for the option screen. I hit play, and the infamous Bioware logo flashes on screen. You know I never finished my save as a sentinel. I should probably finish that, should only take an hour or two, I'm nearly done with it. Damn, dual Omniblades are awesome. Most people are all "Oh no infiltrator is the best class, you can turn invisible!" Pashaw. Dual Omniblades own all, combined with Tech Armor, that is some serious ass kicking. I select my most recent save and continue where I left off...

Well that was fun. Though it's been a little longer then I had hoped. Ah well. I should probably start back to the house now and check in with southwest. To bad they don't have wifi in the park or I totally would do it here. I exit the Mass Effect 3 screen and glance back at my icons. I'm so OCD about that, ME1, ME2, and ME3 all lined up. Even have the demo for ME2. Heh. I close the lid. Stuff it back in my pack and sling it over my shoulder. I walk back out to the bike rack, but before I get a chance to enter the code a few people from my senior class walk up.

Shit I hate these guys. Immature assholes.

"Hey ******! Nice jacket!"

Oh, you jealous of my Commander Shepard full zip hoodie? You better be because it is totally awesome.

"You jelly?"

Heh.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean ginger?"

The hell? My hair is brown. Maybe with a slight red-ish-ness to it, but still. I still don't get why that is such a big deal anyways.

"Fuck off. Your ruining my last day here. Asshole."

"What was that?"

You heard me. Douche.

"Asshole."

"Hey come here, I want to show you something."

I should punch that guy right in the neck and make a break for my bike. 'Cause that will go over well.
I quickly finish unchaining my bike, but before I can hop on the seat I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Nice bik-"

Before he can even finish his sentence I land a fist right on his neck and he crumples to the grass. Ok time to go. I see his buddies help him up off the ground and they start quickly walking away. Wow. Afraid, much? I still think I'll vacate this area before he decides to come after me. Rather then take a right back towards my house I make a right and travel father down main street. Phew that was close. Now to get the the hell away from here befo- I turn around to see him and his buddies in his beaten up old pickup revving the engine and heading right towards me.

Shit shit shit shiiiit!

I start pedaling with all my might down to the next turn and quickly make a right turn down into the older sections of town. Got to get away from this ass. I glance over my shoulder and see him just rounding the turn and speeding up quickly.

Fuckkkkk!

It just had to be a culdesac. No cut-offs into an adjacent street, or even just another road. This won't end pretty. The sound of that old diesel engine is getting way to close for comfort. I look back and he is less then 20 yards away by this point.

FUCK!

And he doesn't look like he is going to slow down either. He's getting closer, I look back and it can't be more then 15 yards. 10 yards. 5 yards. Crap. I look back one last time to see him clip my whole back wheel as the rusted grill of his old pickup smashes right into my face. Then blackness.

Did he just kill me? Because I called him an asshole? Just becau- ow. Ow. OW! My head is throbbing really bad. No, that is a drastic understatement. It is almost like I got hit in the face by a tru- oh wait. That's what happened. Well at least I'm alive. I guess. Shit it fucking hurts. And why the hell can't I see anything? What, did it make me blind or something? And damn, why is the floor so cold? I know it's concrete but still. Wait. This isn't concrete, its metal.

The fuckjust happened?

Well at least my sight is starting to come back. But shit it's bright. Need to let me eyes adjust some. Maybe if I just sit here for a little while. The throbbing though. Shit.

I slowly start to blink my eyes. It's kind of gloomy here. Hmm. Last I checked it was like 3:00 or something. Wait I see some light. Out there? Am I in an alleyway? Must be. I need to see what the hell is going on. Maybe if I ask some people out there. I begin to stand up, with a slight limp. Ow. I think my shin has been sprang. Damn. Just need to find som-

HOLY CRAP!

I back into the alleyway in sudden shock. Was that, was that an Asari? I'm delusional. Fucking awesome. Wait. Woah woah, a Salarian? Am I, dreaming...? I walk back out from the alley, and take a hard look around. I don't know if I should be pissing my pants or having a nerdgasm. This looks like, no couldn't be, am I on the Citadel?