This is my second songfic from AFI They inspire the crap out of me.
I'll set this one up for you.
It's set in twilight, when Bella wants to touch Edward's face, but fights the urge. There are some parts from New Moon (I'm not using any lines from it, or Twilight, just the story in that part will be from it) And multiple POV Also, there is a spot where it's Carlisle and Edward, right before Edward runs away. I forgot the author name, but I read this amazing oneshot in which Edward tells Carlisle he's leaving after that first fateful day in Biology the title is called Watching him fold, and if the author of that story is reading this, I'd like to say thanks.
I do not own these characters, or song. Though, I'd LIKE to own Davey Havoc.
--Devina
Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything
Or were you sent to save me?
I've thought too much, you won't find anything...
Worthy of redeeming
EPOV
I watched her grip the side of the table, like she was trying to keep her hands busy. It then hit me that she wanted to touch me. I looked away, back to the dreadful movie. Why we even had to watch this outdated movie was beyond me. I looked at her through my peripheral vision all class period, memorizing her face, and tuning my thoughts to her heartbeat.
How is it that she deserved to be in my life? I should say my existence , it wasn't much of a life anymore. Even my "siblings" agreed that I was too lifeless anymore. Why is it that I deserve somebody as beautiful as her to be interested in me. A lot of other people were interested in me, but she was different. She didn't want me like most did. She had a gleam of care in her eyes, instead of the lust that usually fills girls' eyes around me.
Why does such a beautiful creature care for something such as me? I'm not worthy of her. Redemption and happiness are something for humans, with beating hearts, and blood -not venom- pumping through their veins.
End scene
To... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away
BPOV
Day 3 of my catatonic state
Dear Journal
I can't believe it's been 3 days since he left me. Only 3 days ago my life became nothing. It feels like 3 years journal. You're the only one I will speak to now. Even though you can't hear me, I'm grateful for you being here. I feel as if the hole in my chest is reaching max size, and the edges are on fire. This cold fire burns me, constantly reminding me of what happened. I refuse to eat unless necessary, I've already begun to lose weight, and Charlie worries about me. But the one person I want to care, doesn't.
I feel dead inside, yet more alive than ever. This fire inside me is something I've only felt once before. With..him. Every nerve in me aches with loss, yet I feel, numb. I lay in here on my bed all day long.
-Until tomorrow,
Bella
End scene
Imperfect cry, and scream in ecstasy
So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully
Now watch as it destroys me
To... break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart awayBreak down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away
EPOV
As we drove away from Forks --away from the one I love-- I wished now more than ever that I could cry. I guess my emotions must've been bad, because Jasper, Esme, Carlisle and Alice were at least 50 miles behind me, Emmett and Rose. I had to let Rose drive my Volvo as I broke down, crying out in anguish. Screaming in the pain of doing the right thing. So what now? What becomes of my existence without her?
This relationship was so beautiful, she was so beautiful. I should have stayed behind the first time
-Flashback-
CPOV
"Doctor Cullen, your son is here to talk to you, he says it's an emergency." Oh no, what could he have done? Will we need to move already?
He knocked on my door. "Come in son." I have to admit, I'm shocked that it was Edward, and not Jasper who came through the door. "Thanks Dad, real encouraging." What is it you came to tell me? I thought to him "I've found my singer." Who is it? "You remember the Chief's daughter? He said she was coming. Well, she's in my biology class." A human, you're sure now? "Positive. I'm leaving Dad, I'll be in Denali."
EPOV
I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all behind, and never said goodbye
I left it all to die
As I drove away from Forks, I couldn't help but feel I was giving up. I knew it was for the better. I couldn't resist that long. I knew if I stayed, it'd be the end of me. I'd ruin all my family has worked for. I had to do this for them. I didn't say goodbye to any of them before I left. After I told Carlisle I was leaving, I got in my Volvo and drove.
-End Flashback-
With Rosalie driving, we made it out of Washington in record time. Where we were going, I had no clue, we knew we had to leave. I envisioned her perfect face one more time. That was it for me. I shrank to the depths of my mind. I heard nothing, I saw nothing, I felt nothing. I was destroying myself for her. I knew it was better this way. But I would be forever nothing.
I saw its birth, I watched it growI felt it change meI took the life, I ate it slowNow it consumes me
I remembered the first time I saw her. The birth of the relationship. I watched her love for me grow. It changed me. I became more social. My family noticed too. The life of this relationship was longer than it should have been. Guilt consuming me, I curled into the fetal position and let thoughts consume me instead, adding to the immense pain of loss I already felt.
End Scene
I... break down, and cease all feelingBurn now, what once was breathingReach out, and you may take my heart away
BPOV
February 23
Dear Journal,
I woke up today. My catatonic state is over. I started noticing things again. The hole in my heart is still there, it reminds me I'm not dead. I woke up for Charlie's sake. He was getting worried about me. I'm sorry I haven't written lately, I haven't done much lately now that I think of it. Ever since he left.
--Until Tomorrow,
Bella
End scene
Break down, and cease all feeling
Burn now, what once was breathing
Reach out, and you may take my heart away
... Heart away
(Quick A/N This is in New Moon when Bella's drowning. She's already in the water, and close to death)
My eyes burned, my throat burned, but I was more at peace than ever. I was finally getting what I longed for all those months ago. Death. My lungs burned as they begged for air. When I saw the sight that appeared before my eyes, I gasped, letting more water into my lungs, increasing the feeling of burning.
I stared at Edward, in all his perfect glory. It's funny how when people drown in movies, its' so short, but this felt like an eternity. I stared at him for what must have been days, wondering what he would do if he were here now. He would probably jump in and save me, and tell me not to give up.
The hole in my chest reopened as I took a breath not remembering where I was. I could feel my heartbeat slowing, and knew it wouldn't be long. My mind followed, all thought numbing. All I had left were my senses. I saw his godlike shape, glowing like an angel. My angel. Who I would never see again. I took my last burst of energy to swim toward my hallucination. I put my hand on its chest, and it started to float away, reaching out toward me, toward my chest. I felt my heartbeat stop. My vision turned to black, and I became numb. I heard the water rushing around me as I sank toward the bottom.
Nobody was coming to save me. With that last thought, I let my mind drift toward peace as I left my body.