This is a crack fanfic that has no bearing whatsoever on The Final Enemy or any of my other writings. This is just something I got to wondering about and decided to write.

"You have to tell her the truth."

The youngest of the Shitennou sighed and looked at Nephrite, "She might not be Jed's fiery priestess, but her cold can be just as frightening. She'll hate me."

Jed rolled my eyes, "I've seen her when she's irritated with you. I think I'd rather deal with Bridget, thank you very much. But Neph's right, Zoi. You have to tell Amelie. She deserves that much."

"I don't see why I should…" Zoisite crossed arms over his chest and pouted. It was really annoying when the others chose to gang up on him.

Kunzite simply raised an eyebrow, not saying anything. Zoisite looked away, not able to meet that look.

"I can't."

"You're one of my Shitennou, Zoisite. That means you're not a coward. You can do this."

He sighed and dropped his head into his hands, "I hate you all."

"Aw, Zoiy!" Jed grinned, "You know we love you, freak."

Kunzite glared at Jadeite, "You're not helping."

Nephrite sat beside the youngest of the group, "Zoi, you love her. It's clear to all of us that she's not just one of your normal play things."

Zoi snorted, "Come on, you guys know better than that. I like playing around. She's just more challenging than my other conquests."

Kunzite spoke softly, "I saw the ring, Zoisite."

Zoi's eyes widened and he sighed, "Fine, fine. I love her. But she'll hate me."

Mamoru grinned, "So you were planning on going through the marriage lying to her? Or surprising her on the wedding night?"

Zoisite once again buried his face in his hands in frustration. "I really do hate you all." There was a moment of silence before he looked up to Jadeite, "Will you have your fire bird defrost me?"

Jadeite grinned, "I'll try!"

Amelie was walking through the palace, heading back to her own quarters after a long day of treaty negotiations. While it came as a surprise to many who knew her, Amelie hated diplomacy. Sure, she could stay calm, or at least appear to do so, and her answers were always carefully worded to avoid insults, but the truth of the matter was that the absolute stupidity that tended to rule the other diplomats drove her crazy. She could not understand how they could be so blind to the facts and reality.

Her thoughts were dark as she headed to the safety of her quarters and it was the promise she had made to herself of a long bath that was keeping her from freezing the halls as she walked.

She was so focused that she jumped a bit, startled, when she felt someone grab her elbow. Seeing who it was, the Mercurian smiled, a blush coloring her pale cheeks.

"I'm never going to grow tired of that."

"You're horrible, Zoi."

"I know, but I also know just how much you love it."

Amelie rolled her eyes, not affirming his words, but not bothering to deny what they both knew was true either. They walked in companionable silence for a while, Amelie's thoughts brightening a bit as they did so.

"Amelie?" The princess turned to look at the man she loved, blinking rapidly at the tentativeness she heard in his voice as well as the fact that he had not called her "Ames."

"Yes, Zoisite?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "We need to talk."

Amelie frowned and her steps faltered. She had known that eventually he would tire of her, that he would eventually leave her. She had not expected it to happen quite yet. "Ok."

Zoisite noticed the frown and grabbed the young woman's waist, pulling her close to him, not worried about scurrying servants who would see or the blush that he knew would stain her cheeks at a public display of affection. "I thought you'd gotten past this doubt, Nymph. I love you." Before she could protest, he grabbed the back of her head and pulled her in for a kiss, to prove his point.

When they separated, Amelie's face was scarlet, though Zoisite was sure that only part of that was her constant blushing and part of it was being flushed from the kiss.

"But… you said that we need to talk."

"Yes, we need to have a conversation. I take it we were heading to your quarters?"

Amelie nodded.

"Good." Zoisite smiled, trying to feign the confidence he did not really feel.

Once they reached her quarters, Zoi guided Amelie over to her own couch, "You'll want to be sitting."

Amelie frowned, but did sit. She noticed that Zoisite began pacing. "You're making me nervous, Peacock."

Zoi grimaced at that nickname. Usually, he exalted in it, especially when it came from his Ames' lips, but right now it was rather painful to hear.

"Amelie, I love you. I need you to know that before I say anything else. To understand just how much I really love you."

Amelie nodded, "I know. I'm sorry that I doubted. It's just…" She smiled, "It's just hard to believe that you could have any woman you want and you want me. I'm not used to… to that."

Zoi sighed, "And one day, I will personally teach a lesson to every man who made you feel that way."

"Zoi… what's going on?"

"I need to tell you something, Ames. And it's not easy for me. To be honest, I'm a bit afraid of how you're going to react." He sighed, "I don't want you to hate me, Amelie."

The blue haired genius blinked, "I… I could never hate you, Zoi."

"Don't be so sure of that." He sighed, "The only ones who know the truth are the guys. And my parents. No one else knows, but I should have told you sooner. I should have told you as soon as I knew that I loved you, as soon as I realized that you weren't some challenge." He closed his eyes, not able to look at her for a moment, and needing to gather his courage to admit his secret to the one person who could hurt him the most because of it.

Amelie sat quietly, waiting patiently.

When Zoi finally gathered the courage, the words still came out quietly. "I'm… I'm a woman."

Amelie blinked, "Oh. Yeah, I know."

Zoi's jaw dropped as he – he might be female but he still tended to think of himself in masculine terms – looked at his beautiful Nymph. "You know?"

Amelie giggled, "Your biometrics were off. It took me a moment to figure out why that was, but yes, I know. I haven't told anyone. And while the other girls seem to think that you're a feminine man, I think even Rei perceives your aura as masculine."

"You don't hate me?"

She shook her head, "I told you, I could never hate you."

"You've known the whole time."

Amelie nodded.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"That I'm in love with a woman?" She shrugged, "It actually made some things I'd always wondered about make sense. I do wish you'd told me sooner, but I figured you would when you were ready."

Zoi just stared at her.

"I am curious though… I mean..." She blushed, "I know that you've been with other women… how did you keep your secret?"

Zoi smiled, "Want me to show you?"

"I've wanted that for a while…"

Zoi sighed and moved to the couch, gathering the small woman into his arms, "Ames, Nymph, I didn't want to lie to you that way. I wanted to be with you without hiding. And I promise, I've not been with anyone else since I've met you."

Amelie smiled and laid her head against his chest, "I know." She looked up at him, "Be with me truthfully, and then you can show me your lie."

Zoi laughed and gathered his nymph into his arms, carrying her towards her bedroom, "As my princess commands."