The official rewritten The Darkness Within! I like the storyline, but I epically failed with the other. This is going to be like the first one, just written better. (I hope)
P.S., I came up with the idea for this just after Hollyleaf went in to the tunnels. If it coincides with the actual series to much, well, not my fault.
The gray tom slipped through the trees, full of a crush of different emotions. He loved Squirrelflight, even after all she had done for him. He smashed a paw down on a mouse that skittered across his path. With a quiet snarl he sank his teeth in to his prey, tearing the life from it. His claws sprang out and he was ripping into the still-warm flesh, taking his anger out on the scrap of fur. Why did Squirrelflight have to do this to him?
The night-pelted warrior raced through the forest, following the invisible trail that would surely hold the only hope for her and her clan.
When the gray tom reached the stream, he lifted his head to stare at the sunset, as red as the fire that had consumed the Thunderclan camp. It wasn't the fault of the kits, really, but he needed to make her understand what she had done to him, how she had reached into his chest and ripped out his heart with her cruel ginger claws.
A flicker of doubt pulsed through the hunter as she neared her prey. Surely this wasn't in the warrior code? The Clan comes first. She remembered the teachings of her mentor, Brackenfur, once in the forest, in better times. This was helping the Clan. She hardened her heart and redoubled her speed. Her prey was close.
The tom widened his eyes in shock as the shadow detached itself from the trees and darted at him.
She leaped at the startled gray tom, claws stretched wide. He didn't have time, she could see.
He tried to bring his claws up, but he didn't have time. He stared in to the green eyes of his attacker as she smashed in to him. He lost his footing.
She ducked behind him and sank her teeth in to the back of his neck, tasting the warm gush of blood. He convulsed, and she let his body slip in to the stream.
He sank deeper in to the dark water, his life flowing out of his neck. He could see the twinkle of the first star through the rippling water. He felt his life drift away from his body rushing downstream, then with a jolt he detached completely from his heavy, sodden body and floated into the evening sky.
She washed the blood off her paws, watching as the water turned pink before being swept away. Her clan was safe, and that was what mattered.
..Later..
The silence stretched on for too long as she looked in to her brother's sightless blue eyes, and beside him, the other one's sharp amber ones. Then she whisked around and dived in to the tunnel as the rocks shook free of the roof behind her, sealing her fate.
So yeah, that's the new prolouge. Please review.