The Chaos That Brought Them Together
A Naruto-Neko original one-shot
Sasuke was making out with Sakura after holding her hostage. Tobi waltzed into the room noticing Sasuke and Sakura he happily smiled. "SENPAI, I FOUND A BUNNY!" He screeched out.
Deidara walked into the room and tilted his head. "Tobi you retard, that's not a bunny, that's Sasuke about to rape bubblegum!"
Hidan walks into the room looking at Sasuke and Sakura making out, shocked, he yells, "SASUKE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY!"
Itachi walked into the room hearing Hidan's outburst, "Hn," he grunted.
Sasori stood in the room and skipped up to Itachi, smiling like a little girl. "Itachi-kun, do you like bananas?"
Kisame walked into the room yelling.
"YO YO. Dude, what's up with emo boy?" he asked, taking a glance at Itachi's depressed face.
"Shut up, salmon," he said.
Kisame glared at Itachi. "EMO BOY, IT'S FREAKING TUNA, NOT SALMON!" he screeched like a banshee.
Tobi happily skipped around the room throwing flowers from a basket claiming to be 'spreading the love'.
"SENPAI! WHAT'S THIS?" asked Tobi holding up frilly pink knickers and putting them on his head. Deidara sighed and grabbed the underwear.
"Tobi, this is Sakura's," said Deidara, Kisame snatched the frilly knickers from Deidara.
"Then why is Itachi's name stitched on the back?"
Sasori let out a girly giggle and grabbed the knickers, stretching them between his fingers.
"Can I keep them?" asked Sasori. Itachi gasped, grabbing the knickers from Sasori.
"They belong to a friend!" Itachi growled.
Gaara walked into the room, and Tobi pranced over to him, happily embracing Gaara.
"PANDA-CHAN!" he squeaked.
Neji walked into the room in a towel, reeking of hairspray.
"Sasuke do you have a comb-oh…"
Tobi releases Gaara and begins to play with Neji's girlish hair.
All of a sudden, Sasuke and Sakura, still embracing, are surrounded by the Akatsuki, as well as various other random shinobi. Kakashi appeared in the room with an Icha Icha paradise book in his right hand.
"Yo," he said, suddenly seeing Sakura and Sasuke he begins to clap excitedly.
"YES SAKURA-CHAN YES YES!" he squealed.
Tobi begins to play with Neji's towel. He suddenly pulls it off, running around the room with Neji's towel in his hands followed by a naked Neji chasing him.
Sai appeared next to Kakashi, taking in the scene before him; Sasori, Kisame, Deidara and Itachi arguing over underwear, Sasuke and Sakura in a deep make out session Kakashi cheering Sakura on and Tobi running around with Neji's towel in his hand followed by a naked Neji chasing him
Sai put on his fake smile and Pein walked in, also taking in the scene before him, his eyes widening.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON YOU RETARDS?"
Gaara blinked twice and sat on the floor, beginning to meditate.
"Do you idiots realize you could-" Pein was interrupted buy Gaara's meditating.
"Ummmmmm," hummed Gaara.
Pein shook his head, "Shut up; is there any reason to meditate NOW?"
Gaara blinked and stood up, leaving. Tobi embraced Pein in a hug still holding Neji's towel.
Neji was caught standing in the middle of the room for all to see.
"WHAT IS THAT?" Screeched Deidara pointing at Neji accusingly.
Pein took one look at Neji "Little girl, why are you naked?"
Sasuke broke away from Sakura causing Kakashi to sulk.
"Why are you idiots here?" he hissed taking a good look at everyone in the room pausing on Neji, then shaking his head as if it was an illusion.
Sasuke suddenly saw Itachi, growling he ran towards him grabbing his underwear teasing him with it.
Itachi arched an eyebrow "Sasuke, I saw your lacy leopard print ones," Itachi smirked knowing he had hit a nerve.
Sakura gasped and Sasuke turned around.
"No no no no, sakura it's not what it looks like!" he said holding his hands up in defense.
Sasori chuckled. "I could take those off your hands Sasuke," he said smiling as if he'd said nothing out of the ordinary. Sai looked at Neji before smiling his perverted fake smile.
"Neji, you're a girl aren't you?" said Sai giggling. Sasori looked at Sai and Neji before playing with his fingers and skipping up to them.
"Neji, I can fix that problem you have there," he said pointing in the process. Neji turned several different shades of red.
"Shut up, Sasori you pervert!" he screeched causing Sai to wince.
Sasori giggled "I could trade your parts for one of my puppets..." Sai held his stomach and began laughing uncontrollably.
"Neji, the puppets are more developed, maybe you should listen to Sasori," said Sai trying to hold back his laughter.
Hinata appeared in the room after wondering around aimlessly because she couldn't find Neji anywhere, she suddenly notices the Akatsuki members being complete idiots. Pein scolding Gaara, Deidara and Kisame laughing at Itachi and Sasuke arguing over their underwear, Sai and Sasori laughing at a naked Neji, Tobi running around with Neji's towel, Sakura staring at Sasuke and Itachi with tears in her eyes and Kakashi just casually reading Icha Icha Paradise.
Hinata turned bright at the sight of Neji before saying, "Neji why the fuck are you naked?" she asked before realizing she had cursed and fainted.
Everyone turned their attention to the petite girl on the floor; they shrugged and turned back to what they were doing.
Pein gave everyone in the room death glares in the room but were ignored. Kakashi strolled up to Sai, Sasori and Neji.
"Kakashi, tell them my parts are normal!" screeched Neji. Kakashi smiled causing his eye to crinkle.
"I would, but your parts really aren't normal, Neji," Sai grinned and turned to Sasori.
"Are your parts normal?" Sasori blinked twice and turned to Sai.
"My body is a puppet, but we can make this work," said Sasori smiling at Sai causing him to shudder.
Ino walked into the room, a radio on her shoulder. "Hey people!" she screeched. Everyone turned her way, and Kisame rolled his eyes.
"Great, another blonde idiot isn't Deidara enough?" he hissed. Ino gave him the finger and set the radio down turning it up. Tobi noticed the music playing and begun to do the sprinkler in the middle of the room, Pein staring at him as if he was an alien.
Tobi bounced up to Pein. "PEIN-SAMA, DANCE WITH ME!" screeched Tobi as he started doing the running man. Pein cocked an eyebrow.
"Dan-cing?" He asked tilting his head, confused. Tobi nodded excitedly and showed Pein the running man, demonstrating it. Pein nodded and begun to dance with Tobi, everyone's attention was turned to the two people A.K.A idiots dancing in the middle of the room, quite shocked that Pein was also doing it.
Konan walked into the room causing all the men to stare at her, Itachi and Sasuke holding the pink frilly underwear in the middle, Itachi released it causing Sasuke to be holding it. Sai and Sasori not even noticing Konan's presence due to their 'conversation'.
Sakura tugged Sasuke out the room to yell at him for having lacy leopard underwear and for fighting over the pink frilly ones with Itachi.
Ino wolf whistled as Sakura and Sasuke left the room causing everyone to snicker.
"SHUT UP INO-PIG!" she screamed from outside the room
Deidara looked at Itachi. "So... why do you and your brother keep women's underwear?" he asked trying not to laugh. At this Kisame snorted.
"Shut up, Blondie," snapped Itachi. Deidara put a hand on his hip, posing and clicking his fingers three times in different places.
"I could say the same to you, woman," replied Deidara moving his head in a circular motion
Deidara was suddenly tackled to the ground by Sasori, Deidara screamed in response.
"RAPE, RAPE, KISAME HELP ME!" Kisame rolled his eyes at the distressed… almost damsel.
"It's Sasori you idiot," Deidara's eyes widened.
"EVEN WORSE, KISAME!" He screeched.
Sasori licks Deidara's cheek. "YOU ARE MY TRUE LOVE, DEIDARA!" Shouts Sasori. Pein stops dancing and looks at the two completely disgusted. Sai felt the anger inside him boil and gets pissed off, and he walks out of the door.
Ino walks up to Deidara causing Sasori to flop to the side of him. Deidara stands up brushing the dirt off of his robe.
"Oh no, you did not just steal my moves!" she said raising her oh-so-perfect eyebrows.
Deidara smirked "Oh yes I di-id…?" he said.
Tobi looked at Deidara and Ino entirely confused, he looked back and forth.
"Hey Blondie's!" shouted Kisame.
"WHAT?" They screeched in unison.
Kisame looked at them "You could be twins!" said Kisame.
"Me his twin? Oh come on, Anchovy, even you know he has no style in fashion!" said Ino posing as if there were hundreds of paparazzi wanting to take her picture.
A loud scream was suddenly heard from a familiar voice, Sakura. Itachi's eyes widened as he opened the door running out screaming.
"OH SHIT, HE'S SADISTIC AND CREEPY AND A WANNA-BE-VAMPIRE!" He said running down the hall where everybody thought he was going to save Sakura from the 'Vampire'.
Soon enough some crashing was heard, everyone turned their attention to Sasuke and Sakura walking through the door, Itachi travelling behind them. Tobi stood Sasuke and Sakura in the middle of the circle of everyone and sprinkled flowers
"You may now kiss the bride, you sadistic, creepy bunny!"