Okay, so Marrowfrost was going to work more on Flames of Fury/Wildfire today, but...something a little too personal to share came up and I needed to write out a vent story. I hope you all can excuse Marrowfrost here for writing this probably stupid and horrible story. She just really needed to vent and she caught everyone else up in this mess. *Sighs* Just...please don't yell at me for this.
Lostleaf sat down beside the riverbank, thinking to herself. This was the only place were she could think clearly, or get her thoughts together. I can't...I can't do this anymore... Her eyes drooped as she thought that. Why do I still want to be in a Clan, anyways? Nothing Lostleaf could ever do would impress her Clanmates. She couldn't hunt properly, she couldn't fight properly and she couldn't talk properly. Each time I see someone, all I'm reminded of is how stupid I am.
The river rushing by reminded her of Fallowheart, who had drowned the same day Lostleaf was born. Why did StarClan spare me? Why couldn't I've died with the rest of my littermates? Her Clanmates had resented her because of this and many more reasons. Her own mother named her Lostkit, because of RiverClan's loss. Lostleaf fought back the tears welling up in her eyes. StarClan, why couldn't've you taken me with you?! She wanted to wail. But she couldn't, or that would alert her Clanmates where she was. I can't deal with them right now. I need to be alone.
"Why is it that everyone does better than me...?" Lostleaf whispered. "Everything I do I fail at..." Lostleaf's mind drifted back to when she was an apprentice under Gorsefall's mentorship.
Lostpaw tried to dodge Sleekpaw's paw, but she couldn't move in time. The young tom batted her in the head, causing her to fall on the ground. Lostpaw attempted to get up, but she barely could before Sleekpaw yanked on her tail and flung her to the other side. Her eyelids were drooping, trying to tell her to give in and stop. Sleekpaw was now closing in on her, glowering at her. Lostpaw could barely move. Sleekpaw then held his paw up in the air, ready to claim his victory. But when she looked up, she saw his claws were unsheathed.
"Sleekpaw! That's enough!" Wildchaser hissed. "Leave her alone for now!" Sleekpaw cast one last glare at Lostpaw before stalking off. Wildchaser's eyes narrowed into slits. "Don't expect mercy next time." The apprentice/mentor duo walked away from the training clearing. Lostpaw could barely stand up, even though she didn't want to anyways. What was the point? She'd get beaten up regardless if she went back to camp or stayed.
Gorsefall trudged towards his apprentice. He stopped as soon as he was close enough to her. Gorsefall's eyes showed anger and disappointment in them. He brung one forepaw up with his claws unsheathed, and scraped Lostpaw's muzzle and forehead. Lostpaw could feel the blood trickling down her face.
"You are a disappointment to RiverClan, Lostpaw. I wish Sedgetail hadn't of had you with that mangy rabbit-chaser." Gorsefall growled before turning back to camp. "You will catch enough fish to feed the whole Clan as your punishment."
It's a miracle I managed to become a warrior. Lostleaf had heard rabbit-chaser many times before. But she wasn't just RiverClan and WindClan; she was ShadowClan, too. Her father, Whiteburr was also a half-Clan cat. He was both ShadowClan and WindClan, burdening Lostleaf even more. Not even the tiniest kit would trust me, not when they learn about my origins. Lostleaf had heard so much of "That stupid cross-breed will never do anything right" or "She's too impure to be alive" that she now genuinely believed it. What good is living with others if all they do is insult you?
Lostleaf heard pawsteps from the other side of the river. Who's that? She saw a cream tabby she-cat right in front of her. I've never seen her before. The she-cat smelt of ThunderClan. The cream tabby had seemed to notice Lostleaf.
"Oh? What's a RiverClan cat doing here all by their self?" The tabby asked. She doesn't seem hostile at all. She seemed to notice Lostleaf's gloomy expression. "Is everything alright?"
"I don't want to be in RiverClan anymore," Lostleaf sighed. "They all hate me because I have blood from three Clans. I can't stay there anymore."
"You're not the only one." She murmured empathetically. "No one in ThunderClan likes me that much because of my ShadowClan blood. In fact, I came here to run away."
Lostleaf waded across the river, which wasn't all that hard. "Are you planning on becoming a loner, then?" The she-cat nodded. "In that case, may I join you? Cats like us should stick together."
"Yes, we should." She agreed. "I'm Honeycloud, formerly of ThunderClan." Honeycloud meowed softly.
"And I'm Lostleaf, formerly of RiverClan. Pleased to meet you." Lostleaf responded back.