A/N - Ayyyy, my first 5-1! We're making history here!
Anyway, I'm small and full of rage so I decided to write a series of fix-its for the last few episodes of the Umbrella Academy. I knocked out the most obvious one first, letting Vanya out of the cell, so I have no idea what the other four saves are going to be. Please review and tell me what to do so I can actually finish this.
Disclaimer - How I wish I owned it.
Let her go.
Luther sighed. "I can't do that. She hurt you."
Klaus glanced back at Vanya, inside her big metal cage. She was sobbing and pleading wordlessly behind the thick glass of the window, and didn't exactly look like a threat. If anything, Luther, with his big imposing form, seemed infinitely more dangerous.
Klaus looked back towards Allison. On the other hand, Vanya had supposedly slit Allison's throat, which was, like, a step up from choking someone, but Luther also locked Vanya in a big pointy box and threw Klaus across a room, so it kinda evened out. Plus, of all the places the big gorilla could have ended up and gotten high after the first chokey incident, it had to be a freakin' furry rave. Klaus died surrounded by furries. Furries. It was undignified, even for him.
On the other-other hand, Klaus was really tired of all this broody family drama. It was bad enough when it was only Diego and his weird police thing. He was like a discount Batman, except instead of being a billionaire he was poor and lived in a gym, and instead of Alfred the badass-butler, he had Grace the alright-android.
So Klaus cracked his knuckles, bounced up and down a couple of times, then fell over and hit his head on the door with a rather loud bang that got everyone's attention.
"Uh, is he okay?" said Diego, a little worried but mostly annoyed. Either Klaus had some brilliant plan that would simultaneously stop the end of the world and get Luther to shut up, or he was high again.
It was probably the second one, to be honest.
Diego looked up at Luther, who had stopped having his one-sided conversation with Allison and was now staring at the unconscious Klaus with a bewildered expression Diego was sure was reflected on his own face.
Allison tapped her note pad, getting their attention. Check him, idiot.
Luther pointed at himself, as if to say me? I'm the idiot?
Allison nodded, as if to say yes, idiot.
Diego facepalmed, as if to say idiots.
Vanya looked thoroughly confused.
Luther hesitantly bent over Klaus, looking back at Allison before touching a massive hand to Klaus' shoulder. Which, of course, prompted Klaus to sit up and kick Luther in the balls. He bent over, wheezing and cursing. Klaus bounced up and practically flung himself at the door to Vanya's cell. "Psyche!" he yelled, throwing all of his weight onto the big wheely knob that opened the door.
Vanya just sort of stood there for a second, staring at Klaus, but then she snapped out of it and started banging on the glass again, yelling what looked like nonsense but probably sounded something like "Way to go, Klaus! Give him another kick for me!"
Diego decided to do as Vanya (might've) said, and kicked Luther in his Sensitive Parts once again, just as the poor guy was starting to recover, effectively disabling him for the next sixty seconds or so. Diego then joined his now favorite sibling at the door and helped him turn the wheel.
"Ow…" wheezed Luther, still on the ground.
Allison walked over and kicked him again, but in the side this time. He was tough, he could take it, but she wasn't that crude. Then, she joined Klaus and Diego (and Ben, but he didn't count) at the door. Finally, the wheel began to turn.
Vanya shouted something that looked a little like "Kick him again," but that might have been wishful thinking on Diego's part.
Then, the door creaked open, and Vanya fell into everyone's waiting arms, sobbing her eyes out. Allison quickly wrapped her in a big hug and started stroking her hair, making weird noises that might have been shushing. Klaus quickly went in for the group hug, resting his cheek on top of Vanya's head. He smiled up at Diego, then yanked him down into the pile of tears and poky elbows. Diego actually had to spit out a bit of Allison's hair. Yuck.
"I'm sorry," wailed Vanya, her voice muffled, face buried in Allison's shoulder. "I didn't mean to, I promise!"
Allison made a distressed whimpering noise, as if to say do something idiots!
Diego patted Vanya on the head in a somewhat comforting manner.
Suddenly, there was a flash of blue light, and Five appeared, standing over Luther (still on the ground clutching his privates) and holding a newspaper. Everyone looked up at him. "What the hell are you dimwits doing?" he said, trying to come across as demanding but ending up more confused than anything. "Why is everyone crying?"
"Oh, well, it's actually really simple," said Klaus, resting his arm on Diego's head. "You see, big brother here," he nodded at Luther. "Decided it was a great idea to lock up little Number Seven in a big pointy cage because he thinks she has powers. Naturally, I kicked him in the bits, which then encouraged Diego and Allison to reveal that they also dreamed of one day causing immense physical pain to the chimpanzee in the room."
Five looked down at Luther, who was once again beginning to recover. He struggled to his feet, using the wall as a crutch. "Five," he wheezed. "I didn't have a choice. Vanya's not-"
Five kicked him in the balls. Hard. With vigor. One might even say he enjoyed it.
He looked over Luther's whimpering form at the remaining siblings. He shrugged. "I didn't want to feel left out."
A/N - Well. That turned out a little different than I planned, but I think I like this better. Everyone gets to kick Luther in his balls (except Ben, poor lil' ghostie), I get to laugh as I write it, and you get to leave a review because I'm desperate for praise! Everyone wins! (Except Luther, but who cares.)