Lori finished her last text for the night. It was a long day, filled with tests she wasn't sure she passed, a fun, but chaotic date with her hot boyfriend Bobby, and dealing with the day-to-day antics of her family. It seemed that life was trying to make the eldest Loud ridiculously tired that day. She yawned a little, before pulling the covers over her shoulders. She was ready to sleep the night away.
Then she felt a poke. She opened one eye, seeing a small tuft of hair from the bed,"Lisa, what do you want?"
"There appears to be a disturbance in the basement. I require your assistance, Eldest Sibling." Lisa whispered.
"... it's probably some pipes or something, get Lana on it." Lori closed her eye again.
"I don't think she can solve this problem alone." Lisa said.
"Then have her bring Lola, and have her annoy the problem away." Lori muttered.
Lisa sighed,"Very well, I don't think I'll get anywhere with you anyway."
Lori smiled as her second youngest sibling got out of her room. That was weird, but not unusual. She was used to being woken up once or twice by her younger siblings whenever things got scary, although she hoped that since the younger siblings had several options, it would mean she wouldn't get bothered by them so much.
She felt herself drift to sleep once more, only to feel two pokes. She opened her eye again, seeing the twins' heads.
"Um, yeah, I'm too scared to go down there." Lana said.
"Me too." Lola gulped.
"..." Lori gave a shuddering sigh,"Then go bother Lucy, she has no fear." She closed her eye again, hoping that her sisters would go to the goth. It was true, she thought, the eight-year old was very enamored with the macabre. Her idea of nightmares weren't monsters or any sort of boogie men, but sunflowers, unicorns, and other happy things. At least, that's what Lori thought. Then she felt another poke.
She glared at Lucy, who said,"Even I have limits, Lori."
"Luc, don't you have a big brother you look up to?" Lori asked,"Have him do some superheroics and make the problem go away."
Lucy looked at her,"Sigh, fine." She turned and walked away.
Good, Lincoln knew better than his younger sisters. After all, he had a decent head on his shoulders, he had good problem solving skills, he was smart! Lori closed her eye again, ready to dream of-
The poking came again. She opened her eye in anger. She was wrong, Lincoln was dumb, very dumb.
"Sorry Lori, but I can't figure out how to solve this problem." Lincoln scratched the back of his head.
"Don't you have a big, strong, older sister that can help?" Lori asked through gritted teeth.
"... Gonna have to be more specific." Lincoln said in a deadpan manner and crossed his arms.
"I mean Lucy's roommate!" Lori gave a harsh whisper. She closed her eye again. Lynn Jr. was tough, daring, and all around brave. If there was an issue, she can solve it, and in turn, let the eldest get some freaking sleep.
Then the poking came again. Lori's eye came open,"Let me guess, can't tackle this one, Lynn?"
"Yeah." The teen scratched the back of her head,"It's kind of embarrassing actually."
"Go bother Luan." Lori closed her eye again,"Have her giggle it away." Giggling at the ghosty, that's what Luan always did for things her younger siblings were scared of. If there was something scary down there, Luan was funny enough to laugh it off!
Of course, then came the poking. Lori opened her eye in frustration,"What."
Luan crossed her arms,"Yeah, I can't laugh this away."
"Luna." Lori said,"Go get Luna."
Luan stood there and frowned.
"What?" Lori sneered.
"You know where this is gonna go right?" Luan raised an eyebrow.
"Human. Pretzel. Luan" Lori turned away from her.
"Alrighty then..." Lori heard Luan walk away. She didn't know what Luan was talking about. Luna was nice. She was level-headed. She was dependable. She was-
Poke.
Dead. Very, very dead.
"Go get Leni!" Lori said without looking.
"I did!" The rocker said immediately.
At this, Lori turned her head and saw Leni waving at her,"Hi Lori!"
Lori frowned, and then sat up in her bed, and got out. She walked over to her golf bag and pulled out her long-iron golf club. Her favorite golf club, long, hard, and thick. She called it Bobby. She turned to the group of siblings staring at her. She noticed that Lily was also there,"Okay, I will go down to the basement, and I will show you that there is nothing bad or scary down there!" She walked out of her room and headed towards the stairs, her siblings following close behind. She stormed to the basement,"Here it is!" She opened the door and stopped.
In the doorway was a large, furry beast. Its fur was purple, with yellow polka dots. Its claws had yellow stripes around them. He had a single long horn on his snout, with was also striped. He had a plate with cake in his hands. He looked at her with big blue eyes,"Do you mind, it's Glorback's birthday down here! No humans allowed!"
Lori stared at him, her eyes widened,"Uh, s-sorry! Um, tell Glorback I said happy birthday!" She gave a nervous laugh, before closing the door. She slowly turned to them,"This... was what you were talking about?"
The group nodded, their eyes as big as saucers.
Lori nodded,"Let's tell Mom and Dad." They then screamed in abject terror and ran up to their parents' room.