*I only believe in the manga version as the true version*
First time writing in this fandom... = ="
Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler.
-Tears of the Moon-
Please listen to Tsuki no ame sang by Ono Daisuke while reading :3
It's a quiet night at the mansion again after Lady Elizabeth had left. I had bathed the tired young master and put him into bed. He didn't say much, seeing as he was exhausted from seeing the robust Lady Elizabeth. Tonight is especially chilly, I had remembered to prepare an extra blanket for the young master, and of course I'd remember to return to his room to add more coke to the hearth before it runs out. As I made this mental note to myself, I walked down the hall to return to my paperwork.
It seems that the young master had taken care of most of the paperwork of the company today, since he was using them as an excuse for not dancing with Lady Elizabeth. I finished the rest of the paperwork and set them aside. It's a strange feeling when I am idle. I had taken care of everything - the paperwork, tomorrow's preparation, menus for tomorrow's meals, salaries for the servants, (fed the kittens)... There was nothing for me to do right now, unless Finny destroy part of the mansion... but that'd be exrtemely unlikely, as he's fast asleep.
Does this mean I have free time? I looked out the window, the moon was high in the sky. It's full moon tonight, the beautiful mistress of the night sky gazing down upon us. Her color is pure white, just like the young master... so gravitative...
I gently put the quill back into its slot, returned the ink bottle and everything else into the drawer, thinking over and over again what I should do next.
As a Phantomhive servant, I should never be idle; because idleness is laziness, and as the butler of the Phantomhive household, laziness is never allowed.
No, the real reason I can't keep myself idle is because I would remember my hunger.
I needed to find something to do, and though sleep is a luxury, it's not so much for a demon with an empty stomach.
I looked outside again, everything seems so peaceful; the roses in the garden calling for me to come down and appreciate them under the bright moonbeam... Ah... since when I start thinking like a lovesick human?
I took out the violin that I had used for the song I played for Lady Elizabeth and the young master's dance. Opening the window, I swiftly climbed out. Sitting on the snow-covered stone rail next to the rose bed, I started playing this song I had heard a long time ago from a composer who wrote it at a full moon night like this one. It's a rhythm I had come to love. Why? I do not know. Who was I playing it to? To the roses, for their beauty; to the moon, for her purity... who did the composer play this to? Was it the moon? Or was it the lover that he never had the bravery to confess to? It all seems so distant now...
On a rainy day, I stood in a garden.
Nonchalantly, it becomes audible –– the sound of a string, while I entrust myself to this body.
Red roses.. Let's crush them.
I had always appreciated the sound of the violin, it's so sad; yet sinfully beautiful. If roses can sing, I am sure their voices would be just like the violin. How can an instrument that is invented by humans be so perfect? Slowly, I let myself indulge in the song... Each note seems to be in sync with my heartbeat, and this strange feeling spread through my chest... I had never feel this before, for as long as I remember in this immortal life... It's as if my heart is somewhere, yet it's here, being tormented by this strange feeling that is threatening to suffocate me...
"Sebastian,"
"Bocchan?" Oh! Was I so careless as not to notice the young master has strayed out of his bedroom? That is what I mean when I say idleness is not allowed! I cannot forgive myself! Now the young master is out in the snow only with his morning gown!
"What are you doing?" His asked calmly with his sweet voice, white smoke puffing out from his mouth. I immediately dropped the violin, took off my coat and wrapped it around the young master, this would not do, I had to take him back inside!
"Young master, we need to get you back inside the mansion- "
"No, you haven't answer my question." He looked at me firmly.
"I was playing the violin." I answered, hoping that he would cooperate.
If his dream continues
The winter's snow, the hearth's fire,
Sleepy breath… Without vanishing,
Let's conceal this body.
"For who?"
"No one in particular, can we please get back inside now? If you stay out here too long you'd catch a cold young master." I calmly pleaded.
"Are you worried that if I catch a cold and die your meal would go up in smoke?" His voice piercing, I do not know if he meant it or not... It's so hard for me to read the young master these days...
"No," I answered honestly, because I cannot lie.
"Let's stay here for a while."
"Yes, my lord."
He motioned me to sit down on the rail again, then climbed onto my lap. I was a little taken aback by his actions.
"I am cold."
I wrapped my arms around his fragile body... he was cold, I tightened my grip and the young master who suddenly breathed on my neck, his voice trembling,
"Now, tell me who were you playing the song to." It was more like an order than a question.
Aa, if this warm time stops,
I'll put it into a memory and continue to gaze only at you.
I pressed his head against my throat, slowly inhaling his scent, his hair felt so soft against my chin...
Aa, if this finger is touching your hair
Like a spider's thread, just… sweetly, yet painfully.
I looked up in the sky again, the moon had gone behind a cloud, hiding its beautiful face... Was her afraid to be compared to the beauty of the young master, knowing that she would lose?
The moon disappears in the deep forest.
The mist's castle, a person's voice.
If this life degrades,
Let's shut our eyes.
"I was playing the song for the young master." I answer honestly, and the moon came out to peek on us again, as if she wants to know what would happen next.
Aa, if the gentle moonlight shines on us,
The lie's fragments hide where we made a promise.
"You lied the first time."
"My apologies, young master."
He looked up to me, with his mismatched eyes, the one bearing our contract glowing on its own, the other one reflecting the moon's smile.
Aa, the contract's beautiful appearance
will once again tonight lead this heart deeply astray.
"You should play more."
"And we should return you to bed." I smiled.
The wind that passes behind a thin alley…
It left behind the whispers of time.
Only our hearts will embrace without being broken.
"Tch."
I picked him up, his tiny frame still covered by my coat. He wrapped his arms around my neck, leaning on my chest, where my secret lies...
When we were at his bedroom again, I put him down on his bed gently, tucked him in again and prepared to leave as I took my coat with me. The empty feeling had returned again, cutting deep into my heart...
"Sebastian,"
"Yes? Young Master?"
"I am still cold."
I walked up to him, sat on his bed side, cupping his cheek with my gloved hand,
"Do you want me to bring you another blanket?" I asked, looking into his deep eyes. He blushed, looking aside. I leaned down, pressing my lips on his forehead, to see if his temperature was normal. I lingered for longer than I should have, but the young master did not struggle. I trailed down to his brows, his nose, than his lips, then I felt his mouth parted longingly, locking with mine... He was so warm, so welcoming... I almost melted into the sensation... I knew I wanted more, but I still pulled away.
"Good night Bocchan," I smiled warmly, truthfully.
"Good night, Sebastian." He returned with sleepiness swimming in his eyes.
I blew out the candle, softly closing the double door. I took a glance at my pocket watch, ah, five more hours before sunrise, it's going to be a long night. The feeling of the young master's lips on mine still lingering, like a scar that wouldn't not stop hurting...
Aa, even without the world meeting morning,
this scar will be permitted and allowed to be worn.
I went outside to collect the violin that I had left behind, the moon had looked after if for me and the roses still beaming.
Aa, wishing… If these feelings are granted,
The light's rain, my body, will be completely broken down.
After all, I cannot feel my hunger in my stomach anymore, it's been replaced by the hunger in my chest.
A/N: Yes, that song is beautiful, I cried the first time I listened to it reading the lyrics.
To me, I feel like this is Sebastian confessing that he, the demon, had fallen in love with Ciel, a human, and his contractee.
Tsuki no ame, the title of the song, translates to "the rain of the moon". To be I think rain means tears, like a symbolism, so the title of this fic, "Tears of the Moon".
And well yeah, it's my first time posting in the Black Butler section, what do you guys think? Too shallow? (meaning that I don't have enough understanding of the characters to write a fic about them). Please R & R. :D
Normally I write in the South Park fandom, where the weed flows free in high school parties, so I am not very used to gothic/emo stuff.
(Really, to me, the freaking n00b, they are the same XD)