I don't own Wicked; just a copy of the book. Wicked belongs to its respective owner.
This collaboration is between me and Kawaii (with references to one Miss Syn'ri). So, without further adieu, our warped minds bring you: The 12 Days of Lurlinemas!
(We own absolutely nothing)
It was a typical Monday morning in December, it was below freezing, it was early, and Panda's anemia was causing her discomfort. It was in English class that a question popped into her head: why wasn't Syn'ri doing her 12 Days of Christmas bit? Panda looked down in her lap at her copy of Wicked, and an idea wriggled its way inside next. Quickly, she turned around in her seat to face Kawaii. Kawaii, who had a cold, turned her head to face Panda. "What's up?" "I have an idea." "What?" "We should do a Wicked style 12 Days of Christmas." "Yeah, we should!" "But it should be Lurlinemas instead of Christmas."
~ (Twenty minutes later, after much debate) ~
"On the first day of Lurlinemas, guess what happened to me. I met a girl named Dorothy."
At the moment those words left the girls' lips, Syn'ri's shirt turned green and in cursive writing said 'Dorothy'. Since she was sitting behind them, it wasn't that noticeable.
"On the second day of Lurlinemas, Miss Glinda gave to me: two ruby slippers and I met a girl named Dorothy.
When they said 'ruby slippers' a stunning pair of red ruby slippers materialized upon Panda's feet where her snow boots were moments ago. "Oh my Oz! Kawaii, look at my feet! They're all besparkled and stuff!" Kawaii looked down at Panda's feet, and her eyes widened in shock. "Don't go clicking your heels just yet. We still have 10 more days to get through." Panda, who was in mid-click, stopped and slunk back down in her seat. "Fine, but as soon as we're done, I'm clicking my way home." "Whatever."
"On the third day of Lurlinemas, Fiyero gave to me three French kisses, two ruby slippers, and I met a girl named Dorothy."
This time, Kawaii got her own pair of slippers, Syn'ri ended off the verse with 'that's me', and both Kawaii and Panda's respective 'Fiyero's' appeared out of nowhere and promptly began making out with them, which caught more than just the student's eyes. "Girls! What are you doing?" their teacher asked not getting any kind of reply other than the 'oooooooohhhhhhhhhh's' from the other girls in the class. When they resurfaced, the girls clung tight to their respective guys.
"On the fourth day of Lurlinemas, Elphaba gave to me four deadly curses, three French kisses, two ruby slippers, and I met a girl named Dorothy."
This time, Elphaba appeared in a cloud of red smoke looking enraged. She looked down, to her horror, at Panda's and Kawaii's feet. "Who gave you those slippers?" she asked. The girls said nothing for a few moments as they stared at her in awe and admiration. Finally, Kawaii spoke up, "Miss Glinda gave them to us." "Just like Glinda to keep giving away things that don't belong to her. First she let's that wretched little farm girl take them off of poor Nessa's feet, now these two magically have them. What next?" while Elphaba ranted, the girls quickly ended the verse. Only Syn'ri's 'that's me' roused her. "Enough of this! I hope you like straw and tin, because that's all you'll be when I'm done with you!" "Wait! We have something for you!" Panda said, quickly handing out the third pair of slippers to her. Elphaba simply stared at the shoes, before grabbing them and retreating into a corner. "Thank you." She said.
"On the fifth day of Lurlinemas, Chistery gave to me five Grimmeries! Four deadly curses, three French kisses, two ruby slippers, and I met a girl named Dorothy."
Out of seemingly nowhere, Chistery appears and drops five, rather large, green, leather-bound books onto Kawaii's desk. Almost at the same moment, the flying Monkey flew into Elphaba's waiting arms, and Panda and Kawaii quickly cracked open the two Grimmeries closest to them, and were stunned that they could comprehend.
"On the sixth day of Lurlinemas, Fabala gave to me six severed fingers, five Grimmeries, four deadly curses, three French kisses, two ruby slippers, and I met a girl named Dorothy."
At this, a toddler version of Elphaba slowly walked towards the stuck up kids in the class. She had a mystical quality about her that gave her appearance of innocence even more believability. One of those poor, unfortunate souls ignorantly held out their hand for her to grab. Fabala promptly took advantage of the situation and snipped off all five fingers with her sharp teeth. Then, before they can react, she snipped one more. Fabala brought them over to the girls who had a bowl for her to deposit them. Panda handed the little girl a seemingly ordinary glass ball that had her mesmerized. "Don't worry," Kawaii started, "she's harmless to those who are down to earth." Panda finished.
"On the seventh day of Lurlinemas, Morrible gave to me seven cyclones spinning."
The skies outside darkened, and while everybody else was busy being intrigued by the sky, Panda gently took the sphere from Fabala. The small child then snipped off six more fingers and deposited them in the bowl. Panda gave her back the mass of green glass. Five more Grimmeries appeared on Panda's desk, two more ruby slippers appeared on the floor near the girls' feet, and Syn'ri ended the verse.
(From now on, I am only saying what happens with that one item until I hit number 12)
"On the eighth day of Lurlinemas, The Wizard gave to me eight tickets to Wiz-O-Mania."
Eight tickets to a showing of Wicked appeared in Kawaii's hands, and both girls almost fainted at the sight.
"On the ninth day of Lurlinemas, Turtle Heart gave to me nine rubies shining."
Nine well-sized rubies rained down into Panda's open hands. Both girls agreed that the best and most beautiful rubies came from Quadling Country. Panda then deposited the jewels into a velvet pouch.
"On the tenth day of Lurlinemas, Galinda gave to me ten pointy hats."
Ten hats, identical to the one perched atop Elphaba's head, appeared out of thin air. Two of them found their ways onto our two favorite little authoresses' heads.
"On the eleventh day of Lurlinemas, we used the Grimmerie to make eleven flying brooms."
Almost instantaneously, eleven ordinary looking, wood- handled brooms were seen and heard clattering to the floor. Panda and Kawaii got up, Grimmeries in hand, and gathered around the brooms. They each opened their books to the levitation spell, sat down, joined hands, and chanted, "Ahben Tahkay Ah Tum Entay Ditum Entayah" They repeated it over and over again, until suddenly, the brooms rose off the floor. "Oh, Kawaii! Can we go ride on the pretty brooms?" Panda asked, jumping up and down forgetting that she was wearing ruby slippers; she almost toppled over in her excitement. "In a minute, we still need to finish one more day." Panda sighed and got ready to sing the last verse.
"On the twelfth day of Lurlinemas, Glinda gave to me twelve floating bubbles, eleven flying brooms, ten pointy hats, nine rubies shining, eight tickets to Wiz-O-Mania, seven cyclones spinning, six severed fingers, five Grimmeries, four deadly curses, three French kisses, two ruby slippers, and I met a girl named Dorothy!"
The damage that was left behind included: 12 giant bubbles that had Elphaba cowering in the corner, 22 floating brooms, 30 pointy hats, 36 rubies all put into a pouch, 40 tickets to Wicked, 42 giant storms raging on somewhere in the world, 36 fingers piled in a bowl with four sniveling teens who either have a pinkie or thumb, 40 Grimmeries piled around two desks, 36 unsaid curses, a lot of kissing, 11 pairs of ruby slippers, and Syn'ri being tired of only saying 'that's me' during this entire fic.
After the girls cleared out the bubbles and conjured Fabala back to her time in Oz, Elphaba rose to leave with Chistery on a broom. "Wait, Miss Elphaba," Panda called out. "Yes? What is it?" Elphaba said in return. While holding out the pouch, she explained, "These rubies don't belong in this world. Please, take them back with you, back where they belong." The beautiful green skinned woman took the pouch, mounted the broom, and went on her way; towards the west. Kawaii set the bowl of fingers in front of their owners and laughed darkly when returning to her seat. The two then found a spell to clear everything up. All but two brooms, the Grimmeries in their hands, and the slippers on their feet seemingly vanished into thin air. Our two favorite authoresses mounted their brooms, after dissolving the glass of the window, and flew out to find their friends so they could go home.
Okay my reader peoples, this took us twenty minutes for the lyrics, and two weeks to type. This is seven pages long. The things I do for you guys. Well, anyway, happy holidays. Comment, review, and be safe this holiday season.