A/N: I'm not personally a big fan of MPreg buuuut when you're listening to music and you get savagely attacked by rabid plot bunnies, as a fangirl you kinda have to go through with it XD

Pairings: XS (duh) and maybe a hint of BelFran if I feel like it later

Warnings: Yeah, nothing too graphic 'cause I'm still too much of a prude to write aLemon *cue dramatic music*

Squalo was pissed. As we all know, this isn't entirely uncommon but goddammit the pizza guy was late and the eight month old monstrosity inside of him wanted its pepperoni, squid and celery dish and it wanted it now. He rubbed his tummy and cursed humanity in general as the baby kicked inside of him, seemingly noticing its father's displeasure and happily adding its own two cents worth to the dilemma. Finally, after what seemed like a life time of waiting (but was actually only around twenty minutes), the doorbell of Squalo's surprisingly up market apartment rang. To Squalo and his eternally hungry progeny, it sounded like the bells of heaven ringing out and promising a tasty, but not necessarily healthy, meal and a chance to get some well needed rest afterwards.

After Squalo had paid for the food, having bit back a response to the overly cheerful "there you go miss!" that he had received from the adolescent dropout that had delivered it, he slumped down onto his a couch and tucked in to his meal. It was much easier for him to just go along with the female vibe while he had a stomach the size of a beach ball, he got fewer awkward looks from cashiers and the like when he didn't correct them. It was hard enough just being a single soon-to-be parent, he didn't want to wind up as a government experiment because some piece of trash blabbed to the entire bar about the "pregnant dude" who bought five liters of Mountain Dew and an extra large packet of Oreos from him yesterday.

He was also glad he didn't have to deal with his trash boss, who was the only real reason he was in the position he was, because really, what had he expected from the cruel hearted man he had fallen for, and slept around with, who was himself hopelessly in love with the fragile trash tenth, who in turn was completely oblivious. It was something out of a fucking Shakespearian tragedy, except Juliet wasn't male, or pregnant, oh and Romeo loved her back. Can't forget that little detail. He still remembers Xanxus' reaction to his pregnancy when he had finally worked up the courage to tell him, "get rid of the fucking thing". Lovely. Xanxus really had a way with words that left you feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside (sarcasm). After Xanxus had given his child savage bat he decided it was probably best for the both of them if they left quickly and quietly. So they did. And now he was living in an apartment in a quiet part of Venice, with a big, fat bank account and a little miracle on the way. He had never been so fucking miserable.

Having finished his pizza he stood up with much difficulty and made his way to his bedroom where he flopped down on his bed and listened to the sounds of his next-door neighbor and their wife arguing about which colour they should paint the kitchen. Who cares if egg-shell blue would clash with the crockery? How he longed to get his sword and end the both of them but unfortunately, if he saw their blood and got too excited, he could go into early labor. Which would suck. Seriously. The one things he missed about the Varia was being able to vent his frustration without consequence but he supposed that maybe he could understand the position his neighbors were in, he himself had no idea what he would paint the nursery, what he would name the baby, where he would buy baby clothes and who the fuck was he meant to ask about changing diapers? He supposed that he could easily look up all that shit on the internet but what about naming the child? He couldn't name it Xanxus because he would sound desperate, he couldn't name it Squalo because that would be weird and he most certainly wasn't naming it after any of the stupid shits he used to call team mates. Maybe the crazy old lady in 23B would be able to come up with something creative, old people are good at that shit.

Squalo got under the covers and rested one hand upon his stomach before drifting off to sleep. Maybe egg-shell blue would look good in the nursery…and with that last thought he dozed off, completely exhausted after a long day filled with baby pains.

Lol Idk how I managed to write this much in the time I did. :) Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter thingy, I have a feeling that this shall be a very fluffy fic OTL. Drop me a line if you thought it was passable as a story or if you feel I deserve to be shot (I'm a big girl, I can take it-_-)

Fuffyloobs