I do not own Hetalia. However, I do own this interesting/disturbing story. A few days ago...

Friend: *pokes me in the stomach for 50th time*

Me: *squeals/squeaks/god-knows-what-noise-that-was for 50th time*

Friend: "You know, France would rape you because of all the weird noises you make."

Me: O.O

Yeah...I thought you all should know that.

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Romano's first encounter with Antonio went a little like this:

His fifteen year old brother (a year younger) had a friend/boyfriend named Ludwig. Ludwig had an older brother, who was friends with a pervert named Francis that Romano had reluctantly met, and a mystery friend named Antonio. One day his idiot brother dragged him over to Ludwig's house and the seventeen year old potato bastard needed to go pick up his brother from college that day. Of course, since Ludwig was going, Feliciano wanted to go too.

"Please Roma?"

"No."

"But why not, it'll be fun!"

"No it won't. I'm not going."

Then the puppy dog eyes started. Damn him….. "Fine per l'amor de Dio, I'll go!"

"Yay, Romano's coming too!" Feliciano did some stupid little dance, clapping his hands gleefully.

The car ride was tense, Ludwig and Romano avoiding even looking at each other, and Feliciano's voice getting increasingly higher and louder as he tried to cut the tension by rambling about trivial things.

Romano hated Ludwig; his hate for the German was so potent you could taste it. Romano had raised his little fratello since they were eight and nine; their mother dead in childbirth to Feliciano and their father walking out on them at four and five. Their grandfather had taken care of them, but then the cheerful idiot passed away. Determined to stay together they had lived in secret, Romano being big brother, mother, father, and grandfather all at once. And now some stupid potato bastard had swooped in and captured his little baby brother's attention! Hadn't he told the nitwit a thousand times not to get close to anyone, that they would be found out and yanked apart? Yes! And did he listen to him this time? No! He had listened all the other times! What the hell?

Finally they arrived at the college and Feliciano leapt out of the car, jumping around joyfully like the high-functioning mental patient he was. Romano got out of the car to and followed, sulking as Feliciano ran after Ludwig. Suddenly-

"Kesesesesese!" Ludwig's albino demon of a brother jumped over Ludwig's shoulder, two other people dashing around and behind the German, all three cackling like maniacs.

Gilbert, Ludwig's big brother biologically if not mentally laughed his signature laugh. "That'll teach Specs, huh?"

Francis, the huge mega pervert Romano had met before grinned cockily, hand on one hip. "Absolutely mon ami; did you see hiz face? Priceless!" He twirled some random rose in his hand, idly sniffing it with a laugh.

"Si!" The other, a tanned stranger with brown hair and eyes agreed, chuckling. "Wait until he sees his car! Good thing it wasn't on campus, huh amigos?"

Before either of the laughing idiots could answer Ludwig sighed. "Vat did you three do this time bruder?"

"Torched Specs' car." Gilbert answered casually. Specs was an uptight Austrian boy at the college Gilbert hated.

"Ah ah." Francis scolded, wagging an elegant finger. "First we stripped son voiture, zhen we torched what was left."

Ludwig got all pissed and started lecturing Gilbert, who just laughed and made snide comments. Finally he noticed Feliciano and Romano. "Hey you two! Come to see the awesome me?"

"I'm only here because he's here." Romano retorted, jabbing a thumb at his little brother, who was looking at the stranger interestedly.

"Ve~…. who's that Gilbert?"

The self-proclaimed "Awesome Ruler of the whole motherfuckin' world" looked at the stranger. "Well, you already know Franny, and this here idiot is Antonio."

Francis draped himself on Gilbert's neck, and Antonio crouched down to hug the albino's waist, the Frenchman announcing, "We are ze Bad Touch Trio."

Antonio beamed stupidly at the brothers. Or, more specifically, at Romano. "Hola! I'm Antonio! I'm Spanish!"

"No shit you're Spanish!' Romano cried, instantly infuriated-for no reason he could tell- and Antonio beamed at him, letting go of Gilbert to hug Romano. "Awww, you're so cuuute! Gilbert, can I keep him?"

Romano-previously frozen with shock from this stupid, idiotic, good smelling, kind of ho- IDIOT hugging him- screeched, "NO you cannot keep me! I'm not a pet you stupid bastard! Let go of me! Let me go!"

He pounded on Antonio's chest-very chiseled chest-for a moment before the idiot let go, pouting cutely-IT WAS NOT CUTE!- and looking down at the Italian "Well can we be friends then? I'm Antonio! I'm gay, but Francis and Gilbert said not to tell people that since they might beat me up, and are you gay, because my gaydar's been going off on you and I don't know if it's faulty or not…."

He rambled on, making Romano blush furiously. Yes he was gay, but did the bastard have to ask it so bluntly? This twenty year old was obviously a complete idiot, but….he was hot, he seemed nice-harmless too-he smelled like tomatoes, and he had looked at Romano first, talked to Romano first, so far not even sparing Feliciano a glance and seemingly not about to any time soon, when all Romano's life it had been the other way around.

He was annoying, stupid, touched him without permission, and his hands had been a bit too low for the Italian's comfort, but Antonio had been the first person not to coo and fawn over Feliciano, leaving Romano alone and unwanted, like a mangy, moody, good-for-nothing stray mutt no one wanted.

Romano looked to the side, forcing down his blush, the Spaniard eagerly awaiting his reply. "I…I suppose you can tag along with me occasionally, if you don't get in my way or cause too much trouble."

"YAY!" Antonio pounced, grabbing Romano in a hug and spinning him. "Don't worry my little Roma-" ROMA? "I'll behave; I just want to spend time with you my cute little tomato!"

CUTE LITTLE TOMATO? Cue furious blushing and pounding on chest. "Shut up you stupid tomato bastar! Put me down and let the hell go! Let me go!"

"Awww, you're so cute! We're going to be best friends! And maybe more!"

"Maybe more! What the hell is that supposed to mean? I said put me down!"

"Ah love. A beautiful sight, non?"

"Sure Franny, sure."