Struck with random inspiration for a story far different from my other one (Ain't That a Shame). Please note: the main character isn't the Courier. Said character is also kind of crazy and not all that nice so keep that in mind. M next chapter. Things are gonna get bloody fast.

I don't own Fallout, its setting, its characters, etc.

I. DE NOVO

The blade felt sharp on my skin, each stroke sounding off a delightful scrape as it went over my scalp. The grip of the metal was hot in my hands now. Took a long time to do this, a fact I had forgotten in my years of needless vanity. I set the razor down on the edge of the chipped basin and turned the knobs of the faucet until the thin trickle of water came out, lukewarm on my hands, somehow colder on my head and neck. The mirror was cracked and barely attached to the wall but it served its purpose, showing me my new guise. My hair lay in the sink and at my feet. It seemed longer off my head than it had been on. I hadn't shaved my scalp since I had been young, very young, attempting to fit in with the boys at the orphanage. And now it was time to pretend to be a man again.

The binding was a much faster process. Once I brushed the stray hairs from my bare shoulders, I dug through my pack for a roll of gauze. A false start with uneasy fingers, then the real thing after learning from my mistakes. The bandages were tight over my chest, but that was the only way. I could learn to deal with the discomfort. I stared for a while, admiring my work. It was convincing, I hoped. This had been a long time coming. Traveling aimlessly for so long searching for a sign, for any hint of guidance, and then I had spotted the smoke rising up a ways off.

Legion.

I had heard of it but had never witnessed its wrath. Not until this morning, when I ventured into this town, air heavy with death, fires still burning despite their makers being far gone. Tales of its conquests spread far and wide, and I was infatuated. The power, the sheer unapologetic forcefulness. An army worthy of worship. Its misogyny was an unfortunate side effect of its vigor, and was something that I intended to bypass. I had longed for a calling, one that suited my nature, my… forward way of dealing with things, and I had come to the Mojave to find it. I wasn't about to let gender get in the way. Of course attempting to join the Legion outright would be foolish as a woman, so I would simply have to make a name for myself otherwise.

I pulled my dark shirt over my head and the gauze disappeared under the fabric. Leather came next, a suit of makeshift armor that I came across in some town a ways back. A heavier set would have been ideal for my up-close methods, but that would also hinder my movement, which I put great value upon. Speed often won out over brute force in the wasteland, and if nothing else it allowed me to run away faster if necessary. Plus, metal plates did absolutely nothing for stealth.

Steps creaked under my feet on my way back to the first floor. The general store had been ransacked entirely but its bathroom had been relatively intact, enough for my needs. That man in the main section of the shop had spoken to me when I initially entered, then had yelled when I ignored his pleas for drugs and mercy. He heard me on the steps now and obscenities began pouring from his mouth. Had he no shame?

"…Come on, you bitch, anything." His voice was hoarse, painfully dry from so long without water. He craned his head to stare at me, eyes red, dark lines under them. "What the fuck? You turn into a teenage boy?"

I looked elsewhere. He was unpleasant to gaze at, with his legs bent at odd angles, bodily fluids collected between them. "Be quiet."

"Fuck you. I can say whatever the fuck I want." His voice cracked. "If you aren't gonna kill me, get me some fucking water, will you?"

"No."

"Why the fuck not?"

I tilted my head at him. His eyes were furious. "You were clearly left here for a reason. I would not undo the Legion's work."

"Oh, you're with the fucking Legion? Fucking wonderful." He paused to cough. It was grating. "You're just as bad as that dog-headed piece of shit."

"Dog-headed?"

"Yeah, you know, wearing a fucking wolf helmet. Some Legion bullshit, I don't know. He's the one that did all this."

"Oh. Interesting." So this town's fate hadn't been a random act of mere underlings. Someone important did this. Someone whose work I now deeply admired.

"Yeah, it really fucking is." His voice dripped with sarcasm despite his state. I did not care for it. "Get me some fucking water already."

"Get it yourself."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Look at my fucking legs, you bitch."

"I did." I crossed my arms over my now-flat chest and walked to the broken window to peer out of it. The wind was picking up outside, sending the sand into a flurry. "The sink isn't that far. If you truly wanted water, you could crawl."

"Oh, fuck you. Fine, leave, go off to your fucking Legion buddies and have a grand fucking time."

I glanced over my shoulder. "I am not a part of the Legion. Not yet."

"Not yet? Jesus fucking Christ, you're a lunatic. Is that why you got rid of your hair and shit?"

My patience was wearing thin. I would have to go soon, lest I lose it altogether. "Yes."

"I hope they find out and fucking beat your legs in." He grinned, showing discolored teeth. "Or worse. Maybe they'll rape you. Maybe they'll make you a slave."

"Maybe." I shrugged and reached for the doorknob.

"You're really gonna leave without fucking giving me anything."

"Yes, really."

"God. Fuck you. What the fuck's your name, anyway?"

I paused and turned. There was no use in not telling him. And I never lied. Never. "Phoenix."

"Yeah? Well fuck you, Phoenix. I hope you rot in hell."