I could honestly say
You've been on my mind
Since I woke up today, up today
I look at your photographall the time
These memories come back to life
And I don't mind
I sat and stared at the photos before me, the ones of us together. Having fun! Like we should be doing now... I flicked through the many photos of us together. It was as if we were made for each other. We liked the same things, got on well, did things together. We were the couple that everyone envied and wished they were like! The many photos of us lay around me as I sat propped up against the sofa. We had grown so much in the past 3 years...
I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
***FLASHBACK***
"C'mon..." Finlay said, holding his arms out to me as we sat on the beach, while our friends played in the water, "CeCe... get up"
"No..." I replied, stubbornly,
"Cecelia Lily Jones... Get up now!" he said, sternly. I rolled my eyes and placed my hands in his. He pulled me up and I landed in his hard frame. He placed one of his hands at my waist, before placing one of mine on his shoulder and taking the other in his hand,
"What are you doing?" I asked, giggling as he placed his forehead against mine, looking deep into my green eyes,
"Making up for the missed prom dance" Fin said, I giggled as he began to move us back and forth, and in circles – it was no secret. Everyone knew Finlay couldn't dance to save his life. He didn't turn up to the after party for prom because he didn't want to dance. It left me hanging, while my friends all danced with their boyfriends. He realised later how much that hurt me.
"Babe... there's no music" I said, giggling as I stared into his sea blue eyes. He kept his forehead attached to mine; he smiled at my giggle,
"All the music you need is in here..." he said, trailing off and pointing his finger to my heart. He kissed me softly as the sound of everyone playing in the sea echoed behind us...
***END OF FLASHBACK***
But I remember those simple things
I remember 'till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget
Is goodbye
I sat and stared at the photo of us on the beach together. I remembered back to the day we split as a tear ran down my cheek... The one day I wished would never come...
***FLASHBACK***
I sat on the sofa with my legs drawn up to my chest. Finlay was sat on the opposite side of the room – he wouldn't look at me. He came over and has said the odd couple of words to me – the rest of the time he'd been sat sulking; ignoring me. He wouldn't speak to me; hug me; kiss me! There's something up and I wish he'd tell me...
"Babe... what's up?" I asked, as he sat in silence. He glanced up at me, before returning his gaze to the floor. "Fin..." I said, my eyes welling up. I'd been here many times before... I knew what was coming, "Finlay... please, just talk to me!" I said, getting pissed with him. He looked up at me,
"We need to talk" – those four words had the power to destroy anyone's life in a matter of seconds. And they were ripping my heart to pieces! I knew exactly what he was going to say...
"Ok" I replied, sniffing; trying to not cry. I didn't want to show he'd gotten to me.
"This relationship isn't working" Finlay began. I closed my eyes as my heart shattered right then and there. "It's not you... it's me..." – that is the worst lie in the book! Everyone uses it to break with someone,
"Please don't Finlay... please" I said, as a tear ran down my cheek. I looked up at him and he looked away. He hated seeing me cry, that was the one thing he tried to not do. He always made sure I was happy, he never liked to see me hurt. "Whatever the problem is... we can fix it! Together!" I continued, begging, "Just don't do this please! I love you!"
"I'm sorry CeCe... but we need a break. I think we need to see other people... sorry..." he began, as the tears fell at a faster pace, "Goodbye"
With that said, he had gone; left the house! A simple goodbye! No explanation... just 'I think we should see other people'. I pulled myself into a ball on the sofa and cried... The tears just kept coming. They wouldn't stop!
***END OF FLASHBACK***
The pain isn't as bad as it was then. It still hurts to think of him with someone else. But that's life, and I have to deal with it! It's an obstacle I have to overcome to see the next stage of my life...
I woke up this morning and played our song
And throwing my tears, I sang along
I picked up the phone and then put it down
'Cause I know I'm wasting my time
And I don't mind
I turned my iPod on in its dock and pressed play before turning to walk towards my wardrobe. Airplanes – B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams came on. I stopped in my tracks. It was our song.
"Can we pretend that airplanes, In the night sky, Are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now..." I sang, as tears fell, "Can we pretend that airplanes, In the night sky, Are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now.."
I sat on the edge of my bed and continued to listen. I can still hear Finlay attempting to rap, but failing epically. Every time the song came on in the car, he'd rap B.o.B's parts and I'd sing Hayley Williams' parts. It was funny how shit we were. I turned towards my bed side table and grabbed my phone. I unlocked it while wiping the stray tears from my eyes. I dailed Finaly's number and listened to the rings. It rang three times before I put it down. Speaking to him wouldn't do much good, especially if I was crying. I mean it's been a month... what if he has a new girlfriend? I just need to move on!I said to myself as I placed my phone on my bed and continued to change...
I remember when we kissed
I still feel it on my lips
The time that you danced with me
With no music playing
***FLASHBACK***
"BAHHH!" I screamed, jumping on Finlay's back,
"SHIT!" he shouted, falling flat on his front on the bed, "Be thankful the bed was there... otherwise, you wudda been dead" he continued, turning so I was underneath him. His lips latched to mine and his hands trailed down my sides – the next thing you know... I'm squirming underneath him and his devious hands. I pulled out of the kiss,
"S-S-TOP!" I spluttered as he continued to tickle my sides, "S-TOP F-FINLAY!" I continued, as he laughed and began to slow the tickles down. I reached for the pillows and grabbed one, smacking him over the head with it. He stumbled back a bit, shock plastered over his face,
"Oh no you didn't" he said, pointing his finger at me in a gay manor,
"Oh yes I did!" I said, launching the pillow at him – he ducked and picked it up of off the floor before making his way towards me,
"It's on like mud on a pig" he said, making me giggle as I picked up another pillow...
We stayed in all day, just having pillow fights and sitting and talking. We watched movies and eventually fell asleep on the sofa...
***END OF FLASHBACK***
I remember those simple things
I remember 'till I cry
But the one thing I wish I'd forget
The memory I wanna forget
I walked into Walmart pushing the trolley in front of me, not paying attention on what was going on around me. I came to a sudden stop. I'd hit another trolley,
"CeCe?..." a familiar voice said. I didn't want to look. I knew who it was, "CeCe! I've not seen you in..."
"A month Finlay... nearly two!" I said, cringing at the sentence,
"How you been keeping?" he asked, as I looked at him. His sea blue eyes were torturing me. The same blue eyes that I fell for the first time I met him – over 4 years ago!
"As well as can be expected" I hissed. I was still touchy over him and what had happened. I tended to be mean and have an attitude when I was upset. I didn't like people seeing me hurt or upset! He knew that better than anyone, so the sudden change in attitude didn't bother him,
"Oh..." he said, rubbing his neck, "Look CeCe... if it means anything. I am sor- "
"Just leave it Finlay" I said, cutting him off before walking away. As I walked away, tears began to run. The thought of him acting normal and trying to be friendly upset me... it seemed like he'd moved on...
Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up
With your ring tone
I hesitate but answer it anyway
You sound so alone
And I'm surprised to hear you say
My eyes fluttered open to the sound of Thanks for the memories – Fall Out Boys playing on my phone. My nap had been interrupted. That ringtone meant only one person... Finlay. I grabbed my phone and stretched while yawning before answering it,
"Hello?"
"CeCe... listen..." Finlay began. I knew this would be a long convo. So I sat back and listened,
"Ok..." I replied, waiting for him to speak...
You remember when we kissed
You still feel it on your lips
The time that you danced with me
With the no music playing
I jumped out of the shower and jogged to my room, drying my hair at an Olympic pace before changing into my dark denim zip detail skinny jeans, my navy check shirt. I yanked my brown leather buckle mid calf boots on before beginning to curl my hair and hang it loosely down my back.
***FFW HALF AN HOUR***
I sat in the kitchen waiting. He was mena be here by now... The bell rang and I practically galloped down the hall – opening the door and letting Finlay in. I closed the door and he followed me into the front room to talk...
"So..." he said, sitting down next to me,
"So..." I said, leaning back in the seat,
"Look, CeCe..." Finlay began. I sighed, getting ready for a long lecture. "I'm sorry" he continued, I gave him a confused look, "I'm sorry! I was wrong! We didn't need a break. That was the worst thing I could've done!" he continued, I was listening contently, "I've missed you so friggin' much! I can't even describe the pain!"
"Well, I've been going through the same..." I said, looking into his sea blue eyes, "I still love you... I always will!"
"I'll always love you!" Finlay replied, "I miss just being able to talk with you! I miss cuddling up to watch a movie with you! I miss the smell of strawberries in your hair after you've just showered!" he continued, listing the simple things you wouldn't expect someone to miss, "I miss the way your smile is always crooked on one side, I miss you're giggle and I miss kissing and holding you! I feel empty without you!"
A tear fell, I can't believe he missed all those things...
"I regret saying we needed a break... truth is, we need each other! Let's just forget the last 2 months of our lives and pretend it never happened!" he said, as a tear fell from his eye, "Please, take me back..."
"I never wanted to end it with you in the first place!" I said, sniffing and hugging him, "I love you... no matter what!"
You remember those simple things
We talked 'till we cried
You said that your biggest regret
The one thing you wish I'd forget
Is saying goodbye, saying goodbye
Ohhhh, goodbye