Rocky XXVI
A Fight About Nothin'!
Written by: Dylan
Enter Apartment 5A, Jerry and George were in the middle of watching Rocky IV while Elaine was making herself a snack.
"Geeze would ya look at the size of that Russian, I don't know how they expect Rocky to be able to beat this guy." ...
"What do you mean, George? You've seen this movie eleven times, you know Rocky wins!"
"No listen Jerry, Rocky isn't that tough. Look at him, that Russian guy is three times his size and the directa of this movie expects us to believe Rocky's supposed ta win? They're just doin' this so that they can make anotha and anotha! Squeezin' all the money outta us so that we'll pay to see it!"
"While it's true that Rocky isn't as big you have to see that he's still a pretty tough guy, he's Rocky Balboa for cryin' out loud! Look at the guy!"
"Oh come on, Jerry. He's just an actah when it comes down to it, I bet I could beat him."
"You could take Rocky?"
"Well why wouldn't I? I'm stocky, I'm brawny, he's just all make up and actin"
Elaine walks over
"George, no offense but you couldn't take the lid off a Pickle jar, let alone fight Rocky Balboa"
Kramer bursts through the door, falls, and quickly jumps back up
"It's all set buddy!"
George turned to him, confused
"What's all set?"
Kramer jumped up and down with excitement
"I called Rocky and told him how you said he was all fake and he agreed to fight you!"
"YOU WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT, HE'LL MURDAH ME!"
"Well when I was out in the hall, I coulda swore I heard you sayin' you could take him...I thought you wanted to! Besides, they'll pay ya a bunch to do it!"
"Pay me? A bunch? Alright...alright yeah! I'll do it! I'LL DO IT JERRY I'LL DO IT!"
MEANWHILE At the Balboa house.
"I'm real. I'm real. I'm real. I'm real" Rocky muttered to himself, over and over.
Adrian walks in
"What's wrong honey? Why do you keep saying that?"
"Dat porkchop think's I ain't real, Adrian. I gotta shows him I is. I is real! Dis is gonna be the toughest fight I ever fighted, I gotta proves myself."
Feb. 5th Day of the Match
"WELCOME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN TO THE APARTMENT OF JERRY SEINFELD, WHERE WE HAVE SQUEEZED IN A BOXING RING FOR THIS EVENT! TWO FIGHTERS WILL ENTER THE RING BUT ONLY ONE WILL WALK OUT! I PRESENT TO YOU, IN THIS CORNER, WEIGHING...A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT...CAN'T STAND YA, COSTANZA!" AND IN THIS CORNER...THE ITALIAN STALLION...ROCKYYYYYYYYY BALLLLLLLLBOAAAAA"
Jerry rubbed Georges shoulders to loosen him up
"You ready, George?"
"I'm ready, Jerry!"
"You sure, George?"
"Oh yeah, Jerry!"
Jerry turns to Kramer
"He's not ready"
DING DING
The two leave advance toward each other
"Wait a minute...I don't know how ta fight, and this is ROCKY BALBOA"
"I'll show youz who's not real!"
Rocky lands a punch directly in Georges face, shattering his glasses
George recovered, turned around and made for the exit of the ring
"THAT'S IT, GET ME OUTTA HERE JERRY, GET ME OUTTA HERE"
"Georgie no! You can do this! Remember you'll get paid!"
Jerry acted like he was trying to encourage his friend but knew how stupid George was and just wanted to see him get punched some more.
George turned back around and started swinging wildly in the air
Rocky dodged and gave George a hard uppercut to the jaw!
George grabbed onto Rocky and held tight
He then began whispering
"Listen eh, Mr. Balboa, I'm sorry for what I said and if ya let me live maybe I can get ya into a Yankees game sometime?"
Rocky shoved him away quickly
"I HATE DA YANKEES!"
Rocky came at George with everything he had and landed another hard blow to George's face.
George hit the ground, dazed, and began mumbling "Serenity now...serenity now"
ROCKY HAS WON THE MATCH
"YO ADRIAN, I IS REAL AFTER ALL!"
Kramer dove into the ring and picked George up
"Listen buddy I don't wanna criticize ya but it was a really dumb idea to fight this guy, ya know"
George snarled "I hate you, Kramer"