Author's Notes: This is my first ever Megamind fic, and it was written as a response to an anonymous prompt on the megamind_movie LJ's flashfic thread. I'm uploading it here, too, for archive purposes. The prompt was as follows:
h t t p : / / pinkyapple. deviantart. com / art / Hello-Mr-Mind-188190102? q=+sort%3Atime+megamind&qo=238
Would love to read something like this but with mini!Roxanne instead :D. No established relationship. Would preferably see it take place during the time when Roxanne still hasn't decided whether he's a villain or not. Make it cute!
This was what I came up with. Set pre-movie.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the word order.
One Small Problem
Roxanne came to with a start and the distinct combination of irritation and dread that could only mean she'd been abducted yet again by Metro City's own personal supervillain. Grinding her teeth, she opened her eyes, preparing to let loose with her first volley of unimpressed commentary…
"We meet again, Miss Ritchi."
…and screamed in abject horror instead.
"Wow, sir; that's the first reaction you've gotten out of her in months!" Minion's voice issued with admiration from over her head.
Roxanne skittered backwards in what she realized was probably a very undignified crab-crawl, pressing herself up against the wall behind her. In the process, she realized dimly that for once, she wasn't bound to a chair, although she was pretty sure she would prefer that over her present predicament.
Because somehow, impossibly, she had been shrunk down to three inches tall while she'd been knocked out. Both Minion and Megamind were looming over her, looking ridiculously pleased with themselves.
"What did you do to me?" she shrieked, forcing herself to her feet for all the good it did.
Megamind gave her a truly nasty smile in response, leaning his elbows on the table, steepling his fingers, and bringing his face down to her level.
"Why, Miss Ritchi; don't tell me you're actually… frightened?"
Okay, that was it. She wanted to see that smug look disappear, and she wanted it to happen right now.
"Fine, I won't!" she snapped, and promptly pulled off her shoes and threw them at his even-more-overgrown-than-usual head. Her aim was pretty good today; they both hit him right in the eye.
"GAH!" he yelped, stumbling backward and clutching a hand to the eye in question. Minion rushed to his aid, catching him under the armpits before he could topple completely over. "Am I bleeding? I bet I'm bleeding..."
Roxanne looked from side to side, trying to get her bearings. She seemed to be on top of a worktable; the surface she'd thought was a wall behind her turned out to be a pencil holder. She snuck around behind it hurriedly as Megamind continued to stagger around and Minion continued to promise that no, he wasn't bleeding.
Metro Man, of course, would be there any second, Roxanne was sure. But in the meantime, she really didn't want to risk getting squashed by the bumbling duo before her, so she set about looking for a decent place to hide.
She had just set her sights on a promising-looking stack of books when Megamind, apparently recovered, slammed his hands down on the table, knocking her off her feet. She held her breath and kept very still.
"That was very unsporting of you, but I can assure you it won't happen aga—Wait, where did she go?" Megamind asked, his voice pitching upward in panic at that last. He started picking up things from the table haphazardly, looking underneath them. "Oh, this never happens when you dehydrate people! Mental note – shrink ray does not im-oh-BEE-lize its targets…"
Roxanne stood again and started tip-toeing toward the edge of the table, intent on using his chair to get to the ground and, with any luck, a door. Unfortunately, Megamind wasn't as distracted as she'd thought.
"Aha!" he crowed triumphantly, and before she could take off at a run like she wanted, she was swept into the air.
Roxanne stomach lurched, half from the sudden change in altitude, and half from revulsion that her captor had her closed in his fist, which was now the only thing between her and a straight drop to the floor.
She'd take her chances with the floor, she decided.
Squirming and kicking and flailing, she tried to throw off his hold, to no effect.
Megamind let out one of his customary diabolical laughs, inadvertently tightening his grip as he did so. "Struggle all you wish, my dear; you're no match for me in the first place, never mind at your current diminutive size!"
"Let… me… go!" she ground out, biting down on his thumb, but his gloves were too thick and she didn't hurt him in the least. "You're… squeezing… too… hard!" she gasped as an afterthought.
Green eyes widened in alarm.
"Am I? Whoops," he said, and relaxed his hand a bit.
Roxanne sagged against his fingers, winded, and cast a glance up at the ceiling. Aaaaaany minute now…
An uncomfortable silence settled over them. Megamind snuck a sideways glance at Minion, who shrugged. Roxanne, having calmed down significantly now that the initial shock had worn off, propped her chin on one hand and drummed against Megamind's knuckle with the fingers of the other.
Megamind gave a little cough.
Minion shuffled from foot to foot.
Roxanne blew a puff of air upward, ruffling her bangs.
"Sooooo," she drawled, breaking the silence, and the other two immediately perked up. "A shrink ray, huh?"
Megamind puffed out his chest with obvious pride.
"Yes! My shrink ray can render even the strongest of opponents completely tiny and completely harmless!"
"Except for when they hit you in the eye with their shoe," she reminded him dryly.
He deflated, but only momentarily.
"Yes. Well. We'll see how well your precious Metro Man can defend Metrocity when he's the size of an insect!" And he started up again with the cackling, much to Roxanne's dismay.
An alarm pinged to life on the console behind him, then, and he whipped around, taking Roxanne with him. The motion left her head spinning, but she recovered quickly as the display came on and Metro Man's visage filled the screen.
"So, you've finally decided to show yourself," Megamind taunted. "What took you so long? Did you get distracted by a shiny penny on the ground?"
"For your information, pennies are supposed to be very good luck. I thought I'd do you a favor and pick one up for you, since you need all the luck you can get when it comes to fighting me!"
"Is that so? If I'm the one who needs luck, how is it that I'm the one holding your beloved Roxanne Ritchi, and you're not?"
"Roxy!"
"Metro Man!" she hollered, not sure how far her voice could carry at this size.
She saw his face contort with confusion.
"Where is she, you fiend?" he demanded.
"Down here!" she answered before Megamind could say anything.
"I can hear you, Roxy, but I can't see you! You must be off-camera!"
"No, I'm not! I'm right here!" she yelled, waving her arms for good measure.
"Enough!" Megamind interrupted, shoving the hand he held her in behind his back. "MINION!"
Minion snapped to attention.
"Yes, sir!"
"Prepare the shrink ray!"
"On it, sir!"
There was a series of beeping sounds, then a loud whirring noise, and then the room began to shake.
"READY!" Minion sang out.
"AIM!" Megamind replied in kind.
"FIRE!" they both shouted in unison.
"Don't mind if I do!" Metro Man said, flashing a grin, and the wall exploded as his laser vision blasted their lair a new doorway. Through the dust and debris, Roxanne saw the beam from the shrink ray shoot across the exterior camera's field of vision and catch harmlessly against a street lamp, shrinking it instantly.
Megamind was coughing into his free hand, still clutching Roxanne close to his chest with the other.
Roxanne suddenly felt an odd sensation, like a ripple of static electricity that made all her hair stand on end. A moment later, she was back to her normal size, the rest of the room's occupants staring at her, dumbstruck.
"…Mental note," Megamind muttered weakly. "Shrink ray's effects limited to a period of about an hour."
Their eyes locked for a split second as they realized they had hold of each other's hands. They were immediately separated as Metro Man hoisted the supervillain up by the collar of his cape and flew him outside to deposit in the back of one of several police cruisers that had come rushing to the scene. Minion, who had done an admirable job of blending in with the computer console, made a shushing motion at her and took off for the rear exit.
Roxanne stood in the middle of the wrecked lair for a moment, brushing dust off her slacks and out of her hair before Metro Man returned and offered to fly her back to her apartment, which she accepted gratefully, in no mood to walk there with no shoes.
As she stood on her balcony waving goodbye to him, her memory flickered back over the events of her most recent kidnapping, and it snagged on something in particular that made her laugh aloud.
Megamind, self-proclaimed Incredibly Handsome Master of All Villainy, had blushed when they'd held hands.
That was definitely going to come in handy the inevitable next time she saw him. Definitely.