Somewhere, Someday
*Musical intro* Amidala sat in her chair by the massive window of her bedroom. Rain poured steadily upon it. Her thoughts were not on the weather though. They lingered on a boy: A boy whom she had not seen for 5 years, a boy whom she missed very much, a boy who was probably more of a man now. The young queen sighed as more tears blurred her vision and burned their way down her cheeks. Her crying was not unnoticed. For a young Jedi Padawan lingered in the shadows of the queen's room watching her and listening to her heart wrenching sobs.
*When clouds above you* Another flash of lightning and rumble of thunder boomed in the black sky. Amidala didn't even blink. She just stared blankly out the window at nothing. This wasn't the first time she sat in front of her window and let tears roll by. This had to be the millionth time, actually. And ever since that cocky little ten-year-old and his stubborn master walked out of her life, corruption, doubt, and despair had walked in. Eating at her happiness and killing her soul.
*Start to pour* More tears came down at this thought. The horrible thing was, no one knew of the queen's sadness. In the eye of the public, she plastered an emotionless gaze upon her face, but when she was alone in her room at night, she would cry. Cry for Anakin. Cry for Obi-Wan. Cry for her country. Cry for herself, and cry for the war she was losing in her heart.
*And all of your doubts* She would also doubt herself. She was still young. Barely 19. And she could not do this on her own. She couldn't rule a country when there was a giant void in her heart. Sure, she had Sabe and Captain Panaka, but she felt they were friends with the QUEEN, not the girl underneath. Amidala continued to sob despereatly. Anakin kept his silent watch, but not without pain of his own.
*Rage like a storm* His emotions boiled inside him as he read her thoughts with the force. How could he have left her alone for so long? How? Why did he? Jedi were supposed to be selfless, but when he left Amidala he did it to fulfill HIS dreams and HIS desires. He seriously didn't think about how it would hurt others. He had hurt his mother by leaving and now Amidala. It was too much to bear. Anakin sunk to his knees and grabbed his head with his hands. He had put Amidala through too much pain.
*And you don't know* Anakin's mental self-pounding was stopped as Amidala's tear-choked voice echoed through her room.
*Who you are anymore* "GODS DAMNIT ALL!" I CAN'T TAKE IT! I'M JUST A TEENAGER! I LONELY, TIRED, SAD TEENAGER... WHO ONLY WANTS TO BE LOVED FOR BEING HER! NOT FOR BEING QUEEN!" She took a shuddering breath, and Anakin's head raised. "I just want..." she whispered sullenly, "I just want him to be here. I miss him." Another tear fell from her pale face and dropped onto the marble floor.
*Let me help you find* Anakin couldn't take it anymore. She needed him. She needed him now. He couldn't listen any longer. He stood up slowly and walked to the chair. Amidala didn't even notice the footsteps. He kneeled by the side of her chair and spoke.
*What you've been searching for* "I missed you too Amidala." He whispered into her ear.
*Somewhere... Somewhere there's a field and a river* Amidala's eyes widened in shock as she turned to face the voice. Was he here? Or was she finally going insane? It wouldn't surprise her if she was.
*Somewhere... You can let your soul run free* Anakin reached out a hand and stroked Amidala's cheek. "Ami- Your Highness... I'm so sorry.... You don't know how much I've missed you. I never realized that by leaving I would hurt you so..." She stared with wide eyes at his face her heart beating frantically
*Someday... Someday let me be the giver* She tears her eyes away from his eyes and looks over his face. His boyish features had matured over the 5 years they had been apart. His eyes were still the cool pools of blue that she had come to long for dearly over the years and his hair was still in that adorable spiky style complete with the traditional Padawan braid. His shoulders were broader as was his chest. His arms were muscular, but his hands were soft upon her cheek. Before she could let her eyes wander any further she whispered a single question.
*Let me bring you peace* "Anakin?"
*Somewhere... Somewhere there's a break in the weather* The rain continued to pour outside, but the world around the two teens faded away as they stared into each other's eyes for the first time in 5 years. Not even the clashing of thunder could tear them from each other.
*Somewhere... Where your heart and spirit run free* Anakin continued to stare. She was just as beautiful as the day they first met. Her face became more mature, but her hazel eyes were still kind. But at the moment, they were frantic. She had certainly... developed over the past 5 years, he noted, but the childish smile was still there. Although she did not wear it, he could tell.
*Someday... Someday it will be for the better "Ani? Is it really you?" she asked as a trembling hand reached out and touched his face as gently as a feather. He only nodded. Tears that had been welling up in her eyes, flooded and rolled down her cheeks.
*Let this bring you peace* "ANI!" She cried. And in an instant she was weeping in his arms. Weeping out of joy. Weeping out of pain. Weeping out of loneliness. Weeping out of belonging. Weeping out of confusion. Weeping out of understanding. He only held her and rocked her slowly.
*Girl I know you* Amidala suddenly realized her folly and wrenched herself from his arms weakly. Wiping the tears from her blotchy eyes, she cleared her throat. Anakin's mouth dropped in amazement. "What brings you to the palace?" she asked as calmly as she could. She couldn't let her emotions get a hold of her so easily.
*Think no one sees* Anakin's brow furrowed in anger. Why wouldn't she trust him with her feelings? Why?! The thunder rumbled again and Amidala bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. Anakin lowered his eyes and as quickly as it came, the anger vanished. Now he only felt pity for her. She was so lost, so lonely and needed someone. Needed him.
*The weight on your shoulders* Amidala couldn't stop the tears from coming. They stung her eyes and made her feel so weak and helpless. She wanted so desperately to reach out and hold him. To thank the Gods he was safe. To thank the Gods he had come back. But her pride, her title, her duty... they all prevented her from letting out her emotions. And she hated herself for it. Her shoulders sagged and she let the tears rush again.
*But you can't fool me* Anakin lifted her chin with his hand. She kept her eyes down cast. "Ami," no response. "Ami... look at me." She did not raise her eyes. "Trust me Amidala."
*And aren't you tired* She raised her eyes wearily. Her chestnut hair was strewn freely around her face, and her eyes were full of fear. Anakin understood.
*Of standing so tall* She was afraid. She was exhausted. She was lonely. And needed him. He raised from his kneeling position and pulled her up with him. She allowed herself to be pulled up. She was sick of being the strong one. It was time she relied on someone else to comfort her.
*Let me be the one* Suddenly, her knees, weak and stiff from her constant sitting and weeping, gave way and she collapsed.
*To catch you when you fall* But Anakin was ready, and caught her tired, weeping form in his arms.
*Somewhere... Somewhere there's a field and a river* He rocked her slowly, whispering her name over and over again. Comforting her as best he could.
*Somewhere... You can let your soul run free* She sobbed loudly. "Ani... I'm so happy you're here! I've missed you... was... worried... Oh Ani!" He continued rocking her.
*Someday... Someday let me be the giver* "Shhhh... Ami... don't speak just let it all out" he said soothingly, "I'm here I won't leave you. Not now..." She just clung to him tighter as he rubbed her back.
*Let me bring you peace* She continued crying. Nothing seemed to dam her tears. No words he could say. No actions could he make. She just would not stop crying. He was beginning to get very worried.
*Somewhere... Somewhere there's a break in the weather* Anakin raised his eyes from the sobbing queen's form and over to the window. The rain was still pouring but it had become less harsh. Instead of raging storms and crashing thunder, there was a soft pitter-patter on the windowpane. Anakin sighed. "Ami, please..." his voice cracked as he recalled his words from so long ago, "I care for you."
*Somewhere... Where your heart and spirit go free* Amidala barely heard him through her crying. Her head was swirling. Her heart was pounding. Her tears were burning. Suddenly something heavy seemed to be lifted off her shoulders. She raised her head and met his eyes. Then she did something she hadn't done in a long while.
*Someday... Someday it will be for the better* She smiled. Through her tears, heart-wrenching sobs, and inward demons, she smiled. Anakin felt relief. He was able to help her.
*Let this bring you peace* Amidala pulled away from him and covered her face with her hands. He frowned. "Amidala? Ami? Are you... are you alright?"
*Let me bring you joy* She looked up and to Anakin's disbelief she was laughing.
*Let me bring you peace* Amidala laughed. She clutched Anakin's hand as tears still rolled from her cheeks. She smiled and spoke.
*Take these tears that you've cried* "Anakin, you're here! You're safe! How could I not be alright?!" Her tears splattered onto his hands, which were held tightly by hers.
*And trust them to me* He smiled slightly, and concentrated. He began to use the force to sense what she was feeling. He sensed a mixture of complicated emotions. Fear, joy, doubt, belief, confusion, understanding, love and hate all rolled into one. What stood out was not the emotions, but what she was saying over and over again in her mind.
*Let me give you hope* "I care for you too."
*Let me give you hope* Amidala wiped away her tears and attached herself to him again. "Jedi," she said still fighting her tears and inner battle of feelings, "It's not fair to read my mind."
*And be the one constant love* Anakin said nothing and just held her. "Amidala... You will be ok. Don't cry any longer. And don't fear. Don't doubt. Don't be confused. And don't hate. For I am here. I will not let any harm come to you. EVER." This was a vow he made more to himself rather then to her.
*That you've never known* Amidala was shocked beyond words. This... this young boy... This 15 year old was speaking wise, passionate words that someone almost twice his age could not think to speak and actually mean at all. And Amidala knew by the tone of his voice, the way he held her, the way his tears mingled with her own... that he meant it.
*Somewhere... Somewhere there's a field and a river* Amidala held onto him for dear life and sanity. Her demons and fear were slipping away. And the thunderclouds in her mind subsided.
*Somewhere... You can let your soul run free* She was no longer alone. He was here... he would always be there. What had taken so long for her to realize that? How could she have been so ignorant. He may not be there physically, but mentally... emotionally he would always be there for her.
*Someday... Someday let me be the giver* Anakin felt the queen's shivering and sobbing come to a slowing halt. An occasional sniffle escaped her and tears still dotted his tunic, but the worst was over. She was beginning to see...
*Let me bring you peace* Things would be ok... she was calming down. She had won the battle within her heart. She had let some of the barriers fall and now he knew that she did in fact care for him.
*Somewhere... Somewhere there's a break in the weather* Amidala raised her head and stared out the window, as did Anakin. Outside, the storm had subsided. The Naboo countryside was fresh with raindrops and in the clearing night skies, in place of a raging thunderstorm, was a blanket of stars.
*Somewhere... Where your heart and spirit go free* Amidala looked at Anakin.
*Someday it will be for the better* Anakin looked back at her.
*Let this bring you peace* And for the second time that night, but without tears upon her face and a wild heart...
*Somewhere* The queen of Naboo smiled.
*Somewhere... Someday* And at that moment Anakin and Amidala knew...
*Let me be the one to catch you when you fall* That they would always be there for each other, no matter what, no matter where, they would always be together.
*Somewhere... Somewhere... Somewhere* And somewhere, someday... when they were ready... they would be married. Anakin took Amidala in his arms and kissed her lightly on the forehead. She looked up at the young Padawan with happiness in her eyes.
*Music Fades Out* "Thank you Ani."
THE END
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